PROM DATE APPLICATION
It has recently come to my knowledge that prom is somewhat near. This struck me as urgent, because my senior Prom can mean only one thing...PARTY! That's right. But at the moment, i lack a partner who would be willing to not even go to prom at all and just dress up so the parents thing we're going and then party
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Your name: melissa douglas
Your email: kaffeeluvingal@hotmail.com
Your age: 17
Your sex: Female (This is non-negotiable. Sorry.)
Your occupation: works front desk at YMCA (you should drop by sometime!)
Where are you from?: k-town
Where do you live now?: ugg, with the parental units
Why are you filling out this form?:
(b/c i need all the help i can get)
[hehehe]I want to ask you out. HA!
[hehehe]No, seriously, I really do want to ask you out
[mmhmmm]I don't want to go on a date with you, but I do want to buy you lots drinks and watch the train wreck develop
[only half of it]I’m putting in fake info to fuck with you
[well, pretty much]I’m horribly desperate for anything male, and you fit the bill
[always is]This is the final stage in a destructive spiral of self-loathing and despair
[yeah prolly]It's either this or jail time
[shh, don't tell!]This is helping me stop masturbating so much
[not especially]I hate your fucking guts
[all the time!]I want to party with you
Why do you think you want to go out on a date with me?:
[yes]Because I want to go on a date with you.
[again, yes]Do I need a reason? Isn't is axiomatic?
[i don't know what this means, but ok] I want to hitch my wagon to your star, and this is Step 1.
[cuz ya are]You seem interesting
[definitely]I think you’d be fun to get drunk with
[totally]I want to end up in one of your stories or future books
[uhh, ok]I feel strangely attracted to you
[just sometimes]I hate myself
[exactly right]I’m one of those people who can’t divert their eyes from accident scenes, and you have that same effect on me
[yes i do]I think your caustic and sarcastic exterior belies a sweet and caring inner self
[well...]I want to give my VD to someone else before I die
[:::just smiles:::]No, really, I enjoy having guys use me and treat me like shit
[hahaha, really]“Which one is oral?”
What is it that you find most attractive about me?:
[yeah!]Your caustic wit and ambitious verve
[oh definitely]Your cute face and hot body
[hey, you put that twice!]Your caustic wit and ambitious verve
[kinda like me]Your constant use of foul, discourteous language
[reminds me of brian]The way you show no regard for the feelings of others
[you're such an actor]The way your immense ego blocks out any real emotional depth
[always]You make me laugh
[now there's a turn-on!]Your single-minded obsession with all things alcoholic
[like i sadi, it reminds me of brian]I like how you never use deodorant. Your pheromones are too sexy to cover up(I do in fact use deodorant)
[pretty much]I don’t like myself, and I'm hoping you'll treat me like a used-up stripper
[of course]Everything
[muahaha]“You’re deceptive.”
How would you rate yourself in terms of your physical attractiveness?:
[yeah right]I’m not very attractive
[you better believe it]I’m cute
[that's right]I’m cute enough for you, assface
[just like FIRE]I’m hot
[uhh no]If you like morbidly obese, cross-eyed fat girls, you'll LOVE me
[wtf?]I’m a butter face
[nope]The kids at school used to call out “Baaaby Ruuth” when I would walk by
[think the oppposite]No, really, I don’t think you understand: I am UG-LY
[eww no]"Daddy says I’m ‘this close’ to living in the yard!”
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