OOC LOG: Lucci and George
Who: Lucci and George
What: A series of emails between the two, and then a log resulting from said emails!
Where: Over the internets, and then in the Aquarium Bar on Thousand Sunny
When: Monday, Dec 14th
Rating: PG-13
-----
Lucci,
I need to talk to you and I just can't deal with doing it face to face, and making an LJ post to talk to you just seems stupid, so I thought I'd email you.
Last night you kind of... not exploded because you did it very calmly but...whatever, you know what happened last night. And you said that I sometimes say things that...I don't know, you said you didn't want to have that conversation, but I think I do want to have that conversation because I just...I need to know what you're thinking about all this and how you're feeling and what I'm fucking doing wrong so I can stop doing it.
To be honest I was...a little relieved when you ranted at me last night. I mean. I know you've been trying to hold shit in and be normal and hide how you're feeling but. I was kind of starting to feel kind of stupid for this whole thing because it kind of felt like you didn't really give a shit. And I know you do but. I try talking to you and it's like I don't even know you anymore. And I know that's because you're holding back or whatever but...
...what do you want me to do, Lucci? Do you want me to stop trying to talk to you? I don't know what I'm doing anymore and it seems like all I've been doing since I got back is fucking things up even worse so...I don't know. I just. Wanted to let you know what I've been thinking or whatever and. You don't have to reply if you don't want to.
I'm sorry I'm such a fuck-up.
-George
-----
George,
You're not a fuck-up. You're dealing with a difficult situation that you've never been in before, and it's hard. I may not understand exactly how you feel - you've just told me several things I had no idea you were thinking, for example - but I understand that, and I don't blame you for being upset and making mistakes.
What I do have a problem with is the fact that you essentially asked Usopp if he wanted me to die so that he could have you to himself. You say that you don't like the way I hide my feelings, but you don't like the fact that he can't? I don't know what you want from me, George. I'm trying my best to be your friend without making myself a burden to your decision, but if you don't want me to do that, what do you want? It seems to me that my only other option is to be like Usopp and act like the world is falling down, because sometimes that's what it feels like, and I imagine that's what it feels like to him to, and probably you as well.
I don't want you to stop talking to me. That's the last thing I want, but I told you: I don't know what I want you to do. There is no ideal outcome. All I can ask of you is to make your decision based on what you want, because it's your life and you deserve to be happy. Stop thinking about this in terms of what I want or what Usopp wants. At worst for either of us, he's young and resilient, and I've been through worse than even you might ever see. We'll survive.
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
I just feel. Lost right now. You and Usopp are my best friends and since everything is so fucked up I feel. Alone. I don't know. Nevermind.
I really am sorry about that. I've just...been trying so had this whole time to be kind and easy on Usopp because I know that I'm hurting him and I know he has every right to feel the way he does I just...got frustrated. We were having a perfectly decent conversation and he just had to twist it back to how miserable I made him and I know I'm making him miserable I don't need to be reminded every five seconds, especially over something like you asking us both to look after Hattori if something happens to you. Because that's not about him and me at all, and I was just hoping that I could have a conversation with someone that wasn't about all this. I know it was childish and inappropriate to say what I did and I really don't know what to say to apologize. Other than I'm sorry.
I'm tired. I can't make a decision that will make me happy because either of you being unhappy makes me unhappy. I can't separate that out, it's a huge part of the situation. It's the biggest part. Because I don't really think I deserve either of you and the fact that you're so miserable and Usopp is so miserable because of me is...I just. Can't really wrap my mind around it. I'm not worth all this. And I really don't know what to do. I love you both. I want you both. I feel like I owe Usopp some loyalty because of how wonderful he's been to me, but you're important to me too and I can't push you away when I want you so badly. I don't know what to do. And time isn't making it any easier or clearer it's making it harder and just making all of us more miserable and I don't know what do do.
And I don't know what else to say either. I don't know what I want from you. I don't have the right to ask anything of you.
I'm sorry.
