Maybe I'll be the one that you like best.
I'm getting a kitten soon and I fully intend to name it "Schmildü Jones".
I think that, instead of going to college and making something of myself, I'm going to join the circus. I realize that I possess no special talents that would assist me in a circus-related career, but I bet I could pull off wearing a sparkly leotard better than most. I'm also not afraid of lions or tigers, so, with a little practice, I could probably become a fairly capable lion/tiger tamer. I also like elephants. Heights don't scare me, and I'm light and sprightly, which will come in handy if I'm offered the coveted job as a trapeze artist. So far, it's sounding like joining the circus would be really fun. Of course, I'd have to wait until the summer, when the circus comes to town, to join it. Wait, do they still do that these days? I guess I don't know that much about circuses (circii?), which means that this whole plan will be one giant learning experience for me. A person can't learn this kind of stuff in college.
If the circus thing doesn't work out, I'll move to the lovely country of Bosnia and Herzegovina. There, I will join a really radical, secret political movement and somehow manage to work my way up to a position of leadership. I will then use my cunning wit and charm to influence the masses, who will blindly support me when I stage my coup d'etat and rule for a thousand years. I rather like the idea of execution by firing squads, so that practice will be reinstated once I begin my despotic regime. I've seen maps of Bosnia and Herzegovina, and it looks like I'll have to take over Croatia at some point because it's completely blocking access to the sea, and I'm going to need that for importing and exporting various things (i.e. more bullets for the firing squads). I'm also going to have spies, lots of spies.
So I guess what I am trying to say, UMASS Amherst, is that it really doesn't matter whether or not you decide to accept me, because I have two infallible alternate courses of action.
I think that, instead of going to college and making something of myself, I'm going to join the circus. I realize that I possess no special talents that would assist me in a circus-related career, but I bet I could pull off wearing a sparkly leotard better than most. I'm also not afraid of lions or tigers, so, with a little practice, I could probably become a fairly capable lion/tiger tamer. I also like elephants. Heights don't scare me, and I'm light and sprightly, which will come in handy if I'm offered the coveted job as a trapeze artist. So far, it's sounding like joining the circus would be really fun. Of course, I'd have to wait until the summer, when the circus comes to town, to join it. Wait, do they still do that these days? I guess I don't know that much about circuses (circii?), which means that this whole plan will be one giant learning experience for me. A person can't learn this kind of stuff in college.
If the circus thing doesn't work out, I'll move to the lovely country of Bosnia and Herzegovina. There, I will join a really radical, secret political movement and somehow manage to work my way up to a position of leadership. I will then use my cunning wit and charm to influence the masses, who will blindly support me when I stage my coup d'etat and rule for a thousand years. I rather like the idea of execution by firing squads, so that practice will be reinstated once I begin my despotic regime. I've seen maps of Bosnia and Herzegovina, and it looks like I'll have to take over Croatia at some point because it's completely blocking access to the sea, and I'm going to need that for importing and exporting various things (i.e. more bullets for the firing squads). I'm also going to have spies, lots of spies.
So I guess what I am trying to say, UMASS Amherst, is that it really doesn't matter whether or not you decide to accept me, because I have two infallible alternate courses of action.