Yaoi-Con 2005 Report
Yaoicon 2005 Con Report - For Justice!
Thursday:
Well, more like Wednesday night/Thursday morning, but I digress.
After tormenting my underlings with the fact that I was ditching them for a week and getting paid for it, I literally clocked out and got a ride straight to McCarran from a friend. Got on the plane, and much to my consternation, fell asleep on the flight. Damn travel anxiety didn't kick in when it was supposed to, dammit. Now it looks like I'm losing my rep as a basket case on a plane. Fucker.
At this point, I'd like to note that SFO is a damned comfortable airport. Actual padded seats. I'm jealous. Vegas, are you letting that drag queen outdo us? Lazy hussy.
Got to the hotel, checked in, and watched a little television while I cleaned myself up from the flight and pondered going out to get food. So I stumble out of the Clarion, get my bearings, and meander down towards the grocery store for food that doesn't cost an arm and a leg to purchase.
I really, honestly was going to try and hit Alcatraz and whatnot, but my sleep schedule for grave fucked me over. I was too tired to do much more than shower, get some food in my stomach, and overdose on Law & Order, The New Detectives, and anything ghost-related for a few hours before Jamie arrived.
Around 9pm or so, Jamie walked in the door, and there was much rejoicing. Or something like that. :) We hung out in the room for the rest of the evening, talking, watching more Law & Order and MythBusters.
And slept.
And this is the most interesting part.
Friday morning:
"I think I called you Jean-Luc Picard."
"Huh?"
Jamie apparently rolled over in the night and first called me, "Jean-Claude Van Damme," but that was wrong, and she corrected herself and called me "Jean-Luc Picard." Alright then. An auspicious start to the day, honest.
Only in our room.
Anyways, we get up at 4am because neither of us can really sleep, and at some point, we end up getting decent and walking over to the Bayfront Park which, as you may have guessed, is right on the bay. Cookie for you if you didn't have to guess.
The seagull with the attitude problem.
Then we promptly got lost. Technically I was the one leading, but hey, we know where the Benihana's is now just in case.
Eventually, we did make it to Albertson's to pick up food. Go us. We are the epitome of millions of years of hunting and gathering, ladies and gentlemen. Behold, the magic of evolution.
Originally, we were to meet up with Nuriko, Seeress, and Saendie around 1:00pm, but then the entire fucking UCLA football team marched into the lobby. They had a game with Stanford that weekend.
Finally, when I was able to meet up with the three of them, we piled into Nuriko's car (had to sit on Saendie's lap) for yet another trip to Albertson's for yet more food. I really didn't need anything else the rest of the weekend.
So we get ready and go register, and Jamie begins the joy of volunteering, leaving me to my own devices as I go to the opening ceremonies. Again, damn, Shiki's hot in a skirt and thigh highs, but I digress.
Afterwards, that's when things got fun.
I hung around registration with Jamie and JunkeeMonky, who had a jar with a rubber fetus on it sitting on the table. Obviously, people walking by us to get their badges or go to the video room would occasionally stop and ask, "What's that?"
"A fetus," JM answered.
"We're very pro-choice," I added.
Then I got carded by Bi-boy. "Are you even old enough to be at this con?"
I swear creatively and start pulling out my wallet to show my ID. I'm 25, dammit. Although this will come in handy when I'm 40.
Also, a Cloud we happened to like.
After that, I believe that's when IT started.
You know.
First. Jamie found a pair of scissors, and we just happened to have a pile of gold-colored paper on the table in front of us. She cut out a little 'puddle' and placed it on the floor. "Someone peed on the carpet!"
Then she decided to cut out a paper penis. Big Bird's, if I remember correctly. We then had to circumsize the penis. I recall something about threatening her and not allowing her to circumsize it. Eventually we had a paper penis, a puddle of spooge, and little droplets. Then she wrote 'bukkake' on it. I grabbed the pen and added 'I' and 'For Justice!'.
Hence, the 'I bukkake for justice!' piece was born. Here, our lovely volunteer, Christoph, models it for us.
And what the hell. Why not?
Spank the Youji!
We ended Friday by heading back up to the room and eating dinner. Mmm, Thai rice noodles and ramen.
And then came...
Saturday:
Again, we woke insanely early and had breakfast in the room. After that, we got into costume. Jamie's was nice and easy. So was mine to a point.
I ironed my suit and shirt and put them on, put in my contacts (on the first try no less. go me.) and put my hair up under the wig cap and pinned it. Then I wrangled the wig on with about ten to fifteen pins.
Then I headed for the dealers' room.
It was a literal pornucopia.
And they took Visa.
Cue the screams from my bank account.
I made my first runthrough and grabbed about half of the doujinshi that I actually went home with. Some Devil May Cry (I love Fire House) but mostly FMA. The Saiyuki section was relegated to mostly Sanzo-focused doujinshi. Bah. I finished up quickly there and headed for the Intro to Saiyuki/Kazuya Minekura panel.
They were talking about Wild Adapter when I went in, too, so my costume went over real well with them. The moderator was dressed as Hazel from Saiyuki Reload Gunlock.