-George
-----
George,
What do you want me to do? Do you want me to tell you what to do? Do you want me to leave? I don't know how to make this easier. I don't know what to say. All I know is that I worked hard to get where I am and I can feel it all slipping away and I wish that everything could go back to being the way it was. I hate making you hurt like this. I hate making Usopp hurt like this, and I don't understand that, because he's been my friend for a long time, but that never stopped me from being selfish before. Nothing makes sense anymore.
I'm trying to be strong, but I don't have any strength left. Something's got to give. I just hope it isn't me.
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
...kiss me?
-George
-----
George,
...Where are you?
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
...Aquarium bar. Please come?
-George
-----
George,
Fine. I'll be there in five minutes.
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
Thank you.
-George
-----
What am I doing? Lucci must have asked himself that twelve times on the way to the aquarium bar, and was still asking himself with his hand on the doorknob, trying to work up the nerve to walk away. I don't need to do this. Not again. Ten more seconds, and he opened the door. "George?"
George stood up from the bench she'd been sitting on and took a few steps toward him, stomach fluttering anxiously. "Hey," she said, reaching out her arms for a hug.
Lucci slammed the door shut behind him harder than he'd intended, walked forward, and only hesitated for half a second before reaching out and pulling George into a hug.
George sighed heavily, relaxing into his arms. Oh yes. This was much better.
Lucci sighed too, not knowing whether to feel better or worse.
George pressed her face against Lucci's chest, breathing him in, and let her hands slide down his back, trying to forget everything but this right now. Because if she was really being honest with herself...this was really what she wanted most right now.
Lucci ran his fingers through George's hair and tried to think of something to say. Anything. But there was nothing, and maybe it was best if he didn't speak after all.
George pulled away just enough to look up at Lucci, expectantly. She hoped he'd just do it because otherwise this whole thing was going to be just another thing that she'd royally fucked up.
For a moment, Lucci held his breath, still trying to think, and then he threw thinking out the window and leaned down and kissed George.
George kissed back, lifting her arms to wrap them around Lucci's neck, pulling herself closer to him, not letting herself think about anything but the feeling of his lips on hers.
It was significantly easier not to think this way. Lucci just held on and forced himself to forget everything. This was all he wanted.
George gently broke the kiss with a sigh, pulling away to take Lucci's hand and tug him toward one of the benches lining the room.
Lucci followed, sitting down on a bench. He was starting to think he should just never talk again.
George leaned in to kiss Lucci again, softly, almost like a question.
Lucci kissed back harder than he'd intended, but didn't let up. He was through with holding back.
George made a small noise into the kiss, pleased, and kissed back with just as much force.
This didn't come remotely close to fixing everything, but it certainly made Lucci feel better. He ran his hands over George's back, kissing her deeper.
George moved closer, forcing Lucci to lean back against the back of the bench as they kissed, just wanting to be closer, wanting to forget.
Lucci hesitated for a moment, a little unsure of everything he was doing at this point, and then pulled George forward onto his lap.
George climbed into his lap without hesitation, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and deepening the kiss, her heartbeat loud in her ears.
Lucci had to remind himself to breathe. They'd done this once before, but it hadn't really been anything like this. He put his arms around George's waist and nipped at her lower lip.
George made another noise into the kiss, tightening her hold on him, as if it would anchor her in the moment.
The part of Lucci's brain that was trying to convince him this was a bad idea had given up. What little conscience he had could take a beating if it meant he got to kiss George some more.
George broke the kiss gently and trailed a line of kisses along his jaw before nibbling lightly at his earlobe.
Lucci's breath hitched a little at that. He ran his hands through George's hair and over her back, wondering at the way that just being this close to her made his heart want to beat out of his chest.
George moved to bury her face in to crook of Lucci's neck, placing soft, open-mouthed kisses there, really hoping that this was making him feel better, like it was for her.
Lucci swallowed hard, hands bunching up in the back of George's shirt. He turned his face toward George's hair. She smelled good.
Sucking lightly at Lucci's pulse point, George let the fingers of both hands wander into his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp, almost reveling in being able to touch him like this.
That felt...really good. Lucci closed his eyes and sighed, wishing he could get closer than this.
George sighed too, just holding him and being held for a moment, wishing she could melt into him.
Lucci had always liked how they didn't really have to talk. He could never express his feelings adequately through words anyway. He leaned down to press his lips against the side of George's neck.
