the only thing i miss more than you right now, is us just being friends.
i'm not apologizing.
i'm not sorry.
funny mood. even if it wasnt the mood. i'm still not sorry.
i'm tired of holding my tongue. i'm tired of not being able to vent like i want because i'm worried about hurting peoples feelings. i'm tired of wondering if what i say will get you mad. so i dont talk to you. cause all you do is bitch and complain and whine. and though i love you more than you could know, i dont feel like hearing you complain anymore.
do you ever hear me complain about distance? no. do you ever hear me whine about how much i want to see you? no. do you ever hear me say EVERY FOUR MINUTES i want you to come visit me? no. because i cant come visit you. because i dont have the money to. because i dont have a JOB at the moment because i'm not at home to GET a job. because i've been trying to do something and havent been able to.
so FUCK YOU.
if you want to see me so bad take time off from work when you get out of school and come down here. dont give me bullshit about you cant because you dont get time. you get time off from school. you have a job and money so i know you could if you wanted to. you can take time off work. you just dont see that as a possibility. so dont fucking rag me about visiting you because I CANT.
and you arent the only one who's life is shit right now. the other person you whine to hasn't been feeling all to great either. do you ever stop complaining to talk to her about her problems? i bet you dont. do you ever stop whining to ask how she's been doing and NOT end up talking about yourself?? i bet you dont. you should though. because its hurting her. it's hurting her like you wouldn't believe.
and i'm not sorry for this. i'm tired of being sorry for you. i'm not.
i'm not gonna talk to you until we can actually talk. i dont want to hear about how much you missed me in the day because i've missed you the same and it doesnt seem like it for a reason. i want to "talk" to you. not about missing me. just about normal shit. like if we weren't together.
i just realized we haven't had a normal conversation since we've been together. why? because we usually always end up talking about you. because thats all we can talk about.
and this rant is dying because my angry is fading away. i dont want it to. i want to say everything i feel right now because i wont have the balls to do this again. because i'll go back to caring. and dont give me shit about how i dont have to care because i know i dont. so fuck you and fuck off. i care because it makes me happy. but it also stresses me the fuck out. cant have all good with no bad.
i think i told you my relationships dont last long before. i think i told you i dont do the long distance thing because they dont work. and i'm proving myself right. even though you said they dont work either. i also told you i didnt want to love. but we cant always have what we want.
times like these i miss being depressed because of family...
...times like these i miss being alone
i'm not sorry.
funny mood. even if it wasnt the mood. i'm still not sorry.
i'm tired of holding my tongue. i'm tired of not being able to vent like i want because i'm worried about hurting peoples feelings. i'm tired of wondering if what i say will get you mad. so i dont talk to you. cause all you do is bitch and complain and whine. and though i love you more than you could know, i dont feel like hearing you complain anymore.
do you ever hear me complain about distance? no. do you ever hear me whine about how much i want to see you? no. do you ever hear me say EVERY FOUR MINUTES i want you to come visit me? no. because i cant come visit you. because i dont have the money to. because i dont have a JOB at the moment because i'm not at home to GET a job. because i've been trying to do something and havent been able to.
so FUCK YOU.
if you want to see me so bad take time off from work when you get out of school and come down here. dont give me bullshit about you cant because you dont get time. you get time off from school. you have a job and money so i know you could if you wanted to. you can take time off work. you just dont see that as a possibility. so dont fucking rag me about visiting you because I CANT.
and you arent the only one who's life is shit right now. the other person you whine to hasn't been feeling all to great either. do you ever stop complaining to talk to her about her problems? i bet you dont. do you ever stop whining to ask how she's been doing and NOT end up talking about yourself?? i bet you dont. you should though. because its hurting her. it's hurting her like you wouldn't believe.
and i'm not sorry for this. i'm tired of being sorry for you. i'm not.
i'm not gonna talk to you until we can actually talk. i dont want to hear about how much you missed me in the day because i've missed you the same and it doesnt seem like it for a reason. i want to "talk" to you. not about missing me. just about normal shit. like if we weren't together.
i just realized we haven't had a normal conversation since we've been together. why? because we usually always end up talking about you. because thats all we can talk about.
and this rant is dying because my angry is fading away. i dont want it to. i want to say everything i feel right now because i wont have the balls to do this again. because i'll go back to caring. and dont give me shit about how i dont have to care because i know i dont. so fuck you and fuck off. i care because it makes me happy. but it also stresses me the fuck out. cant have all good with no bad.
i think i told you my relationships dont last long before. i think i told you i dont do the long distance thing because they dont work. and i'm proving myself right. even though you said they dont work either. i also told you i didnt want to love. but we cant always have what we want.
times like these i miss being depressed because of family...
...times like these i miss being alone