Anybody else notice I swear more when I'm upset?
Ok, I have serious issues. I set these high fucking standards for myself, and when I don't achieve them, it devastates me. See,I didn't get in to NHS because I didn't have enough service hours. I was dealing pretty good with that until I found out that I did get into French NHS, so I have to go to the ceremony and be the only fucking Junior there not being inducted into NHS. I'm not doing it. It took all I had not to burst into tears during the practice thing today, there's no way that I can hold it together throughout the whole ceremony tomorrow. I'm going to have to make up some excuse to tell Madame about why I won't be able to make it. I don't have any clue why I'm so fucking upset about this. I mean, I've basically been either on the verge of tears or crying since about 2:30 today. That's not normal. Even I can see that. I think its because I care so much about my school work, and I put some much effort into it, that I feel like I'm somehow inferior because I won't be recognized for it. Maybe I'm overreacting, and maybe I'm a fucking lunatic crybaby, but I feel like fucking shit. I mean, I'm seriously crying so hard right now that I can barely see what I'm typing. Sorry that this probably makes no fucking sense and is horribly written, but I just had to vent about this shit.