In the Name of Justice: Chapter XIX
Has anyone else heard the previews for Dark Wings? My favourite has got to be Wilderness' song (which I love so much I can't remember its name XD). Also, there's Soleil's song as well, which is to released at the tour final this year. I'm never really that big on live-only singles, but judging from the preview, I know it will probably be one of my favourite songs of this year. I highly recommend going on D's OHP and giving it a listen if you haven't already!
A few notes about this chapter and the one before. The titles are taken from the song Ai wa Hitsugi no Naka ni, which is about Carbuncle looking at Justice and realising (s)he can see Dreizehn in him. It's fairly depressing, and though the chapters aren't based directly the same as the original, the ideas reflect Carbuncle's emotions at this point in the story. Obviously, the Carbuncle scenes are set 150 years or so before the main narrative, but the scene at the end is from Justice's point of view. I hope it doesn't throw anyone off - the prose settles down again from here.
Chapter XIX
…But I am No Longer Afraid
“I understand, Your Majesty. I’m sorry - I shall not defy you any longer.”
It was true: Carbuncle knew it was not within his place to address the king in such a manner, regardless of the situation. Shamed by his own actions, he lowered his head and made to walk away, but paused, surprised, when a hand graced his shoulder.
“Carbuncle,” Dreizehn said - his voice held an almost forced smoothness to it. “How much do you know?”
The young vampire shook his head as he turned to face the other. The king was at least half a head taller than him, so he found himself staring down at the pale skin of his jawline. “I-I was looking for you… Rüstung-Kranz told me that you would be with the Lady Rosalie, but you were nowhere in the castle; and then Kranz, he-”
“He said I had gone to end my life.” Dreizehn’s words were dry as the air was moist. “And what of Rosalie? Is she aware of what is going on?”
Silence.
Whether it was his remorseful expression or lack of reply that gave him away Carbuncle didn’t know. However, the king seemed to understand; mumbling something to himself, he turned away and dropped his head into his hands, frustrated. “No, no… Why did you tell her?”
Carbuncle was helpless, unable to do anything but stand and listen to Dreizehn’s pained murmurs. It was partially his own fault - that much was for sure - another layer of agony to a situation that was already heavy with it. Even in the low light, he could see that Dreizehn’s face was weighted with despair, his eyes on the mud as if his only wish was to curl up and lie amongst it.
Yet there was a conflicting side to the fire vampire’s reasoning - one that was tainted with his own selfishness. It had not been within his intentions to do so, but now that he thought about it, was it not better to have the king feel this way? Perhaps if he were to truly realise the hurt he would cause by disappearing, he would hold back in doing so.
Slowly, Carbuncle took a step forward, but froze solid when Dreizehn turned his eyes upon him; instead of anger, though, there was only helpless despair. “I didn’t want you to see me like this, Carbuncle.” He sighed deeply. “My body knows it is to die, and so it has begun to reject itself. I can’t-”
“Then take my blood, Your Majesty!” The remark was little short of an exclamation.
For a second, Dreizehn’s gaze lingered on him, but then his eyes fell to the ground and he straightened to his full height again. His fingers lightly traced one of the many tightly-wrapped braids adorning the fire vampire’s head before his hand found its place on his shoulder. His lips parted, though no sound came out.
Instead, it was Carbuncle who spoke in a low, controlled tone: “Please, Your Majesty - if you so choose to end your existence in this way, then take my blood. It would be the last honour you could grace me with.”
Dreizehn sighed - a soft, yet painfully drawn-out sound. He glanced at the redhead’s neck, where smooth, pale sinews melted into a sculpted collarbone. If he desired so, it would be all too easy for him to take up the offer and allow Carbuncle’s blood to enter him, replenish him, to draw away the lethargy that he had felt for so long…
“No.” The decision was a firm assurance, not only to the young vampire in front of him, but to himself. “I could never find it within myself to harm my own nephew - you know that, Carbuncle.”
The words seemed to wash around the fire vampire, causing him to shiver slightly. Slowly, he allowed his eyes to turn up and meet with Dreizehn’s, but what he saw before him was not a king: instead, it was the man who had tended to and looked after him since the day his parents had passed away in infanthood. Dreizehn had been a father to him; nurturing, but also scolding him; often taking whole hours out his busy schedule as a monarch to sit him upon his knee and educate him on the world’s workings through maps, books and games of chess, a skill he had been taught since he was old enough to lift the pieces. He knew that the king had taken a great deal of pleasure in watching his nephew grow from a child into a young man. Was he really ready to discard so many memories - Carbuncle’s, as well as his own?
