(no subject)
This week has been pure manical. The things I have done on top of the heavy drinking on top of the less then a few hours of sleep have finally caught up to me. I'm dazed and moving slow but fast. I run into things and mix up words. I blink too hard and dissociate. I have no emotions.
Some things have been scaring the shit out of me. Some new friends I made this week are really cool and have a good personality, but not one of them have an ounce of trust in me. I could swear that Justin is going to really screw my sister over big time and Al is just after one thing. With no solid reason, it's like I can't believe anything they say. They may swear up and down they just moved here from Texas but I just can't rationalize that! This really fucking sucks. Not everyone is a bad guy, right? I guess the fear of abandonment I've always had has really taken it to a new level.
I'm glad i've seen Jenn more, and that I am reading novels that relate, and that wells are only two bucks at Old Chicago, and that happy hour has been every hour especially at OC, and that the Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks are back, and that it's slowly getting cooler out, and I am glad that I can still atleast feel the music and books. Fiona Apple has saved my life for now.
I've been spending too much money this week. Damn lush. So to that I am going to the mall and buying a shirt and some underwear.
Wax Fang tonight. <3
Some things have been scaring the shit out of me. Some new friends I made this week are really cool and have a good personality, but not one of them have an ounce of trust in me. I could swear that Justin is going to really screw my sister over big time and Al is just after one thing. With no solid reason, it's like I can't believe anything they say. They may swear up and down they just moved here from Texas but I just can't rationalize that! This really fucking sucks. Not everyone is a bad guy, right? I guess the fear of abandonment I've always had has really taken it to a new level.
I'm glad i've seen Jenn more, and that I am reading novels that relate, and that wells are only two bucks at Old Chicago, and that happy hour has been every hour especially at OC, and that the Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks are back, and that it's slowly getting cooler out, and I am glad that I can still atleast feel the music and books. Fiona Apple has saved my life for now.
I've been spending too much money this week. Damn lush. So to that I am going to the mall and buying a shirt and some underwear.
Wax Fang tonight. <3