alot of bad and good at the same time
Well, me and staci are over as of now. I fuckin hate it, i wanted things to work out with someone for once. Its very very very hard for me to be just friends because i just want to be mean and tell her off. i feel like i'm not good enough for her and she's just telling me in a nice way (if possible). i really like her, but it sucks when someone doesn't feel the same. she said she wants to be friends and she wont look for other guys, she says she wants me to get my shit together, i was just hoping she'd be a bit understanding but it doesn't feel like it. I want to work and be productive but that's about the hardest think to get during a recession. I am a ex-con with no job skills and a fucked up record, but she makes it sound like i dont want to get better and want to drag her down. Well other than that, i have been applying for food stamps/ssi/everything really. i got approved for cash assistance and foodstamps. i may get medicaid (much needed) which i need badly due to prolonged injuries from previous fights. I have been going around with very messed up knocked loose teeth and have no glasses also. I am in line to get job traiining and possibly get vocational rehabilitation services (which is good). Hell, Jersey is the perfect place to get my shit together, ohio wouldnt give me shit and they acted like i dont deserve shit. i will utilize every tool to my use and succeed. It hurts when people don't believe in you...doesn't it? I mean, my parents doubt me, my family, and at times friends do too. They said jersey would be a curse, but it may be a blessing in disguise. Besides i've got through worse times in my life, i know i will get ahead, and i believe that i will not always be in the gutter. As long as i keep believing it, and staying out of trouble (which i have) everything will fall into place.