“I understand, Your Majesty. I’m sorry.”
“Or perhaps it is I who should be apologising.” Dreizehn moved his gaze to a nearby tree, as if he deliberately avoiding Carbuncle’s eyes. “Indeed, I am abandoning you. Everything I’ve done, everyone I’ve loved… It’s meaningless now. And for that, I hate myself.”
The way he spoke made Carbuncle wonder whether he was speaking purely for his own sake, though he quickly dismissed that thought. If he knew the king well, then he would have considered this thought countless times, brooded over it, allowed it to trouble him for nights on end. How foolish he was to think any less of his uncle.
“That is why I leave my kingdom to you.”
“What?” Carbuncle’s eyes widened, and shook his head. “Your Majesty, I can’t…” His reaction was not born of modesty, but rather of genuine repulsion to the idea. Surely Dreizehn could not expect him to take on such a duty? Even if it were only in part, how could he be expected to walk in the footsteps of such a person with the low experience he held? The concept was as absurd as it was alarming.
“I’m not asking for forgiveness, Carbuncle; only that you, along with the other three Guardians and Kranz, continue to look over Marthiel in a way that serves its people well. Keep it a safe place for them…” He sighed, his voice sliding into a murmur. “And look after Rosalie. If nothing else, protect her, and make sure the others do as well: though I trust the five of you implicitly, I know not what the servants will think of her when I am gone. Promise me that.”
Carbuncle opened his mouth to protest, but quickly decided against it, bowing his head in submission. Dreizehn seemed adamant that this was the right choice; and as much as he disliked it, he would abide by his superior’s words. Perhaps it was not such a bad decision after all, Carbuncle reasoned. If he were standing in the king’s position, then he, too, would probably choose to entrust his throne to the ones closest to him - it was only natural.
“I promise.”
For a moment, the smallest of smiles flitted across Dreizehn’s lips. Carefully, he leaned forward and buried his nose in the fire vampire’s hair, pausing for a moment to take in the warmth.
“Thank you.”
Carbuncle closed his eyes, allowed himself to be enveloped by the feeling that was slowly taking him over. For the first time in years, he felt like a child again, a small boy held in his uncle’s arms. To think that this was the last time he would ever experience such a sensation… The thought was more painful than any form of physical torture he could be subjected to. After nearly nine hundred years, barely a day had gone by without some kind of interaction with the king, be it hours’ worth of company, or simply a crossing of paths in the corridor; to deprive him of that was like denying one access to shelter after a lifetime of living under a single roof.
Then all of a sudden, the warmth was gone, like a candle snuffed. Fearing the worst, Carbuncle allowed himself one final moment of ignorance before opening his eyes. He was alone again. Dreizehn’s scent lingered in the air, but the man himself was nowhere to be seen. He was gone.
Loneliness began to gnaw away at Carbuncle like a disease. Slowly, he extended one hand and reached as far as he could into the night, then snapped it shut, though there was nothing for him to take hold of - nothing to latch onto…
The first drop of rain landed on the ground in front of him, followed by another and another until the mud started to dance with it; one landed upon the vampire’s cheek and trickled gradually downwards, only stopping when it reached his lips.
That’s funny, he thought, I don’t remember the rain tasting salty.
---
Darkness.
A world of black, a world of silence. Is this death? I never imagined it to be so… Peaceful. I could lie here for an eternity, feeling nothing but this, and feel satisfied. Truly, it is a bliss I have seldom experienced before.
Yet there is something breaking up the darkness - a light. Faint at first, it begins to expand until it is all-consuming. It hurts my eyes… Yet when I try to lift a hand to shield myself, I find that I am unable to.
He’s here!
A voice… Am I the person they speak of? Perhaps…
Is he still alive? He’s injured, Sir.
More meaningless words breaking up the silence, and still the light continues to scald my vision.
There is the faint sound of material rustling, and at the same time my hands fall free, as if they have been released from some kind of restraint. Finally, I am able to cover my eyes, but there is no need to anymore, as the light is suddenly cut off.
Once again, I am swamped by the darkness, though this time I am able to fully embrace it; slowly, I tilt back my head and close my eyes, allowing myself to float in the nothingness. Somewhere, a voice is speaking soft words, but they’re at the back of my mind now, gradually fading into the black.
