to quote a good friend 'grr boys...'
Okay so I am still pissed off at something Michkael said to me last night. I'm trying to figure out if it was just that I was tired, or that I was in a bad mood (and I hadn't developed into that grumpy/angry mood back then) or that the meds are causing mood changes.
I think itt is because he assumed something about me. Something that made me yell at him. Does anyone (MUm, Dad, Chesna this question does not include you...) ever remember me yelling at them? No? Well that is because I don't lose my temper properly when it is not family (not even when tom or Dave try to make me lose it). And yet I lost it at him.
I came back from the shops and Ivo was here. I spent the equivalent of 5 - 10 minutes talking to him. I think he was avoiding me because by that time I was well and truly grumpy. The fact that one of my friends is in the apartment and yet not speaking to me (he was out with Michkael, who was smoking on the balcony) might just have pushed me over to the edge into fuming.
I can't talk to Sheeba, I can't talk to Chesna. I did phone Jayde last night, while the two boys were chatting away on the balcony to rant. And yet I am still angry.
I don't think I would have been as pissed off if Michkael had not said that before.
Do you know how much I wish I wasn't paraniod of needles? And it isn't because of injections/blood tests. Its for the simple fact that I want to give blood. Other than my fucked up brain, my body is really healthy. I would be able to give blood reguarly. It is one of the things that I have always wanted to do. It sounds stupid but it is one of my goals in life, amongst becoming a volunteer firefighter, band/or becoming an SES volunteer, one of my greatest goals is to give blood.
I miss Kevin. When I was in a grumpy mood, he had the brains to not argue with me. And he never made presumtions about me. And he understood me mostly. And I mostly understood him. I don't recall ever being mad at him, let alone mad enough to yell at him.
I think itt is because he assumed something about me. Something that made me yell at him. Does anyone (MUm, Dad, Chesna this question does not include you...) ever remember me yelling at them? No? Well that is because I don't lose my temper properly when it is not family (not even when tom or Dave try to make me lose it). And yet I lost it at him.
I came back from the shops and Ivo was here. I spent the equivalent of 5 - 10 minutes talking to him. I think he was avoiding me because by that time I was well and truly grumpy. The fact that one of my friends is in the apartment and yet not speaking to me (he was out with Michkael, who was smoking on the balcony) might just have pushed me over to the edge into fuming.
I can't talk to Sheeba, I can't talk to Chesna. I did phone Jayde last night, while the two boys were chatting away on the balcony to rant. And yet I am still angry.
I don't think I would have been as pissed off if Michkael had not said that before.
Do you know how much I wish I wasn't paraniod of needles? And it isn't because of injections/blood tests. Its for the simple fact that I want to give blood. Other than my fucked up brain, my body is really healthy. I would be able to give blood reguarly. It is one of the things that I have always wanted to do. It sounds stupid but it is one of my goals in life, amongst becoming a volunteer firefighter, band/or becoming an SES volunteer, one of my greatest goals is to give blood.
I miss Kevin. When I was in a grumpy mood, he had the brains to not argue with me. And he never made presumtions about me. And he understood me mostly. And I mostly understood him. I don't recall ever being mad at him, let alone mad enough to yell at him.