Daniel--I need your help

[dead_fkn_silent]

so im sitting here staring at the multi-toned wall infront of my computer... and ive come to the conclusion... daniel helped me before, he can help me now. Im on the outs with matt... ive got one person (that i might add hasnt lied yet) on one side saying that i shouldnt trust anybody (meaning him... you had to be in the conversation leading up to it) and then another... who tends to lie sometimes saying she talked to him and he freaked on her cuz she asked what was up between us... and then him saying that there is nothing wrong... blah blah blah... but he got wicked defensive... and it made me sad to think that he jumped on it so quick there was no way he could have thought out the acusations... so here i am in a confused state of mind... and all i can see is tony. this is exactly what happened with me and tony... people were tellin me to be careful and he got wicked defensive when i confronted him about it. i told matt that i trusted him... and he goes "i know you do" all cocky and shit like he could do whatever he wanted and it would be okay... but with tony it turns out what people were saying is true. every fucking word was true. Daniel helped me cut through the shit before... maybe he can do it now...

its very depressing... I came down here thinking that almost every guy would be like daniel.. sweet, cute, funny, nice... a badass bf... and i was rudely awakened when i found out half of them are tonys. they are all out for sex, sex, or sex. and the ones that arent... arent out for you. what do i do? matts not gonna be here for much longer... would i be foolish to dump him at the first sign of talk?? should i let him ride out the rest of his time here, and just keep my guard up... so i wont be completely upset when and if something happens?? or should i trust him without my doubts... and continue to be his girlfriend??

i hate not knowing where i stand with him. i dont know why he likes me. why we are dating. how much he likes me. i feel very up in the air... and walking-on-eggshells like...i want to just be like look explain shit to me... explain why we are the way we are with each other... i dont even know if he likes me as much as i like him... why do i have these questions?? am i doomed to live a life of question forever now?? jesus h., dude... if i were to ask him, would i sound stupid?? god i need help... daniel come to my rescue... like you always have before...

and if this one doesnt work out... im done with guys... im done with "serious" relationships and love... at least until after high school...