News that I learned from the panel:
Salty Dog 4 art book comes out this winter as does the next chapter of Gaiden. Mr. Bunny dies a horrible 'death' as Nii leaves the Empress to become Ukoku Sanzo again.
Then they went around and asked, "Who's your favorite OTP?" Resoundingly? Gojyo/Hakkai. I sensed an opportunity, so I pimped smokeandglass.net like the good little sitewench that I am. While I wrote it on the board though, the first of many molestations of my jacket began. People really loved that damned thing as hot as it was. Not like I should complain with all the groping I received because of it. *whistles innocently*
Afterwards, we did a mini-Minekura photoshoot in the corner of one of the sitting areas.
See? I told you they wanted me for my jacket.
Incidentally, we discussed a possible gathering of Sanzos for next year i.e. Koumyou Sanzo, Genjyo Sanzo, Ukoku Sanzo, Kami-sama, etc. And the Hazel showed the picture of the Viva Las Vegas!Hazel picture (think hot pants, thigh-high boots, feather boa, etc) and said that someone skinny would have to do that. I perked and said, "Well, I'm skinny..."
Yep. So a Hazel costume for next year. Oh dear.
Afterwards, I headed back to the dealers' room for a second go-round, and I bought yet more doujinshi. Saw a Munich!Ed plushie I would have liked to have gotten, but I only had one suitcase on me and limited space as it was.
I also nabbed a picture of a Swordfish from Under Grand Hotel. Apparently, she's with the Nakama scanlation group, and I'm thinking of seeing what's going on with them since I need to work on my translation skills.
And back to the room with me although not without a detour for a small photo op with nurikochan and saendie along with Nuriko's twin, Seeress, and Leloi from Gaia.
Seeress as Gwendal, Saendie as Wolfram, and Nuriko as Gunter of Kyou Kara Maou! (Which I really need to catch up on, lazy ass that I am.)
Leloi in Battle Royale gear and Nuriko as Gunter (like she magically changed from the last photo, I know.).
Then Jamie and I got the bright idea to grab the deck of Uno cards and play a game right by the meeting rooms in the Clarion. The line for the AMV contest literally formed around us, and we took it upon ourselves to entertain the crowd.
I grabbed this picture of a Kimberly (gardensgnome):
And she grabbed this one of me:
So, yes, I was the one announcing photo ops, tipping, etc. Little did I know that about four or five people were going to actually take photos of me like that. Ah, well. There went my chances at a political career, folks.
And before the cosplay contest...
The official explanation for this is that I had a spot on the shoulder of my jacket, and Efreet (aka junkeemonky) was helping me clean it off. That's it. Honest.
All went smoothly, I'd say. Of course, not everyone picked up on the Under the Glass Moon costumes that JM and her partner did of Efreet and Undine. Jamie and I were standby for boob readjustment since they rather had enormous tracts of land, so to speak. *cough*
I also assisted in the Count Cain one, and according to Eurobeat King's photo, I am the devil (complete with red eye).
And then came the auction.
The Bishounen Auction:
Oh, this will provide me with happy memories to come, I tell you, and not just for the obvious reasons. (Highlights, sadly, since digital doesn't do too hot with moving subjects.)
Lestat (Jacob), whom Jamie had asked about rooming with us, but since I didn't know him, I said no. (Still got bitten and my ear molested though. Very nice mouth, by the way. Introduced myself by 'adjusting' his pants. Then Jamie said, "That's Jacob." I said, "Oh. Shit! Hi, Jacob!")
Now, Lin technically gets his own section at this point because what happened next was just hysterical.
I sadly watched as someone bought him, cursing the fact that I hadn't hit the ATM before the auction. So I texted larathia.
"Ed at bish auction. Roy requires scuba gear stat." (Explanation: RP-wise, I'd explained Roy's absence by having him be dragged off into the bushes for five days. He was thus in so much hot water that he required a snorkel and then scuba gear.)
"PHOTOSPLZKTHX" is the reply.
"3 words. Hello Kitty panties."
"Please photograph this marvel."
"Done. Multiple times."
"Thank youuu..."
"Roommate got closeups."
"Lii and I agree. Beg for copies."
I then find out that they took Visa. Son of a bitch.
I get up to go back to my room to drop off my jacket (that son of a bitch was hot, folks), and on my way, I stop and talk to Lin and tell him that if I'd known that they'd taken Visa, I would have bid on him. He looked flattered, and I had an Idea. I grab my camera from Jamie and go back to Lin and ask, "Can I get an upskirt shot?"
See what happens when you ask nicely, folks?
Incidentally, I purchased Dante for $180 (which was low, really), and we go out after the auction was over and cuddle for a bit on the couches in the Clarion lobby. I make Jamie go take a picture of the Havoc in a miniskirt since I was lazy and quite happy where I was, dammit.
Also, I was instructed to take care of Dante by at least two people. (Told one that I owned Dante's Inferno [/plug] and that seemed to help my credibility?)
