(no subject)
it almost amuses me. the situation i'm in. to know that the one i have wanted for years, the one that has been the object of my desire for an innumerable amount of days, the one i had a chance with at one point in time but i was too ignorant to see the blinding light. she is the one who now speaks to me of her girlish desires. it pains me to know that the door was open at one point in time, and that i was in another room, away from that passage way to happiness. i was interested in things of the moment. i spoke to her the other night intelligently, and she spoke with me as well. it was one of the best conversations i have ever maintained. it hurts me knowing that i must wait for her, and that the train may never arrive at the station i am positioned at.
anyway.
rehearsal today. ben and i went out last night and discovered that dunkin doughnuts tosses all of their doughnuts from the day at 10:30 pm. we'll be there tonight, waiting to collect our claims. we met a girl there, the manager, allison, who gave us 14 doughnuts for the price of 12. it was amazing. i love doughnuts, i guess i was unaware of that until now. :-)
so now i will lie waiting for one who will never come, i'll pretend that i am busy, i'll pretend that i am interesting. i will play the part of one who is intelligent. i will drown this stage with tears, and i will confound the ignorant and appal the free. and all for vain. these city lights burn in my eyes, they dont know to dim down so i can see the night sky. if i could bottle perfection, i would mix it with gin, its a bitter thing living when the one thing you want, the one thing you need, the one thing youve destroyed so many relationships trying to paint lovers faces with things they arent made of, its bitter to know that thing will never, ever love you back. the worst part is living with yourself. the part that hurts the most is knowing you have torn so many spirits into unreconcilable halves.
i hate myself for that.
i wont go down by myself, but ill go down with my friends.
anyway.
rehearsal today. ben and i went out last night and discovered that dunkin doughnuts tosses all of their doughnuts from the day at 10:30 pm. we'll be there tonight, waiting to collect our claims. we met a girl there, the manager, allison, who gave us 14 doughnuts for the price of 12. it was amazing. i love doughnuts, i guess i was unaware of that until now. :-)
so now i will lie waiting for one who will never come, i'll pretend that i am busy, i'll pretend that i am interesting. i will play the part of one who is intelligent. i will drown this stage with tears, and i will confound the ignorant and appal the free. and all for vain. these city lights burn in my eyes, they dont know to dim down so i can see the night sky. if i could bottle perfection, i would mix it with gin, its a bitter thing living when the one thing you want, the one thing you need, the one thing youve destroyed so many relationships trying to paint lovers faces with things they arent made of, its bitter to know that thing will never, ever love you back. the worst part is living with yourself. the part that hurts the most is knowing you have torn so many spirits into unreconcilable halves.
i hate myself for that.
i wont go down by myself, but ill go down with my friends.