(no subject)
Many paths in life lead you to places where opportunities await. If you are anything like me, you tend not to take those chances. Maybe you are afraid of saying the wrong thing. Maybe, like me, you are afraid of the rejection that may take place. Whatever the reason, you don’t act.
This summer has been a big one for me. I got away from the things I shouldn’t have been doing. I got back to having friends in church that cared about me screwing up my life. And I was able to take a few chances and land some nice spots in the church leading worship and working with some youth. The last part has been my most rewarding; I feel. Not because I am doing anything great or difficult, but because I am doing something I love to do. I am working with young people that are doing so good in life, and maybe by being with me and talking to me, they wont make the same bad choices I did. But this entry isn’t about opportunities I have taken, it is about ones I have missed.
Most of the chances I have missed this summer are chances given to me by people. The chance to be a friend, and I passed it up. The chance to be more than that, and I passed it up. The chance to make a difference, and I passed it up. Hindsight has proven to be the greatest informer because I realized tonight that opportunity knock more frequently on the door of the past than it does on the door of the future. Maybe I was too selfish to see some of them. Maybe I just wasn’t looking. No matter the reason, tonight I thought about it and tonight, I kicked myself for missing it.
You may not know it but I have a very hard time expressing myself. A lot of people think I speak whatever is on my mind whenever I feel like it, but in reality, I do censor my thoughts. Maybe that scares you all even more. The thoughts that don’t get out aren’t the critical ones nor so I keep in things that might be hurtful. The things I keep in are the ones that may let you see the soft side of me. The side that none of you has seen, even if you think you have.
Let me give you a sneak peak to some of the things some of you probably don’t know, and other things some of you do. First off I love the stars. I love sitting outside looking at the sky and just being free of worry. I love listening to creeks flow and I like the smell of the outdoors. I like sunsets, lightning, and anything else that can show you beauty like that. I like theatre and smooth jazz. Kenny G is one of my favorite artists. I also like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Dave Matthews. I enjoy cooking and spending time with friends. I also like that friend to be female, but in non-sexual ways, some of you might not understand that now, but as you mature you will.
Now for some of the things you don’t know about me. I like “chick-flicks” and I have been known to shed a tear. I watch shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and I am moved by the stories. I read books at night with a bedside lamp. I like Mitch Album. I would love to be able to play the harp and I think an Alto is the prettiest voice to hear speak and sing.
All of these things are things I like, but some of them, you would never know if you didn’t read this. It is because I build a wall. There is a quote in someone’s profile that says, “Some people build walls not to keep people out, but to see who is willing to tear them down.” And that is the kind of person I am. But in my own construction of walls, I forgot that other people are also looking for someone to take the time to view them.
I thoroughly believe that a few people know that I am talking directly to you. You know that you are a person that I should have taken the chance I was given. If you are one of those people, please accept this apology. I am very sorry. Maybe one day I will be able to talk to you about it on a personal level, however there is a good chance I will not. If you are really interested though, approach me about it. If you just ask, I’m sure I will tell you. But like I said in the beginning, I fear things, and that causes me not to bring the subject up. Consider this the weakest “Ice breaker” ever and confront me on it.
Now you all know a little more about me, and maybe you are not someone I am talking about above, but still want to see how the big hairy guy can find “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”, to be a good book. You too can start conversation. As long as it isn’t going to be hurtful to someone else, I will probably share with you.
Be safe and God Bless
Deabo
This summer has been a big one for me. I got away from the things I shouldn’t have been doing. I got back to having friends in church that cared about me screwing up my life. And I was able to take a few chances and land some nice spots in the church leading worship and working with some youth. The last part has been my most rewarding; I feel. Not because I am doing anything great or difficult, but because I am doing something I love to do. I am working with young people that are doing so good in life, and maybe by being with me and talking to me, they wont make the same bad choices I did. But this entry isn’t about opportunities I have taken, it is about ones I have missed.
Most of the chances I have missed this summer are chances given to me by people. The chance to be a friend, and I passed it up. The chance to be more than that, and I passed it up. The chance to make a difference, and I passed it up. Hindsight has proven to be the greatest informer because I realized tonight that opportunity knock more frequently on the door of the past than it does on the door of the future. Maybe I was too selfish to see some of them. Maybe I just wasn’t looking. No matter the reason, tonight I thought about it and tonight, I kicked myself for missing it.
You may not know it but I have a very hard time expressing myself. A lot of people think I speak whatever is on my mind whenever I feel like it, but in reality, I do censor my thoughts. Maybe that scares you all even more. The thoughts that don’t get out aren’t the critical ones nor so I keep in things that might be hurtful. The things I keep in are the ones that may let you see the soft side of me. The side that none of you has seen, even if you think you have.
Let me give you a sneak peak to some of the things some of you probably don’t know, and other things some of you do. First off I love the stars. I love sitting outside looking at the sky and just being free of worry. I love listening to creeks flow and I like the smell of the outdoors. I like sunsets, lightning, and anything else that can show you beauty like that. I like theatre and smooth jazz. Kenny G is one of my favorite artists. I also like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Dave Matthews. I enjoy cooking and spending time with friends. I also like that friend to be female, but in non-sexual ways, some of you might not understand that now, but as you mature you will.
Now for some of the things you don’t know about me. I like “chick-flicks” and I have been known to shed a tear. I watch shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition and I am moved by the stories. I read books at night with a bedside lamp. I like Mitch Album. I would love to be able to play the harp and I think an Alto is the prettiest voice to hear speak and sing.
All of these things are things I like, but some of them, you would never know if you didn’t read this. It is because I build a wall. There is a quote in someone’s profile that says, “Some people build walls not to keep people out, but to see who is willing to tear them down.” And that is the kind of person I am. But in my own construction of walls, I forgot that other people are also looking for someone to take the time to view them.
I thoroughly believe that a few people know that I am talking directly to you. You know that you are a person that I should have taken the chance I was given. If you are one of those people, please accept this apology. I am very sorry. Maybe one day I will be able to talk to you about it on a personal level, however there is a good chance I will not. If you are really interested though, approach me about it. If you just ask, I’m sure I will tell you. But like I said in the beginning, I fear things, and that causes me not to bring the subject up. Consider this the weakest “Ice breaker” ever and confront me on it.
Now you all know a little more about me, and maybe you are not someone I am talking about above, but still want to see how the big hairy guy can find “The Five People You Meet in Heaven”, to be a good book. You too can start conversation. As long as it isn’t going to be hurtful to someone else, I will probably share with you.
Be safe and God Bless
Deabo