(no subject)
----: I saw her today
-----: I saw him today
----:it seems like its been forever
-----:i wonder if he still cares
----:she looks better than before
-----:i couldnt stop staring
----:i asked her how things were going
-----: i asked about his new girlfriend
----:id choose her over any girl im with
-----: hes probably really happy.
----:i couldnt look at her without starting to cry
-----: he couldnt even look at me
----:i told her i miss her
-----:he doesnt mean it
----:i meant it
-----: he never did
----: i love her
-----: he loves his new girlfriend
----:i held her for the last time
-----:he gave me a friendly hug
----:then i went home and cried
-----:then i went home and cried
----:i lost her
-----:i still love him
I TALKED TO ASHLEY for the FIRST time in like a looong time (last night). shes super happy.
I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh , but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
-----please be my valentine---- .
Everyones heart doesn't beat the same.......
I wasn't kissing him , i was telling his lips a secret .
If you love me , say it . If you want me show it .
there is so much behind my smile , that you will never know.
RIP connor keegan 2/11/87-2/11/05
R.I.P.
COLLIN & BLAKE. my closest friends.
im never ever gonna forget you two either. sheesh, people have those people they can tell anything to like..i lost my virginity or..hey im lesbian or whatever, and you 2..were mine, I only have maybe 1 true person I can really trust right now. I still look up to you guys, and wish you were still here.....im gonna miss you foreverrrr collin, and blake. you guys were awesome and I got to know you guys the closests ever...besssssst buddies.
so whats wrong with me?
idk.....i bet people think im so fucked up, i havent been this sad ever in my life, though. I think alyssa thinks im like this cause of her....or some reason carl....or myself or something, but once again....ive never been this confused in my life with gustavo, her, and now maryann. saras out of the picture, last night i got in a big fight with my dad, and this morning an argument with my mom, the relationship between my parents hasnt changed since what 7th grade? well im glad I have roxy and jill. plus they are so close to divorcing right now. with my daads "business trips" and leaving without us knowing and coming back 3 days later. and things ive had to FUCKING GO THROUGH. drunk asshole. maybe thats why cookies are here?. shaw. so i talked to sasha the other day, i love our talks shes fucking funny, i know soo much about her now. & i bumped into nikki yesterday and she apologized to me.....i was still like wth and interrogated her with like "whyd you do it?" and shit. ugh i think alyssa thinks im leading her on/not being truthful. and i am being 100% truthful, just leaving out a lot of stuff *sigh...so i raaaan to pat and oscars after me and her talked and cried for like 15 minutes until regina came. im still mad at carl, just....not as much he gave me a bad time yesterday worst day in a while. i think the only things keeping me from these blacks, drinking with steven, and cutting, or coricidin. is daniel, and since gustavo knows how i am him, he is bringing me out for dinner and to a movie because were pretty much stag on valentines day i know it's gonna be fun.
-----: I saw him today
----:it seems like its been forever
-----:i wonder if he still cares
----:she looks better than before
-----:i couldnt stop staring
----:i asked her how things were going
-----: i asked about his new girlfriend
----:id choose her over any girl im with
-----: hes probably really happy.
----:i couldnt look at her without starting to cry
-----: he couldnt even look at me
----:i told her i miss her
-----:he doesnt mean it
----:i meant it
-----: he never did
----: i love her
-----: he loves his new girlfriend
----:i held her for the last time
-----:he gave me a friendly hug
----:then i went home and cried
-----:then i went home and cried
----:i lost her
-----:i still love him
I TALKED TO ASHLEY for the FIRST time in like a looong time (last night). shes super happy.
I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh , but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.
-----please be my valentine---- .
Everyones heart doesn't beat the same.......
I wasn't kissing him , i was telling his lips a secret .
If you love me , say it . If you want me show it .
there is so much behind my smile , that you will never know.
RIP connor keegan 2/11/87-2/11/05
R.I.P.
COLLIN & BLAKE. my closest friends.
im never ever gonna forget you two either. sheesh, people have those people they can tell anything to like..i lost my virginity or..hey im lesbian or whatever, and you 2..were mine, I only have maybe 1 true person I can really trust right now. I still look up to you guys, and wish you were still here.....im gonna miss you foreverrrr collin, and blake. you guys were awesome and I got to know you guys the closests ever...besssssst buddies.
so whats wrong with me?
idk.....i bet people think im so fucked up, i havent been this sad ever in my life, though. I think alyssa thinks im like this cause of her....or some reason carl....or myself or something, but once again....ive never been this confused in my life with gustavo, her, and now maryann. saras out of the picture, last night i got in a big fight with my dad, and this morning an argument with my mom, the relationship between my parents hasnt changed since what 7th grade? well im glad I have roxy and jill. plus they are so close to divorcing right now. with my daads "business trips" and leaving without us knowing and coming back 3 days later. and things ive had to FUCKING GO THROUGH. drunk asshole. maybe thats why cookies are here?. shaw. so i talked to sasha the other day, i love our talks shes fucking funny, i know soo much about her now. & i bumped into nikki yesterday and she apologized to me.....i was still like wth and interrogated her with like "whyd you do it?" and shit. ugh i think alyssa thinks im leading her on/not being truthful. and i am being 100% truthful, just leaving out a lot of stuff *sigh...so i raaaan to pat and oscars after me and her talked and cried for like 15 minutes until regina came. im still mad at carl, just....not as much he gave me a bad time yesterday worst day in a while. i think the only things keeping me from these blacks, drinking with steven, and cutting, or coricidin. is daniel, and since gustavo knows how i am him, he is bringing me out for dinner and to a movie because were pretty much stag on valentines day i know it's gonna be fun.