Jerry Springer Legion
I have another confession to make. I was once part of the Jerry Springer Legions.
Oh no, never on the show, god forbid. That's [i]rule number 47. Never get involved with anyone that has been on Springer. Run away. Fast. [/i]
I'm living my life displaced right as a stay at home house wife would. I've got 70 days of vacation, and nobody to beat or screw, no place I give a shit about going, except hunting and eastern Washington for awhile in my pick'em up truck.
So here is the day...
I get all my chores done first thing in the morning then hang out in my p.j.'s and watch TV, surf the net. Then Jerry Springer comes on, and I honestly thought he was OFF the air, had been banned or something. I'd lived in Japan for over two years, and hadn't watched any daytime TV in forever.
When I worked mids, and it first came on the air we used to have parties when Springer was on. We were rabid fans.
"Hey DUDE, it's so cool my life is not THAT FUCKED UP!". Our motto was, you had to be a moron to go on the Springer show. I was watching Jerry, and Maury and all that crap yesterday. How do people function with this crap pumped into their brains?
How the fuck do people go up there and do this to themselves, the cheating and the insanity lives they live?
Well not only am I a fan, I could have been a member. I got the phone call on a Sunday. That is what was so weird about it, caught me off guard. I figured it was another telemarketer. "Hello, Mr. Deadeye?"
"Yeah, I'm not interested"while I sat on the sofa scratching my nuts on a fine Sunday morning...then,"wait wait wait, we aren't selling anythign just a moment of your time for the Jerry..."
I twitched so bad, the spasm was so violent the phone didn't go back on the receiver (tells you how long ago, the phone went on a RECEIVER!) and lattered to the phone. I could hear, as if in a long far off distant dream.."Hello, Mr. Deadeye, are you ok, are you there?"
I dunno why, but I picked up the phone. "Yeah, I'm here. Did you say the Springer Show?" I waited as my heart had stopped beating.
"Yes I did, we'd like to ask a few questions, about your relationships with X, Y, and Z. Maybe talk to you about flying out as a guest.
I think I had something along the lines of a anuerisym or a heartattack thing or something. I hadn't heard those names in almost 8 years. A part of my life I had turned my back on and had gone into the Navy to make it all go away. The second, after almost two years of conditioning, the very IDEA of being on Jerry Springer
sent death like chills down my spine.
"No, I won't do it. No fucking way!" I gasped, finally taking air into my lungs.
"But sir, will you answer a few questions?" the women pleaded form arms length where I held the phone like it was the alien from Sigourney Weavers belly.
"Why? How told you to call? How DID you get this number, it's unlisted isn't it?" I think I was pleading now.
"No sir, it's not. We have been talking to Miss X about the POLL EEE AM OUR Usssss relationship you had wiht her, Miss Y, and Miss Z." She dragged the word ployamourous out like she was trying to speak a foreign languge, and her hed couldnt' get used to what it meant in English.
"Well it wasn't just the four of us you know. Besides she is so full of shit, you won't get any straight story from her. One thing is certain, I sure ain't going on no dayum Jerry Springer show!" I looked at the phone like it was a scorpion that had stung me. I was talking like one of them now. Fuck.
"Mr. Deadeye could you at least substantiate soem of what we were told, and maybe provide some reference and let us know where we could find Ms. Z the artist fromerly known as Ms. Deadeye."
It took me an hour to get off the phone. Between the borderline psychotic episode this brought on, and hearing THAT cunt's side of the story, I damn near took up the offer to go back east and be on the show. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. My fairly new bride knew I'd been ultra kinky, but all those details, and from those women THIER side of the story? She would have left and taken our firstborn with her. I would have deserved it.
I watched that show like a hawk. Nervous. Standing around the corner of the doorway at my friends when they introduced guests, just waiting. For some reason, the show never aired. Thank you Jeeesus!
Was it my fault? Did I prevent the gals from being Jerry Springer fodder? It would have BEEN a nightmare, a total catastrophic nightmare.
I was living with Ms. Z she was my primary partner. Mrs, Y was with he rhusband Mr. Y, and Ms. X was fucking all of us, and we were fucking and playing with eachother,together, apart, all the time. Sometimes we would live under the same roof for days, and then end up at the other couples house. The girls would go out for girls night out, and come home with young innocents we would corrupt and such. There were the brother and sister couple, the grandma lesbians, the gal I picked up in the bar that squirted all over, the list goes on and on...we were insatiable. That went on for just under 3 years...the stories..and some of what went on, would have been PRIME Jerry fodder, because I think at some point after I extracted myself from the relationship, Ms. X was out and about in town very pregnant, or so I heard. Ms. X is a story in her own rights, at some other point, she was an olympic class athelete, and she fucked like a machine. Just never was as kinky as Ms. Z and I.
We had so many people going through our bedrooms, anyone's guess would have been as good as yours.
I never ended up on the show, and I never will. What people do to each other going on those things? It's like watching a train wreck, even though it's so wrong, so disrespectful and vile. I still sit there and watch it, fascinated that anyone can do that, and THANKFUL that my life is so plain and simple and ordinary now.
The byline that caught my eye, made me belly laugh and choke damn near to death on my lime diet coke...