George shivered lightly, tilting her head a little more and pressing her fingers further into Lucci's hair, mind blissfully blank except for this.
Lucci kissed her again and again, much the same way she'd done for him, and wrapped his arms around her waist a little tighter.
George's breath picked up as he kissed her and she moved her hands down along Lucci's neck and over his shoulders, tracing down the well defined lines of his arms.
"...I love you," Lucci said quietly. He immediately felt stupid for speaking, but didn't say anything else.
George tightened her hands on Lucci's biceps. "I love you too," she almost sighed.
This was probably the first time George had said that that Lucci was able to force himself not to feel anything but happy about it. It took effort, but he managed. He kissed George's neck again.
George lifted her head, and lifted Lucci's chin with a light touch, brushing her lips lightly against his, teasing.
Lucci kissed her more softly than the first time, almost as if by accident.
George smiled against Lucci's lips, kissing him again, just as softly.
Lucci made a soft noise, almost a purr, and kissed back with just a little more pressure.
George liked that noise. She equaled Lucci's pressure, letting him keep complete control over the kiss for the moment.
Lucci completely understood why George liked this so much now. He started to purr almost inaudibly.
"Mmm," George hummed into the kiss, breaking it softly. "Good kitty," she said, before kissing him again.
Lucci chuckled a little and purred louder, kissing back.
George pulled away a little to look at Lucci's face. She was unable to keep a small smile off her lips, feeling better in this moment than she had in weeks.
George's smile was infectious. Lucci found himself returning it, and leaned in to rest his forehead against hers.
"You're a really good kisser," George said after a long moment of silence, her smile widening.
Lucci ran his fingers through her hair some more. "Thank you. So are you."
George brought a hand up to either side of Lucci's face, just holding it gently. "Thanks."
Lucci reached up to take George's hands in his own, bringing them down so he could kiss the back of her hand.
George flushed lightly, threading her fingers with his.
"I'm sorry I made you upset," Lucci said quietly, looking down at George's hands.
George shook her head. "I'm sorry I made you upset."
Lucci sighed. "We're not very good at being happy, are we?"
"Terrible," George said, squeezing his hands. "But it's better now, right?"
"Mmhm." Lucci kissed her hand again. "Much."
George smiled. "Good," she said., leaning in to nuzzle her nose against his.
Lucci smirked and kissed her again.
George kissed back, letting her eyes flutter closed, lips parting of their own accord.
Lucci let his tongue slip into George's mouth, hands drifting up over her arms.
George placed her hands flat against Lucci's chest and leaned into him, letting her tongue move softly against his.
This was a relief. Lucci was sick of talking about things. Talking wasn't helping anything, but this he knew how to do.
George pressed herself closer to him, hands sliding slowly over the planes of his chest.
Lucci nipped softly at George's lower lip, letting his hands drop to rest on her legs.
George kissed Lucci a little harder, making a small noise that indicated impatience.
Lucci didn't know what George wanted, and he was afraid to make a move in case it turned out to be the wrong one. He kissed her back just as hard, letting his fingers flex a little against her thighs.
George knew what she wanted, but also knew that even this was probably going a little too far, considering the situation. Unless she made her decision right now, that was, but she still cared way too much about Usopp to do that. Especially so soon. But for now, George pushed that thought away and concentrated on kissing Lucci. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders again, holding him tightly and pressing her body to his.
Lucci had a good idea what George wanted now. He was pretty sure it was similar to what he wanted, but...that was a bad idea on multiple levels and he knew it. Not that it had ever stopped him before, but he knew better this time. Reluctantly, he put his hands back up on George's shoulders.
George broke the kiss again and rested her forehead against his, breathing slightly heavier than before. She didn't say anything for a moment, eyes still closed, wanting to push this further and knowing she shouldn't.
All of Lucci's nerves were crackling, but he managed to keep his breathing under control. He ran his fingers through George's hair again. That was kind of addictive. He really liked her hair.
George made a small, frustrated noise and tightened her arms around him. "I want..." she said softly.
Lucci had to close his eyes at that. "...Me too."
