PROM DATE APPLICATION
It has recently come to my knowledge that prom is somewhat near. This struck me as urgent, because my senior Prom can mean only one thing...PARTY! That's right. But at the moment, i lack a partner who would be willing to not even go to prom at all and just dress up so the parents thing we're going and then party
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Your name: Tara Haladyna
Your email:TBear5587@hotmail.com
Your age: 17
Your sex: Female (This is non-negotiable. Sorry.)
Your occupation: Umpire
Where are you from?: Kingwood
Where do you live now?: Kingwood
Why are you filling out this form?:
-I want to party with you
Why do you think you want to go out on a date with me?:
-I’m one of those people who can’t divert their eyes from accident scenes, and you have that same effect on me
What is it that you find most attractive about me?:
-Everything
How would you rate yourself in terms of your physical attractiveness?:
-"Daddy says I’m ‘this close’ to living in the yard!”
How would you rate yourself in terms of your intelligence?:
-I can bend things with my mind
How would you rate yourself in terms of your emotional maturity and stability?:
-I’m pretty sane, but have some minor insecurities and peculiarities, just like everyone
What is your most defining feature or characteristic?:
-My compassionate nature
What would you expect me to bring?:
-Your A+ game
What will I do when I see you?:
-smile
What will my friends say when they see you?:
-“Well, she’s too ugly for him to date…$10 says he sleeps with her anyway.”
What should I wear?:
-Something that says “I’m a rich, arrogant lawyer”, like a navy Hugo Boss suit and Hermes tie
-Something that says “I really don’t care”, like flip-flops, old jeans and logo t-shirt
What type of food will we eat, assuming we go to dinner?:
-Italian
-Who needs to eat if liquor is available?
What will we drink? (we will be drinking…or at least I’ll be drinking):
-beer
-whatever is cheapest
-whatever we can steal from homeless people
How much does it take to get you drunk?:
-A six-pack
What will we talk about on our party 'date'?:
-Sex in public places
-How our parents fucked us up beyond all repair
-How much everyone around us sucks
-Booze
I should compliment you by saying:
-“That is the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen.”
-“You are a very cool person.”
-“You should be on TV. They use plain looking women too.”
Finish this sentence: “I like a man that…
-respects me.”
What will we do after dinner(if we do in fact go before the party?:
-Run out on the bill
How will the date end?:
-A noncommital hug
-Us planning for another date
-One of us waking up in jail without our shoe laces
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