My cousin is a hippy.
I am embarrassed to admit that I share genes with someone who is anything less that perfect, but alas it is true. My cousin Alison is a idiot, or more specifically an extremely liberal hippy vegetarian hypocrite, who does drugs, dates a guy 6 years older than her, and probably summons Lucifer for kicks on the weekend.
That’s actually an exaggeration; I think the boyfriend is only 5 years older than her.
Well anyway, it was during a post Christmas celebration with my extended family that Alison and my Uncle Paul (who is actually a cool guy, if a bad parent, he needs to talk less and bitchslap more) made an appearance. Of course my father (who kicks ass) and I have to poke fun at the haughty bitch after she made a big fuss about being a vegetarian and thinking that all of us are evil because we are going to be eating lamb. So my dad in his infinite wisdom begins to talk about hunting using such colorful expressions as “blowing their brains out” and getting rather descriptive with the language. So Alison throws down her tofu burger and runs out of the room, and we get lectured for ruining Christmas. Stupid hippy can’t take a joke, so she can kiss my ass.
The thing that’s even funnier is that Alison’s sister Emily is even more of a hippy vegetarian than she is (and a lesbian too if that matters), but fortunately she is also the wiser of the two, she just stopped talking to us or visiting for holidays.
That’s actually an exaggeration; I think the boyfriend is only 5 years older than her.
Well anyway, it was during a post Christmas celebration with my extended family that Alison and my Uncle Paul (who is actually a cool guy, if a bad parent, he needs to talk less and bitchslap more) made an appearance. Of course my father (who kicks ass) and I have to poke fun at the haughty bitch after she made a big fuss about being a vegetarian and thinking that all of us are evil because we are going to be eating lamb. So my dad in his infinite wisdom begins to talk about hunting using such colorful expressions as “blowing their brains out” and getting rather descriptive with the language. So Alison throws down her tofu burger and runs out of the room, and we get lectured for ruining Christmas. Stupid hippy can’t take a joke, so she can kiss my ass.
The thing that’s even funnier is that Alison’s sister Emily is even more of a hippy vegetarian than she is (and a lesbian too if that matters), but fortunately she is also the wiser of the two, she just stopped talking to us or visiting for holidays.