George leaned forward to rest her cheek against his. "I'm sorry," she nearly whispered.
"...It's okay," Lucci said, just as quietly.
"No it's not," George said, sighing heavily.
Lucci smirked ruefully. "Maybe not."
George idly ran her fingers along the back of Lucci's neck. "I don't know how to fix this," she said, helplessly.
"Neither do I," Lucci sighed.
"But I love you," she said, sounding very small.
Lucci took a breath, stopped, and looked away.
George bit her lip. Maybe she shouldn't have said that. "...should I leave now?"
Lucci didn't know what to say to that. "...I don't want you to. Whether you should is a different matter." But he tightened his arms around her back, just a little.
"I don't want to either," George said. She paused for a moment. "This whole thing is almost as bad as dying."
"That bad?" Lucci had that sunken, twisted feeling in the pit of his stomach again.
"Worse in some ways. Dying only takes a second and then you deal with it."
Lucci took a breath to speak again, but gave up and looked away. "...I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. All you did was love me," George said, tightening her hands on the back of his neck.
Lucci didn't know how to respond to that. He kissed George again.
George kissed him back, inhaling sharply through her nose. she wished this didn't feel so right, because it wasn't. Not right now, anyway.
After a long moment, Lucci pulled back. He swallowed and looked away. "Okay," he said softly. "...I think I'm going to go now."
George just nodded, crawling back out of his lap a little awkwardly.
Lucci stood up. He didn't want to leave without saying something, but he didn't know what to say. Hesitant, he reached out and brushed his knuckles against George's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"
George looked up at him and searched his eyes for a moment before nodding and looking back down at the floor. At least things seemed to be...a little better than they'd been before. She hoped. "Tomorrow," she said.
Lucci didn't try to smile, knowing that it wouldn't look right. He nodded, waited a moment longer, and then headed for the door.
George sat back down on the bench and watched him go, knowing that the moment he closed the door behind him she was going to go straighe for the liquor cabinet. She hoped she hadn't just complicated things, but knowing her luck, and the way this situation seemed to get more tangled every day, her hopes weren't high.
What: A series of emails between the two, and then a log resulting from said emails!
Where: Over the internets, and then in the Aquarium Bar on Thousand Sunny
When: Monday, Dec 14th
Rating: PG-13
-----
Lucci,
I need to talk to you and I just can't deal with doing it face to face, and making an LJ post to talk to you just seems stupid, so I thought I'd email you.
Last night you kind of... not exploded because you did it very calmly but...whatever, you know what happened last night. And you said that I sometimes say things that...I don't know, you said you didn't want to have that conversation, but I think I do want to have that conversation because I just...I need to know what you're thinking about all this and how you're feeling and what I'm fucking doing wrong so I can stop doing it.
To be honest I was...a little relieved when you ranted at me last night. I mean. I know you've been trying to hold shit in and be normal and hide how you're feeling but. I was kind of starting to feel kind of stupid for this whole thing because it kind of felt like you didn't really give a shit. And I know you do but. I try talking to you and it's like I don't even know you anymore. And I know that's because you're holding back or whatever but...
...what do you want me to do, Lucci? Do you want me to stop trying to talk to you? I don't know what I'm doing anymore and it seems like all I've been doing since I got back is fucking things up even worse so...I don't know. I just. Wanted to let you know what I've been thinking or whatever and. You don't have to reply if you don't want to.
I'm sorry I'm such a fuck-up.
-George
-----
George,
You're not a fuck-up. You're dealing with a difficult situation that you've never been in before, and it's hard. I may not understand exactly how you feel - you've just told me several things I had no idea you were thinking, for example - but I understand that, and I don't blame you for being upset and making mistakes.
What I do have a problem with is the fact that you essentially asked Usopp if he wanted me to die so that he could have you to himself. You say that you don't like the way I hide my feelings, but you don't like the fact that he can't? I don't know what you want from me, George. I'm trying my best to be your friend without making myself a burden to your decision, but if you don't want me to do that, what do you want? It seems to me that my only other option is to be like Usopp and act like the world is falling down, because sometimes that's what it feels like, and I imagine that's what it feels like to him to, and probably you as well.