[b] AN hour of your life you will never get back [/b]
Not want to if you go there *chuckles*
Oh no, never on the show, god forbid. That's [i]rule number 47. Never get involved with anyone that has been on Springer. Run away. Fast. [/i]
I'm living my life displaced right as a stay at home house wife would. I've got 70 days of vacation, and nobody to beat or screw, no place I give a shit about going, except hunting and eastern Washington for awhile in my pick'em up truck.
So here is the day...
I get all my chores done first thing in the morning then hang out in my p.j.'s and watch TV, surf the net. Then Jerry Springer comes on, and I honestly thought he was OFF the air, had been banned or something. I'd lived in Japan for over two years, and hadn't watched any daytime TV in forever.
When I worked mids, and it first came on the air we used to have parties when Springer was on. We were rabid fans.
"Hey DUDE, it's so cool my life is not THAT FUCKED UP!". Our motto was, you had to be a moron to go on the Springer show. I was watching Jerry, and Maury and all that crap yesterday. How do people function with this crap pumped into their brains?
How the fuck do people go up there and do this to themselves, the cheating and the insanity lives they live?
Well not only am I a fan, I could have been a member. I got the phone call on a Sunday. That is what was so weird about it, caught me off guard. I figured it was another telemarketer. "Hello, Mr. Deadeye?"
"Yeah, I'm not interested"while I sat on the sofa scratching my nuts on a fine Sunday morning...then,"wait wait wait, we aren't selling anythign just a moment of your time for the Jerry..."
I twitched so bad, the spasm was so violent the phone didn't go back on the receiver (tells you how long ago, the phone went on a RECEIVER!) and lattered to the phone. I could hear, as if in a long far off distant dream.."Hello, Mr. Deadeye, are you ok, are you there?"
I dunno why, but I picked up the phone. "Yeah, I'm here. Did you say the Springer Show?" I waited as my heart had stopped beating.
"Yes I did, we'd like to ask a few questions, about your relationships with X, Y, and Z. Maybe talk to you about flying out as a guest.
I think I had something along the lines of a anuerisym or a heartattack thing or something. I hadn't heard those names in almost 8 years. A part of my life I had turned my back on and had gone into the Navy to make it all go away. The second, after almost two years of conditioning, the very IDEA of being on Jerry Springer
sent death like chills down my spine.
"No, I won't do it. No fucking way!" I gasped, finally taking air into my lungs.
"But sir, will you answer a few questions?" the women pleaded form arms length where I held the phone like it was the alien from Sigourney Weavers belly.
"Why? How told you to call? How DID you get this number, it's unlisted isn't it?" I think I was pleading now.
"No sir, it's not. We have been talking to Miss X about the POLL EEE AM OUR Usssss relationship you had wiht her, Miss Y, and Miss Z." She dragged the word ployamourous out like she was trying to speak a foreign languge, and her hed couldnt' get used to what it meant in English.
"Well it wasn't just the four of us you know. Besides she is so full of shit, you won't get any straight story from her. One thing is certain, I sure ain't going on no dayum Jerry Springer show!" I looked at the phone like it was a scorpion that had stung me. I was talking like one of them now. Fuck.
"Mr. Deadeye could you at least substantiate soem of what we were told, and maybe provide some reference and let us know where we could find Ms. Z the artist fromerly known as Ms. Deadeye."
It took me an hour to get off the phone. Between the borderline psychotic episode this brought on, and hearing THAT cunt's side of the story, I damn near took up the offer to go back east and be on the show. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. My fairly new bride knew I'd been ultra kinky, but all those details, and from those women THIER side of the story? She would have left and taken our firstborn with her. I would have deserved it.
I watched that show like a hawk. Nervous. Standing around the corner of the doorway at my friends when they introduced guests, just waiting. For some reason, the show never aired. Thank you Jeeesus!
Was it my fault? Did I prevent the gals from being Jerry Springer fodder? It would have BEEN a nightmare, a total catastrophic nightmare.
I was living with Ms. Z she was my primary partner. Mrs, Y was with he rhusband Mr. Y, and Ms. X was fucking all of us, and we were fucking and playing with eachother,together, apart, all the time. Sometimes we would live under the same roof for days, and then end up at the other couples house. The girls would go out for girls night out, and come home with young innocents we would corrupt and such. There were the brother and sister couple, the grandma lesbians, the gal I picked up in the bar that squirted all over, the list goes on and on...we were insatiable. That went on for just under 3 years...the stories..and some of what went on, would have been PRIME Jerry fodder, because I think at some point after I extracted myself from the relationship, Ms. X was out and about in town very pregnant, or so I heard. Ms. X is a story in her own rights, at some other point, she was an olympic class athelete, and she fucked like a machine. Just never was as kinky as Ms. Z and I.
We had so many people going through our bedrooms, anyone's guess would have been as good as yours.
I never ended up on the show, and I never will. What people do to each other going on those things? It's like watching a train wreck, even though it's so wrong, so disrespectful and vile. I still sit there and watch it, fascinated that anyone can do that, and THANKFUL that my life is so plain and simple and ordinary now.
The byline that caught my eye, made me belly laugh and choke damn near to death on my lime diet coke...
[b] AN hour of your life you will never get back [/b]
Not want to if you go there *chuckles*