(no subject)
soooo.....it's 6 AM and i'm not even tired. starting from winter break, my sleep schedule has been totally screwed up.
man, it's been so long since i wrote complete sentences that im having trouble writing right now.
anyways, back on topic. this quarter, school doesnt start for me on monday, wednesday, and friday until 1PM and oh tuesday and thursday until 7PM. so basically, im staying up until the sun comes up before i sleep every monday, wednesday, and usually friday. and then i follow that sleep schedule on tuesday and thursday so im pretty much screwed throughout the day cause im tired from getting such little sleep. on the weekends, id stay up with vickie and her friends either playing cranium and other board games, watching random videos on my computer, or just idling about.
but the problem isnt that im sleeping at odd hours of the day, but its that im not doing anything productive within these hours. im still the devoted procrastinator that ive been for as long as i can remember. i had hoped that i could force myself to study or something remotely similar to studying when i came down here but that hasnt happened yet. i think its because i havent found my motivation. but im not even sure if its even there to be found. i dont even have a job right now. starbucks and i have separated after a 4-year relationship and i have yet to try to find another job or find an internship of some sort.
im behind in school as my 4th year of college is soon to come to an end and i dont even see an end on the horizon. perhaps im just wasting my time in school and wasting my parents' money and i should just move back north and go to SF state. but the only reason that i wouldnt want to do that is because i dont wanna be a disappointment to my family. i could really care less what i become. but i suppose that would be my motivation to try harder - to have people be proud of me. but the laziness is stronger than that motivation and i find myself doing random things like updating my livejournal instead of sleeping and possibly waking up before 4 to get some work done.
so now that ive let that out, i guess ill try to go to bed and get some sleep.
man, it's been so long since i wrote complete sentences that im having trouble writing right now.
anyways, back on topic. this quarter, school doesnt start for me on monday, wednesday, and friday until 1PM and oh tuesday and thursday until 7PM. so basically, im staying up until the sun comes up before i sleep every monday, wednesday, and usually friday. and then i follow that sleep schedule on tuesday and thursday so im pretty much screwed throughout the day cause im tired from getting such little sleep. on the weekends, id stay up with vickie and her friends either playing cranium and other board games, watching random videos on my computer, or just idling about.
but the problem isnt that im sleeping at odd hours of the day, but its that im not doing anything productive within these hours. im still the devoted procrastinator that ive been for as long as i can remember. i had hoped that i could force myself to study or something remotely similar to studying when i came down here but that hasnt happened yet. i think its because i havent found my motivation. but im not even sure if its even there to be found. i dont even have a job right now. starbucks and i have separated after a 4-year relationship and i have yet to try to find another job or find an internship of some sort.
im behind in school as my 4th year of college is soon to come to an end and i dont even see an end on the horizon. perhaps im just wasting my time in school and wasting my parents' money and i should just move back north and go to SF state. but the only reason that i wouldnt want to do that is because i dont wanna be a disappointment to my family. i could really care less what i become. but i suppose that would be my motivation to try harder - to have people be proud of me. but the laziness is stronger than that motivation and i find myself doing random things like updating my livejournal instead of sleeping and possibly waking up before 4 to get some work done.
so now that ive let that out, i guess ill try to go to bed and get some sleep.