I don't want you to stop talking to me. That's the last thing I want, but I told you: I don't know what I want you to do. There is no ideal outcome. All I can ask of you is to make your decision based on what you want, because it's your life and you deserve to be happy. Stop thinking about this in terms of what I want or what Usopp wants. At worst for either of us, he's young and resilient, and I've been through worse than even you might ever see. We'll survive.
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
I just feel. Lost right now. You and Usopp are my best friends and since everything is so fucked up I feel. Alone. I don't know. Nevermind.
I really am sorry about that. I've just...been trying so had this whole time to be kind and easy on Usopp because I know that I'm hurting him and I know he has every right to feel the way he does I just...got frustrated. We were having a perfectly decent conversation and he just had to twist it back to how miserable I made him and I know I'm making him miserable I don't need to be reminded every five seconds, especially over something like you asking us both to look after Hattori if something happens to you. Because that's not about him and me at all, and I was just hoping that I could have a conversation with someone that wasn't about all this. I know it was childish and inappropriate to say what I did and I really don't know what to say to apologize. Other than I'm sorry.
I'm tired. I can't make a decision that will make me happy because either of you being unhappy makes me unhappy. I can't separate that out, it's a huge part of the situation. It's the biggest part. Because I don't really think I deserve either of you and the fact that you're so miserable and Usopp is so miserable because of me is...I just. Can't really wrap my mind around it. I'm not worth all this. And I really don't know what to do. I love you both. I want you both. I feel like I owe Usopp some loyalty because of how wonderful he's been to me, but you're important to me too and I can't push you away when I want you so badly. I don't know what to do. And time isn't making it any easier or clearer it's making it harder and just making all of us more miserable and I don't know what do do.
And I don't know what else to say either. I don't know what I want from you. I don't have the right to ask anything of you.
I'm sorry.
-George
-----
George,
What do you want me to do? Do you want me to tell you what to do? Do you want me to leave? I don't know how to make this easier. I don't know what to say. All I know is that I worked hard to get where I am and I can feel it all slipping away and I wish that everything could go back to being the way it was. I hate making you hurt like this. I hate making Usopp hurt like this, and I don't understand that, because he's been my friend for a long time, but that never stopped me from being selfish before. Nothing makes sense anymore.
I'm trying to be strong, but I don't have any strength left. Something's got to give. I just hope it isn't me.
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
...kiss me?
-George
-----
George,
...Where are you?
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
...Aquarium bar. Please come?
-George
-----
George,
Fine. I'll be there in five minutes.
-Lucci
-----
Lucci,
Thank you.
-George
-----
What am I doing? Lucci must have asked himself that twelve times on the way to the aquarium bar, and was still asking himself with his hand on the doorknob, trying to work up the nerve to walk away. I don't need to do this. Not again. Ten more seconds, and he opened the door. "George?"
George stood up from the bench she'd been sitting on and took a few steps toward him, stomach fluttering anxiously. "Hey," she said, reaching out her arms for a hug.
Lucci slammed the door shut behind him harder than he'd intended, walked forward, and only hesitated for half a second before reaching out and pulling George into a hug.
George sighed heavily, relaxing into his arms. Oh yes. This was much better.
Lucci sighed too, not knowing whether to feel better or worse.
George pressed her face against Lucci's chest, breathing him in, and let her hands slide down his back, trying to forget everything but this right now. Because if she was really being honest with herself...this was really what she wanted most right now.
Lucci ran his fingers through George's hair and tried to think of something to say. Anything. But there was nothing, and maybe it was best if he didn't speak after all.
George pulled away just enough to look up at Lucci, expectantly. She hoped he'd just do it because otherwise this whole thing was going to be just another thing that she'd royally fucked up.
For a moment, Lucci held his breath, still trying to think, and then he threw thinking out the window and leaned down and kissed George.
George kissed back, lifting her arms to wrap them around Lucci's neck, pulling herself closer to him, not letting herself think about anything but the feeling of his lips on hers.
It was significantly easier not to think this way. Lucci just held on and forced himself to forget everything. This was all he wanted.
George gently broke the kiss with a sigh, pulling away to take Lucci's hand and tug him toward one of the benches lining the room.
