"At a slow steady pace..."
Every now and then there are those pinnacles of understanding that peak the mount in your weeks adventure. I can't say that I understand myself better than the next 20 something but I can say that things get clearer...even though nothing ever changes. I started thinking about what it is to be a livingbreathinghuman latley and how it isn't at all as bad as someone in my postition, oh let's say 600 years ago. While most niggas my age were pages to older niggas deciphering the moon from the crops I can't decipher my resonance in a reason for the life of me. So I threw the towel in. It was a white towel 20 years ago. I wiped the typical blood and sweat (from fracture and puntcure) and now it is something three years sort of hideous. The ugly thing is that it helped me to fuck up a couple of sacred friendships. So I decided to throw it in. I told myself today that my retirement of alternative sources of blame was because I am lacking ingenuity lately. Then I retorted to the inner statement with an easier unknown: If this is placement in containment then break it. Sane. I might be making certain decisions my friends and family will disagree with soon. I may become (in their eyes) evolve into inconsistent and naive. But I can take enough of their advice to understand, but only my own to use. I will be 21 on July 20th. I plan on being 21 myself.