Read Plath or fall into the great abyss!
After having a much needed and enjoyable conversation with Anthony, I realize that I have never been able to talk for so long with someone without feeling bored or frustrated. My mind became almost rejuvenated and the need to put every last thought onto paper has become carnal. When Nick asked me to draw some cover art up I immediately got to work when before I would put something of this nature off because (like many) I am just no good at this art business. Positive reinforcement is what I needed I think. Anthony along with very, very few others have seen the things that I have drawn/written and to introduce something to someone "new" felt invasive without some sort of encouragement from the knowing party.
A Friday night cooped up at home all alone isn't ideal for most, but right now it's fine. I've had contact with people all day at work yet I have felt alone all day. Maybe after a few more bourbon and coke's I will be up for something more. I've been slowly slipping into an a constant state of anxiety and thus my need for liquor to be social is kicking in. I know I have control over that now. No more days of where the only immediate problem was how strong my cocktail was or if there is any beer left! I know that I am getting better at controlling my depression. This is something I can handle. I'm glad I found someone who is really actually sticking with me. I put Nick through some rough crap but it's just the fact he hasn't given up. I love him. I can't wait for the fair!!
Cheers to one day closer to fall!
A Friday night cooped up at home all alone isn't ideal for most, but right now it's fine. I've had contact with people all day at work yet I have felt alone all day. Maybe after a few more bourbon and coke's I will be up for something more. I've been slowly slipping into an a constant state of anxiety and thus my need for liquor to be social is kicking in. I know I have control over that now. No more days of where the only immediate problem was how strong my cocktail was or if there is any beer left! I know that I am getting better at controlling my depression. This is something I can handle. I'm glad I found someone who is really actually sticking with me. I put Nick through some rough crap but it's just the fact he hasn't given up. I love him. I can't wait for the fair!!
Cheers to one day closer to fall!