Lucci followed, sitting down on a bench. He was starting to think he should just never talk again.
George leaned in to kiss Lucci again, softly, almost like a question.
Lucci kissed back harder than he'd intended, but didn't let up. He was through with holding back.
George made a small noise into the kiss, pleased, and kissed back with just as much force.
This didn't come remotely close to fixing everything, but it certainly made Lucci feel better. He ran his hands over George's back, kissing her deeper.
George moved closer, forcing Lucci to lean back against the back of the bench as they kissed, just wanting to be closer, wanting to forget.
Lucci hesitated for a moment, a little unsure of everything he was doing at this point, and then pulled George forward onto his lap.
George climbed into his lap without hesitation, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and deepening the kiss, her heartbeat loud in her ears.
Lucci had to remind himself to breathe. They'd done this once before, but it hadn't really been anything like this. He put his arms around George's waist and nipped at her lower lip.
George made another noise into the kiss, tightening her hold on him, as if it would anchor her in the moment.
The part of Lucci's brain that was trying to convince him this was a bad idea had given up. What little conscience he had could take a beating if it meant he got to kiss George some more.
George broke the kiss gently and trailed a line of kisses along his jaw before nibbling lightly at his earlobe.
Lucci's breath hitched a little at that. He ran his hands through George's hair and over her back, wondering at the way that just being this close to her made his heart want to beat out of his chest.
George moved to bury her face in to crook of Lucci's neck, placing soft, open-mouthed kisses there, really hoping that this was making him feel better, like it was for her.
Lucci swallowed hard, hands bunching up in the back of George's shirt. He turned his face toward George's hair. She smelled good.
Sucking lightly at Lucci's pulse point, George let the fingers of both hands wander into his hair, scratching lightly at his scalp, almost reveling in being able to touch him like this.
That felt...really good. Lucci closed his eyes and sighed, wishing he could get closer than this.
George sighed too, just holding him and being held for a moment, wishing she could melt into him.
Lucci had always liked how they didn't really have to talk. He could never express his feelings adequately through words anyway. He leaned down to press his lips against the side of George's neck.
George shivered lightly, tilting her head a little more and pressing her fingers further into Lucci's hair, mind blissfully blank except for this.
Lucci kissed her again and again, much the same way she'd done for him, and wrapped his arms around her waist a little tighter.
George's breath picked up as he kissed her and she moved her hands down along Lucci's neck and over his shoulders, tracing down the well defined lines of his arms.
"...I love you," Lucci said quietly. He immediately felt stupid for speaking, but didn't say anything else.
George tightened her hands on Lucci's biceps. "I love you too," she almost sighed.
This was probably the first time George had said that that Lucci was able to force himself not to feel anything but happy about it. It took effort, but he managed. He kissed George's neck again.
George lifted her head, and lifted Lucci's chin with a light touch, brushing her lips lightly against his, teasing.
Lucci kissed her more softly than the first time, almost as if by accident.
George smiled against Lucci's lips, kissing him again, just as softly.
Lucci made a soft noise, almost a purr, and kissed back with just a little more pressure.
George liked that noise. She equaled Lucci's pressure, letting him keep complete control over the kiss for the moment.
Lucci completely understood why George liked this so much now. He started to purr almost inaudibly.
"Mmm," George hummed into the kiss, breaking it softly. "Good kitty," she said, before kissing him again.
Lucci chuckled a little and purred louder, kissing back.
George pulled away a little to look at Lucci's face. She was unable to keep a small smile off her lips, feeling better in this moment than she had in weeks.
George's smile was infectious. Lucci found himself returning it, and leaned in to rest his forehead against hers.
"You're a really good kisser," George said after a long moment of silence, her smile widening.
Lucci ran his fingers through her hair some more. "Thank you. So are you."
George brought a hand up to either side of Lucci's face, just holding it gently. "Thanks."
Lucci reached up to take George's hands in his own, bringing them down so he could kiss the back of her hand.
George flushed lightly, threading her fingers with his.
"I'm sorry I made you upset," Lucci said quietly, looking down at George's hands.
George shook her head. "I'm sorry I made you upset."