Rest - nothing is going to hurt you.
Hmm, perhaps they’re right; I’m happy to let myself drift here, even if it is only for the meantime.
After all, who knows what it is that will await me when I open my eyes?
Next Chapter →
A few notes about this chapter and the one before. The titles are taken from the song Ai wa Hitsugi no Naka ni, which is about Carbuncle looking at Justice and realising (s)he can see Dreizehn in him. It's fairly depressing, and though the chapters aren't based directly the same as the original, the ideas reflect Carbuncle's emotions at this point in the story. Obviously, the Carbuncle scenes are set 150 years or so before the main narrative, but the scene at the end is from Justice's point of view. I hope it doesn't throw anyone off - the prose settles down again from here.
Chapter XIX
…But I am No Longer Afraid
“I understand, Your Majesty. I’m sorry - I shall not defy you any longer.”
It was true: Carbuncle knew it was not within his place to address the king in such a manner, regardless of the situation. Shamed by his own actions, he lowered his head and made to walk away, but paused, surprised, when a hand graced his shoulder.
“Carbuncle,” Dreizehn said - his voice held an almost forced smoothness to it. “How much do you know?”
The young vampire shook his head as he turned to face the other. The king was at least half a head taller than him, so he found himself staring down at the pale skin of his jawline. “I-I was looking for you… Rüstung-Kranz told me that you would be with the Lady Rosalie, but you were nowhere in the castle; and then Kranz, he-”
“He said I had gone to end my life.” Dreizehn’s words were dry as the air was moist. “And what of Rosalie? Is she aware of what is going on?”
Silence.
Whether it was his remorseful expression or lack of reply that gave him away Carbuncle didn’t know. However, the king seemed to understand; mumbling something to himself, he turned away and dropped his head into his hands, frustrated. “No, no… Why did you tell her?”
Carbuncle was helpless, unable to do anything but stand and listen to Dreizehn’s pained murmurs. It was partially his own fault - that much was for sure - another layer of agony to a situation that was already heavy with it. Even in the low light, he could see that Dreizehn’s face was weighted with despair, his eyes on the mud as if his only wish was to curl up and lie amongst it.
Yet there was a conflicting side to the fire vampire’s reasoning - one that was tainted with his own selfishness. It had not been within his intentions to do so, but now that he thought about it, was it not better to have the king feel this way? Perhaps if he were to truly realise the hurt he would cause by disappearing, he would hold back in doing so.
Slowly, Carbuncle took a step forward, but froze solid when Dreizehn turned his eyes upon him; instead of anger, though, there was only helpless despair. “I didn’t want you to see me like this, Carbuncle.” He sighed deeply. “My body knows it is to die, and so it has begun to reject itself. I can’t-”
“Then take my blood, Your Majesty!” The remark was little short of an exclamation.
For a second, Dreizehn’s gaze lingered on him, but then his eyes fell to the ground and he straightened to his full height again. His fingers lightly traced one of the many tightly-wrapped braids adorning the fire vampire’s head before his hand found its place on his shoulder. His lips parted, though no sound came out.
Instead, it was Carbuncle who spoke in a low, controlled tone: “Please, Your Majesty - if you so choose to end your existence in this way, then take my blood. It would be the last honour you could grace me with.”
Dreizehn sighed - a soft, yet painfully drawn-out sound. He glanced at the redhead’s neck, where smooth, pale sinews melted into a sculpted collarbone. If he desired so, it would be all too easy for him to take up the offer and allow Carbuncle’s blood to enter him, replenish him, to draw away the lethargy that he had felt for so long…
“No.” The decision was a firm assurance, not only to the young vampire in front of him, but to himself. “I could never find it within myself to harm my own nephew - you know that, Carbuncle.”
The words seemed to wash around the fire vampire, causing him to shiver slightly. Slowly, he allowed his eyes to turn up and meet with Dreizehn’s, but what he saw before him was not a king: instead, it was the man who had tended to and looked after him since the day his parents had passed away in infanthood. Dreizehn had been a father to him; nurturing, but also scolding him; often taking whole hours out his busy schedule as a monarch to sit him upon his knee and educate him on the world’s workings through maps, books and games of chess, a skill he had been taught since he was old enough to lift the pieces. He knew that the king had taken a great deal of pleasure in watching his nephew grow from a child into a young man. Was he really ready to discard so many memories - Carbuncle’s, as well as his own?
“I understand, Your Majesty. I’m sorry.”
