(no subject)
With the help of Rahul, I figured out one of the main things that annoys me when it comes to my mother. It often triggers my frustration, so the next thing you know ... well there is the usual fight.
My Room.
I don't think she gets the idea about personal space. If I'm in the shower, or at the other end of the house, she will walk into my room. And it isnt just that. She will go through my things.
Maybe thats where the frustration I feel when someone goes into my room origionated.
I mean I usually don't mind Jayde going in there without me, or britt. Or generally Sheeba or Dinusha (Although with Sheeba you have to worry about a tidying spree starting up).
But most of the time I can't stand it when someone goes into my room. I get frustrated. I tense up. I freak out a little. (Yeah I accepted that there was something wrong with me a long, long, time ago)
My room is my sanctuary. A place that is mine. It is soothing. It has dragons, books and my bed, all soothing things in it. I even find the mess soothing.
And then Mum invades.
I know the dragons etc don't really apply at my room in 77, but the feeling of frustration and unease that occurs when they go in to my room without me. And when they file through my stuff when I'm not there, or I am asleep ... that really pisses me off.
But that's the thing. There's no point me telling her that that is what pisses me off more than everything else, because she still won't stop. She thinks that being my mother gives her the right to go through my personal stuff, in my room and then expects me not to react.
And yet that frustration and anger caused by her invasion is what usually pisses me off into the area of fighting.
OK, now I'm just pissing myself off. I'll shutup now.
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