???

[deadguttergirl]

its hard to breathe sometimes
its like ive lost myself
my personality gone
ive no room to think of me
the more i do the less i feel
ive no thoughts no art
i remember feeling dark and disturbed
i felt strongly and the feelings made me
the sadder i was the more alive i became
these days im sober of the sadistic laura
im too far away to feel my dreams
where did she go
how does she get by
is she still there
is she still alive
does she exhale and inhale
is she dust beneath my feet
am i still here,was she ever me
im growing so distant
im feeling so different
growing up and losing soul
feed me my old darkness
give me something that feels familiar
im in need of something drastic
i fear im stuck this way
im afraid my only healthy release is gone
who am i,if i am not who ive always been
do i move on and pretend im happy
do i accidentally forget i was something different
what if i become happy
what if i learn to be grown up
what if happy feels so unsafe to me
what if now im more scared than ever
what if im more alone,more weak
what if i forget that there is even a person inside of me?