One white fan on "showing your ass"
Dear Fandom,
There’s a phrase I’ve learned recently that I quite like: “To show your ass.” Urban Dictionary defines it as, “To act like a complete idiot.” So-and-so says something colossally stupid and insulting, and someone else, describing the incident, says, “So-and-so needs to stop showing her ass.”
There are lots of people in fandom who don’t want to engage in conversations about racism because it’s uncomfortable for them to do so. I honestly have a lot of empathy for them. I used to be the same way. When I encounter these people, I try to explore their discomfort, and I suggest that the discomfort may be worth it if, at the other side of that discomfort, lies new understandings and a refined ability to fight injustice. Sometimes they are persuaded, and will begin to tentatively engage. Sometimes they are not persuaded, and remain silent. That’s their choice.
Unfortunately, there are also people who don’t want to engage in conversations about racism because if they do, the big scary POCs will be mean to them. The big mean POCs will say, “That’s racist.” The big mean POCs will say, “That’s stupid.” The big mean POCs will post image macros that say, “Oops! Your privilege is showing.” The big mean POCs will express frustration that they are once again encountering a given perspective. Oh, and by the way, once upon a time, someone said that white people should “shut up.” Obviously, there is no way to engage in conversations about racism; they will just get shouted down; they might as well say nothing; they’ll withdraw from the conversation altogether, which is what those people want them to do anyway.
Here’s the thing. When I say, “So-and-so needs to stop showing her ass,” I don’t mean, “So-and-so should stay inside her house and never allow people to lay eyes on her because she's an incorrigible human being.” I mean, “So-and-so needs to put on some goddamn pants.”
In other words, I don’t want you to bite your tongue to avoid saying stupid, racist shit. I want you to stop believing the stupid, racist shit that you said. When I say, “You just said some stupid, racist shit,” I am not trying to silence you. I am trying to point out the fact that you have no goddamn pants on. My hope is that you will look down, realize that your ass is hanging out, go back inside your house for a minute, find some pants, put them on, and then come out into the light of day to continue having a friendly conversation with me. Hopefully about porn, or literary criticism, or any of the other delightful interests we may have in common.
I understand that it may be difficult for you to accept that you have been walking around in public with the most intimate and perhaps unbecoming parts of yourself exposed. It happens to the best of us. I still show my ass sometimes. But when people alert me to the issue? I am grateful. Especially if they’re angry. Because, wow, my ass must really be bothering them. I’d better dig up some corduroys.
- lottelita
No offense intended to nudists.
There’s a phrase I’ve learned recently that I quite like: “To show your ass.” Urban Dictionary defines it as, “To act like a complete idiot.” So-and-so says something colossally stupid and insulting, and someone else, describing the incident, says, “So-and-so needs to stop showing her ass.”
There are lots of people in fandom who don’t want to engage in conversations about racism because it’s uncomfortable for them to do so. I honestly have a lot of empathy for them. I used to be the same way. When I encounter these people, I try to explore their discomfort, and I suggest that the discomfort may be worth it if, at the other side of that discomfort, lies new understandings and a refined ability to fight injustice. Sometimes they are persuaded, and will begin to tentatively engage. Sometimes they are not persuaded, and remain silent. That’s their choice.
Unfortunately, there are also people who don’t want to engage in conversations about racism because if they do, the big scary POCs will be mean to them. The big mean POCs will say, “That’s racist.” The big mean POCs will say, “That’s stupid.” The big mean POCs will post image macros that say, “Oops! Your privilege is showing.” The big mean POCs will express frustration that they are once again encountering a given perspective. Oh, and by the way, once upon a time, someone said that white people should “shut up.” Obviously, there is no way to engage in conversations about racism; they will just get shouted down; they might as well say nothing; they’ll withdraw from the conversation altogether, which is what those people want them to do anyway.
Here’s the thing. When I say, “So-and-so needs to stop showing her ass,” I don’t mean, “So-and-so should stay inside her house and never allow people to lay eyes on her because she's an incorrigible human being.” I mean, “So-and-so needs to put on some goddamn pants.”
In other words, I don’t want you to bite your tongue to avoid saying stupid, racist shit. I want you to stop believing the stupid, racist shit that you said. When I say, “You just said some stupid, racist shit,” I am not trying to silence you. I am trying to point out the fact that you have no goddamn pants on. My hope is that you will look down, realize that your ass is hanging out, go back inside your house for a minute, find some pants, put them on, and then come out into the light of day to continue having a friendly conversation with me. Hopefully about porn, or literary criticism, or any of the other delightful interests we may have in common.
I understand that it may be difficult for you to accept that you have been walking around in public with the most intimate and perhaps unbecoming parts of yourself exposed. It happens to the best of us. I still show my ass sometimes. But when people alert me to the issue? I am grateful. Especially if they’re angry. Because, wow, my ass must really be bothering them. I’d better dig up some corduroys.
- lottelita
No offense intended to nudists.