This Day, Today. Forgive the Spelling
one monday of this week i went to the doctor for consulation regarding the
tightness in my chest and a slight fever. the resident and the doctor
tusseled a bit over what might be wrong with me. it was finally decided
that i had suffered a "Bronchial Spams" and was possibily carrying a minor
infection of the lungs. after 2 albuterol treatments, which all compounded
my general anxiety, the doctor asked if i was feeling better. it was true,
most of the tightness has went away but there was still a section of pain.
a part of my insides that felt stiff and hypersenitive. i demanded a chest
x-ray to rule out the walking pnuemonia. turns out i opened some can of
worms. they did not want to give me one, but i insisted and they said
"lets do it to make him more comfortable".
today at about 8:30 in the am i get a call from the doctor at the clinic i
attended. she tells me in a short breathless conversation that the x-rays
should some swelling in the lymphs around the bronchial tubes that connect
to the lungs. to my lungs. my lymphs. it is hard to maintain control of
one's head when a doctor reports "problems" on an x-ray of your chest.
moving on... they said i need to get a CT scan. after making an
appointment for tomorrow, i felt i should tell my mom and get her opinion.
i think when i said to her, "there was something strange on my x-ray" she
had decided i would be dead in like 20 minutes.
actually, after i heard that, i was pretty sure i would be dead in 20
minutes. i scheduled an appointment ASAP with a different doctor. one i
felt i could get a better explantion of these adnormalities on my x-rays.
it seems the short-conversation doctor had read the report pretty well.
what she failed to tell me was that i had a very clean x-ray of the actual
lung. so, that rules out the lung cancer. it does not, of course, rule out
a whole host of other amazing things. the worst of which is lymphoma. the
best of which is: it just goes away.
so, i am learing to say the words "bilateral hilar adenopathy". this is
the "thing" i currently have in my chest.
now, the reality of this "bilateral hilar adenopathy" is that a large
majority of the cases are of unknown origin and leave just as mysteriously
as they arrive. most are discovered by accident when a patient insists on
a chest x-ray at an overworked clinic.
anyhow, tomorrow at 2pm i'll have some emultion shot into my veins and a
then a piece of machinery will perform Computed Tomography on my barrel of
a torso and then the votes will be tallied and i'll have something, or
i'll have nothing.
but let me tell you this, today and tonight have been down right fucked.
moments of casting the whole thing off as a routine infection that would
have spread and died without me even know, to the becoming convinced that
i have minutes to live.
currently, i am over-reacting a bit i guess. but getting a phone call that
reports an x-ray has something "suspicious" on it can ruin days and days.
wish me luck,
jon.a.evans.
tightness in my chest and a slight fever. the resident and the doctor
tusseled a bit over what might be wrong with me. it was finally decided
that i had suffered a "Bronchial Spams" and was possibily carrying a minor
infection of the lungs. after 2 albuterol treatments, which all compounded
my general anxiety, the doctor asked if i was feeling better. it was true,
most of the tightness has went away but there was still a section of pain.
a part of my insides that felt stiff and hypersenitive. i demanded a chest
x-ray to rule out the walking pnuemonia. turns out i opened some can of
worms. they did not want to give me one, but i insisted and they said
"lets do it to make him more comfortable".
today at about 8:30 in the am i get a call from the doctor at the clinic i
attended. she tells me in a short breathless conversation that the x-rays
should some swelling in the lymphs around the bronchial tubes that connect
to the lungs. to my lungs. my lymphs. it is hard to maintain control of
one's head when a doctor reports "problems" on an x-ray of your chest.
moving on... they said i need to get a CT scan. after making an
appointment for tomorrow, i felt i should tell my mom and get her opinion.
i think when i said to her, "there was something strange on my x-ray" she
had decided i would be dead in like 20 minutes.
actually, after i heard that, i was pretty sure i would be dead in 20
minutes. i scheduled an appointment ASAP with a different doctor. one i
felt i could get a better explantion of these adnormalities on my x-rays.
it seems the short-conversation doctor had read the report pretty well.
what she failed to tell me was that i had a very clean x-ray of the actual
lung. so, that rules out the lung cancer. it does not, of course, rule out
a whole host of other amazing things. the worst of which is lymphoma. the
best of which is: it just goes away.
so, i am learing to say the words "bilateral hilar adenopathy". this is
the "thing" i currently have in my chest.
now, the reality of this "bilateral hilar adenopathy" is that a large
majority of the cases are of unknown origin and leave just as mysteriously
as they arrive. most are discovered by accident when a patient insists on
a chest x-ray at an overworked clinic.
anyhow, tomorrow at 2pm i'll have some emultion shot into my veins and a
then a piece of machinery will perform Computed Tomography on my barrel of
a torso and then the votes will be tallied and i'll have something, or
i'll have nothing.
but let me tell you this, today and tonight have been down right fucked.
moments of casting the whole thing off as a routine infection that would
have spread and died without me even know, to the becoming convinced that
i have minutes to live.
currently, i am over-reacting a bit i guess. but getting a phone call that
reports an x-ray has something "suspicious" on it can ruin days and days.
wish me luck,
jon.a.evans.