“Or perhaps it is I who should be apologising.” Dreizehn moved his gaze to a nearby tree, as if he deliberately avoiding Carbuncle’s eyes. “Indeed, I am abandoning you. Everything I’ve done, everyone I’ve loved… It’s meaningless now. And for that, I hate myself.”
The way he spoke made Carbuncle wonder whether he was speaking purely for his own sake, though he quickly dismissed that thought. If he knew the king well, then he would have considered this thought countless times, brooded over it, allowed it to trouble him for nights on end. How foolish he was to think any less of his uncle.
“That is why I leave my kingdom to you.”
“What?” Carbuncle’s eyes widened, and shook his head. “Your Majesty, I can’t…” His reaction was not born of modesty, but rather of genuine repulsion to the idea. Surely Dreizehn could not expect him to take on such a duty? Even if it were only in part, how could he be expected to walk in the footsteps of such a person with the low experience he held? The concept was as absurd as it was alarming.
“I’m not asking for forgiveness, Carbuncle; only that you, along with the other three Guardians and Kranz, continue to look over Marthiel in a way that serves its people well. Keep it a safe place for them…” He sighed, his voice sliding into a murmur. “And look after Rosalie. If nothing else, protect her, and make sure the others do as well: though I trust the five of you implicitly, I know not what the servants will think of her when I am gone. Promise me that.”
Carbuncle opened his mouth to protest, but quickly decided against it, bowing his head in submission. Dreizehn seemed adamant that this was the right choice; and as much as he disliked it, he would abide by his superior’s words. Perhaps it was not such a bad decision after all, Carbuncle reasoned. If he were standing in the king’s position, then he, too, would probably choose to entrust his throne to the ones closest to him - it was only natural.
“I promise.”
For a moment, the smallest of smiles flitted across Dreizehn’s lips. Carefully, he leaned forward and buried his nose in the fire vampire’s hair, pausing for a moment to take in the warmth.
“Thank you.”
Carbuncle closed his eyes, allowed himself to be enveloped by the feeling that was slowly taking him over. For the first time in years, he felt like a child again, a small boy held in his uncle’s arms. To think that this was the last time he would ever experience such a sensation… The thought was more painful than any form of physical torture he could be subjected to. After nearly nine hundred years, barely a day had gone by without some kind of interaction with the king, be it hours’ worth of company, or simply a crossing of paths in the corridor; to deprive him of that was like denying one access to shelter after a lifetime of living under a single roof.
Then all of a sudden, the warmth was gone, like a candle snuffed. Fearing the worst, Carbuncle allowed himself one final moment of ignorance before opening his eyes. He was alone again. Dreizehn’s scent lingered in the air, but the man himself was nowhere to be seen. He was gone.
Loneliness began to gnaw away at Carbuncle like a disease. Slowly, he extended one hand and reached as far as he could into the night, then snapped it shut, though there was nothing for him to take hold of - nothing to latch onto…
The first drop of rain landed on the ground in front of him, followed by another and another until the mud started to dance with it; one landed upon the vampire’s cheek and trickled gradually downwards, only stopping when it reached his lips.
That’s funny, he thought, I don’t remember the rain tasting salty.
---
Darkness.
A world of black, a world of silence. Is this death? I never imagined it to be so… Peaceful. I could lie here for an eternity, feeling nothing but this, and feel satisfied. Truly, it is a bliss I have seldom experienced before.
Yet there is something breaking up the darkness - a light. Faint at first, it begins to expand until it is all-consuming. It hurts my eyes… Yet when I try to lift a hand to shield myself, I find that I am unable to.
He’s here!
A voice… Am I the person they speak of? Perhaps…
Is he still alive? He’s injured, Sir.
More meaningless words breaking up the silence, and still the light continues to scald my vision.
There is the faint sound of material rustling, and at the same time my hands fall free, as if they have been released from some kind of restraint. Finally, I am able to cover my eyes, but there is no need to anymore, as the light is suddenly cut off.
Once again, I am swamped by the darkness, though this time I am able to fully embrace it; slowly, I tilt back my head and close my eyes, allowing myself to float in the nothingness. Somewhere, a voice is speaking soft words, but they’re at the back of my mind now, gradually fading into the black.
Rest - nothing is going to hurt you.
Hmm, perhaps they’re right; I’m happy to let myself drift here, even if it is only for the meantime.
After all, who knows what it is that will await me when I open my eyes?
Next Chapter →