(no subject)
I am feeling really good i think.Today will be my seventh day.Yesterday i went and made money to pay more back towards people i owe.And it felt really good.I cut grass.I miss this feeling.Like im really trying to do something positive.I have not felt this good in a year.Im getting over being angry at the people i was angry at.Im at the point today where its like who cares if they dont?Ill always love my family and friends.No matter how they are.But I am going to stop helping people who dont honestly do anything for my life.I want to start focusing on me and my two brats.{and my mom and dad]I feel like for the first time that im doing good.I had a person say something to me that really felt good yesterday.But it also made me think alot.I need to start walking again.I hope i continue to feel this way.I seen my cousin Trisha yesterday.I have missed her.I wish i could somehow steal all the things that have made her want to drink,i wish i could take away how she feels about herself.I see myself in her.Or i see her in me.Either way.I love her. Shes never hurt me,shes always been a sweetheart.Its sad,is sometimes the people most lost,are the people who are so kind.Sometimes all we need is someone to take a walk with,someone to look at us like were people.Not to judge us,or give us advice,just tell us,i love you how you are.And besides seeing shes killing hersellf,i love her how she is.Because shes gone through enough to were i think that if a person chooses to,they should be able to live how they want.I just like to see her smile.[i just wish she knew that i actually really care alot.I dont just say it.Its hard to see her though because of those people who judge.I live by rules though im almost 30.But this is all going to change.Just felt like writing.