Lucci sighed. "We're not very good at being happy, are we?"
"Terrible," George said, squeezing his hands. "But it's better now, right?"
"Mmhm." Lucci kissed her hand again. "Much."
George smiled. "Good," she said., leaning in to nuzzle her nose against his.
Lucci smirked and kissed her again.
George kissed back, letting her eyes flutter closed, lips parting of their own accord.
Lucci let his tongue slip into George's mouth, hands drifting up over her arms.
George placed her hands flat against Lucci's chest and leaned into him, letting her tongue move softly against his.
This was a relief. Lucci was sick of talking about things. Talking wasn't helping anything, but this he knew how to do.
George pressed herself closer to him, hands sliding slowly over the planes of his chest.
Lucci nipped softly at George's lower lip, letting his hands drop to rest on her legs.
George kissed Lucci a little harder, making a small noise that indicated impatience.
Lucci didn't know what George wanted, and he was afraid to make a move in case it turned out to be the wrong one. He kissed her back just as hard, letting his fingers flex a little against her thighs.
George knew what she wanted, but also knew that even this was probably going a little too far, considering the situation. Unless she made her decision right now, that was, but she still cared way too much about Usopp to do that. Especially so soon. But for now, George pushed that thought away and concentrated on kissing Lucci. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders again, holding him tightly and pressing her body to his.
Lucci had a good idea what George wanted now. He was pretty sure it was similar to what he wanted, but...that was a bad idea on multiple levels and he knew it. Not that it had ever stopped him before, but he knew better this time. Reluctantly, he put his hands back up on George's shoulders.
George broke the kiss again and rested her forehead against his, breathing slightly heavier than before. She didn't say anything for a moment, eyes still closed, wanting to push this further and knowing she shouldn't.
All of Lucci's nerves were crackling, but he managed to keep his breathing under control. He ran his fingers through George's hair again. That was kind of addictive. He really liked her hair.
George made a small, frustrated noise and tightened her arms around him. "I want..." she said softly.
Lucci had to close his eyes at that. "...Me too."
George leaned forward to rest her cheek against his. "I'm sorry," she nearly whispered.
"...It's okay," Lucci said, just as quietly.
"No it's not," George said, sighing heavily.
Lucci smirked ruefully. "Maybe not."
George idly ran her fingers along the back of Lucci's neck. "I don't know how to fix this," she said, helplessly.
"Neither do I," Lucci sighed.
"But I love you," she said, sounding very small.
Lucci took a breath, stopped, and looked away.
George bit her lip. Maybe she shouldn't have said that. "...should I leave now?"
Lucci didn't know what to say to that. "...I don't want you to. Whether you should is a different matter." But he tightened his arms around her back, just a little.
"I don't want to either," George said. She paused for a moment. "This whole thing is almost as bad as dying."
"That bad?" Lucci had that sunken, twisted feeling in the pit of his stomach again.
"Worse in some ways. Dying only takes a second and then you deal with it."
Lucci took a breath to speak again, but gave up and looked away. "...I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. All you did was love me," George said, tightening her hands on the back of his neck.
Lucci didn't know how to respond to that. He kissed George again.
George kissed him back, inhaling sharply through her nose. she wished this didn't feel so right, because it wasn't. Not right now, anyway.
After a long moment, Lucci pulled back. He swallowed and looked away. "Okay," he said softly. "...I think I'm going to go now."
George just nodded, crawling back out of his lap a little awkwardly.
Lucci stood up. He didn't want to leave without saying something, but he didn't know what to say. Hesitant, he reached out and brushed his knuckles against George's cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"
George looked up at him and searched his eyes for a moment before nodding and looking back down at the floor. At least things seemed to be...a little better than they'd been before. She hoped. "Tomorrow," she said.
Lucci didn't try to smile, knowing that it wouldn't look right. He nodded, waited a moment longer, and then headed for the door.
George sat back down on the bench and watched him go, knowing that the moment he closed the door behind him she was going to go straighe for the liquor cabinet. She hoped she hadn't just complicated things, but knowing her luck, and the way this situation seemed to get more tangled every day, her hopes weren't high.