(shamelessly yoinked from suzume_sparrow
The best thing about leashes and collars and whatnot is that you can make any sort of combination of people and still consider it a wet dream. ;)
(Also yoinked from suzume_sparrow)
For those of you who've seen my neck, that's where it all began at the dance. The hickeys still have yet to completely fade.
Deciding to leave, Dante and I head out to sit on the benches outside of the Clarion as cold as it was. Hey, we kept each other warm, dammit. ;) Later, when I'd completely sucked out all of his body heat, we went to the Westin, his cold hands on my poor stomach, and hung out in the lobby in the early morning hours, getting drunk, reading from American Gods, being encouraged to do so pornographically by Devin (the Cid who went for $1300) while Dante kissed my stomach and chest.
Eventually, we hit...
Sunday:
The funny thing about sleeping in is that you tend to miss things like panels, shopping, etc, but there's nothing quite like getting some rest after lots of activity, and when you wake up to two people.... Uh, that's another post, and that one's going to have to be rated NC-17.
Eventually, I made it to the closing ceremonies, sore and weak-legged and rather tired. I had to stand in the back where it was hot and a pain, and eventually, the ceremonies ended, and the raffle began.
Oh yes. The raffle.
I bought $20 in tickets, and luckily, one of my tickets was called. Saya had asked people to run up and be enthusiastic. That was not to be with me, and I said that there was an explanation for that. I pulled down the neck of my shirt to show off my neck and pointed to Dante, whose neck had been marked by me, and said, "I'm the other half of the set."
Alien abduction, indeed.
So, because I could, I selected Lin, and my hand was visibly shaking (damn you, Dante) as I got my number. The prize ended up being a Schwarz I drama CD poster (which two people offered to buy or trade from me, one before I even sat down).
Now, I had the choice of spanking or stripping, so I turned to the crowd and asked, "Spank or strip?"
"Spank!" And how am I supposed to deny the crowd?
So Lin assumed the position, and I lifted up his shirt just to see if he was wearing the Hello Kitty panties. And he was. Oh yes.
I then raise my hand and spank him, apparently hard enough that Saya heard the smack, and she mentioned that she heard it. Feeling guilty about that, I ask Lin, "Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?"
So, what the hell, we kiss in front of the crowd.
"Was that consensual?" Saya asked, and someone answered, "I heard her ask."
"I had to kiss it and make it better," I said.
"Normally, you kiss the spot that hurts," she said. (Vague approximation of what she said. I was a little shaky at that point.)
I shrugged, stepped behind Lin and dropped to my knees, lifted up his shirt, and kiss his ass, essentially. Very, very nice ass, by the way.
After the raffle was over, we headed back over the Clarion, and I end up showing him the text messages we sent back and forth, much to his and his friend's amusement.
Later, we go up to the volunteer party at the Westin and exchange info and whatnot. I kiss him goodbye (even though I'd secretly planned on dragging his cute ass out to the Benihana's by the bay and stuffing us both full of sushi) since he still had to leave.
I was thusly molested by Michi (I think?) and Oni and was nearly kicked out of the Westin pool area for lewd behavior. Ahem. *coughs*
Finally, went back to the hotel room to actually unwind and sleep since I technically didn't do very much of it over the past couple of days. Took a long, scalding hot bath, and settled in to read and watch tv. Eventually, Jamie came back from the party, and we compared notes for the weekend.
Honestly, we tried to watch the original Amityville Horror, but we were dead (pun!) and had to sleep or else. Not that we minded.
Monday:
We finished packing and whatnot and had breakfast at the Westin, and we sadly have to check out and wait to go home. Jamie headed out before noon, and I settled in to wait for a few hours. Nuriko and Seeress passed by, and we agreed to have lunch while I waited for my flight.
...you know, until the battery in Nuriko's car died.
Hikari, whom we'd met in the lobby, went with me to grab something from In and Out after the nice insurance person jumped the battery. That's when we saw this sign:
Just in case your eyes are as bad as mine, it reads, "The choice was yours. The pleasure was ours." And if you listen closely, you can hear our minds floating by in the gutter.
Note: Re: In and Out, Sauce? That's what it's called? Are you sure it's not derived from Soylent Green?
Eventually, came back, ate, and darted off to the airport. Met up with Dante again on the shuttle to the airport, and ever so appropriately, Hikari called after me as I got off of the shuttle, "Hope you don't have too much trouble sitting down on your way back!"
And thus ended my Yaoi-con 2005 experience, with an embarrassed, "Shut up!"
Schwag list:
Salty Dog 3
3 con badges from scuttlebutt-inc.com
4 key chains from scuttlebutt-inc.com
Metric assload of doujinshi:
FMA
Maes/Roy
Confused Fight
Shallow Sleep
Black Cat
Longinus
Situation Drama
Champagne Gold Super Market
The End of the World
Flame
Tarnished Paradise
Roy/Ed
Sweet Mix
Dog Soul
Kiss of Life
Never Be Denied
Love Sick
Forbidden Lover
Messiah
Multi-pairing/Roy
Bukkake MAX
Devil May Cry
Aramis
The Prince in Black