(no subject)
I've been laying in bed trying to sleep for the last two hours now and it's just not happening. I keep going over everything that's happened to me in the last two months and can't seem to make any sense of it. I'm so tired of never having anything good to say when I post, but it just seems like the bad shit just keeps piling up. I haven't talked to my family since Christmas, so there's no telling what the hell is going on over there. The last I heard, my parents were at it again, but knowing them they made up and had six arguments since then in the same make-up, break-up fashion.
The whole thing with them has seriously soured my ability to trust people. I know that I shouldn't let their mistakes get me down, but I can't help but wonder how many times I've been fucked over by girls I've dated and not known about it. I've actually gone back over the growing list of failed relationships I've been through, and figured out just about every point during the time we dated to find the occasions where they could have gone behind my back. It's sad to think this way. My inability to trust people is frightening, especially those that I thought I was in love with. I have no idea what is going to happen to me. I just don't trust people anymore.
I have too much time on my hands to think, but it seems like I never have time at all to do anything. I sleep, go to work, come home, play WoW, and go back to sleep. This cycle is bad for me. I need to get off my fucking ass and get the hell out of here more often, but I have no idea where I'm supposed to go. I get to take my vacation during the final week of January so maybe in those seven days I can come up with a plan for myself. A way to break this rut and keep myself away from my ever-troubling thoughts.
The whole thing with them has seriously soured my ability to trust people. I know that I shouldn't let their mistakes get me down, but I can't help but wonder how many times I've been fucked over by girls I've dated and not known about it. I've actually gone back over the growing list of failed relationships I've been through, and figured out just about every point during the time we dated to find the occasions where they could have gone behind my back. It's sad to think this way. My inability to trust people is frightening, especially those that I thought I was in love with. I have no idea what is going to happen to me. I just don't trust people anymore.
I have too much time on my hands to think, but it seems like I never have time at all to do anything. I sleep, go to work, come home, play WoW, and go back to sleep. This cycle is bad for me. I need to get off my fucking ass and get the hell out of here more often, but I have no idea where I'm supposed to go. I get to take my vacation during the final week of January so maybe in those seven days I can come up with a plan for myself. A way to break this rut and keep myself away from my ever-troubling thoughts.