I knew you before (part 5)
Fic: I knew you before
Author: de_cendres
Summary: Based upon my movie synopsis meme. During a murder investigation, PI Patrick Van Zedde (M.Fassbender) goes to a psychiatric center to confront a key witness. While he’s heading for the exit, he comes to meet a young man (J.McAvoy) flanked by two auxiliary nurses and captures his empty stare. His blue eyes seem to be so dead that Patrick is overwhelmed by sadness. Putting his feeling aside, he continues his path. In the following seconds, the young patient freezes and begins to come back, hurrying on Patrick, holding him with despair and whispering nonsensical words. The auxiliary nurses bring him under control and free Patrick. The PI leaves, more troubled than ever. Days pass by but Patrick can’t take this stranger out of his head. Moreover, he starts to make always the same kind of dreams. Dreams where he lives in the nineteenth century a secret and forbidden passion with the young man from the psychiatric center and ending in blood and death. Unable to stand this restlessness, he decides to search after the patient’s identity and is determined to find out if he’s drowning himself in madness or if a previous life may come to haunt him. Haunt both of them.
Note: Thank to californiacorps
Part : 1 - 2 - 3 - 4
His green eyes turned away from the burning fire while he caught the warm brown ones of the woman he had promised to link her life to until death do them part. Surprise took a more important part in his answer than the denial cause by the fact that he did not have the courage to keep on any longer. She knew him too well to be fooled once again by his lies as it had been the case in the beginning of their relationship. She gave him a slight and reassuring smile before gazing down at the floor again without waiting for any confirmation of what she already knew.
"I do not blame you. I'm just ..."She took a deep breath, looking away, embarrassed, hands shaking over her work. Patrick frowned. He had never seen her behave like that. Annabella was a young woman with a well-tempered character. This was what had pleased him at first. Tired of all those damsels in white throat and with cheeks that would redden at any compliments whispered in the hollow of the ear, he was pleasantly titillated by the verve, the intelligence and the cutting of this girl. She was not of those who were easily impressed and, unlike all of her friends, she did not hesitate to oppose her husband if needed. Also seeing her so hesitant and uncomfortable was a very curious event for the young man. "A little surprised."
She flashed a shy smile again, but still carefully avoided his gaze. As for him, he just nodded. He had himself been surprised after all. He had never been a faithful man, it was an open secret in the region but that was not the issue here. Annabella had never made any complaint on this and he would always go back to her because he believed she was the only star of his sky, his evening star. The first which would shine when the night was falling, the last which would fade when the day was approaching. But he had only known women. Of course in his youth, he had made some experiments with a high level of alcohol in his blood and a few of his Oxford’s friends, but he had never tasted the pleasures of male bonding. Therefore, he never had any desire to push things beyond the flirtation which he enjoyed. Until recently.
"But I know very well the feeling of passion. "
Again, he raised at her a look of surprise.
"You, Madam? "
She answered him with a smile and an acknowledging look which did not leave the slightest doubt about the object of her passion, surprising Patrick even more, if it were possible.
"Yes, sir. "
The silence fell back between the, the young man wishing to quit this subject, or perhaps he did not know what to say. He was not really sure yet. Finally, she rose to retire to her room. He did as well, sign of courtesy he never parted with, and he silently watched her going away. Just when she was about to disappear into the darkness of the latent marble staircase, she stopped and turned to address one last time her husband.
"However, be really careful of not burning your wings, sir. And do not drag him in your downfall. I foresee trouble."
Patrick burst. Once again, his damp sheets hemmed him from their voracious intertwining. Once again, his dream did not make any sense. Once again, he woke up in the middle of the night, a vise gripping his heart with anxiety.
"You look awful."
Patrick’s green and amorphous eyes first landed on the steaming coffee that had been deposited on the corner of his desk then raised them towards Anna, who was watching him with a worried look on her forehead, which was usually so charming. He sighed heavily, passing his hands upon his face, trying to give it a little color and tone. He knew how tired and deeply his features were marked. Since his visit to the psychiatric hospital, he had not really rested. His nights were not particularly full of terrible nightmares that could have made him tremble until he was about to fold. No, it was not particularly horrific dreams and it was hard to deny them a certain appeal. But it was not usual for the young man to dream of the same thing again and again with always the same person in them. Especially when he had only seen that person once.
"Thank you."He replied with a bitter tone which he wanted to take back immediately.
However, his partner did not run away and she sat on the corner of his desk, her eyes still highly worried. He grabbed the cup of coffee she had bought, reversing the roles for once, and remained silent, as uncomfortable this whole situation was, taking a sip of the precious black liquid. Anna did not try to initiate any conversation which they already knew the outcome of. Patrick did not say anything and still had no intentions of opening his heart on his matters. Even less now that she had invited herself into his dreams too. Even if this was not the first time he was dreaming of her. After all, she was a beautiful woman with whom he got along well and who had all the qualities required to become a good Mrs. Van Zedde, one day, if they decided to make a clean breast of the things between them. Things which, however, became cleaner and cleaner, day by day. Still, the dreams that haunted him now had nothing in common with those he may have had in the past.
"Is this because of Rice’s case? "
Lost in his thoughts, he did not answer. He was concerned about the intensity of the dreams he was invariably having over the past few days. He had already made some realistic dreams, but none of them made him awake all sweaty, heart pounding and whit frozen tears upon his cheeks. Each time, he was experiencing the same emotional state that he had gone through when he had lost his grandfather whom he had always been particularly close of.
"I've never seen you involved so much, Patrick. "
Finally, he gave her his attention, although it was obvious that his mind was elsewhere.
"You should sleep. You shouldn’t let it haunt you. "
He had a slight grin. He would have loved to sleep in peace. If only she knew that the case had nothing to do with the state he was in and that it certainly was not this which prevented him from sleeping when nightfall came. He resumed control over his thoughts, realizing how particularly selfish he was acting and how diametrically away from what had led him into joining the police. Trying to find his cheering and helpful character again, he sent a grateful smile to the young woman and tried to reassure her the best he could, knowing that he would not fool her. She knew him too well.
"I’ll think about it."
"I like to think that if there was anything else you’d tell me, wouldn’t you?"
He looked deeply into her eyes and shook his head softly.
"Of course. "
"I'm serious, Patrick. We are partners and friends. You mustn’t hesitate to talk to me. We trust each other. You know I’d risk my life for yours. "
"I know, Anna. Don’t worry. "
He got up and gave her one last smile, he put a light kiss on his forehead then whispered before he went away :
"Everything’s fine."
"You sure it's a good idea?"
"Arresting the murderer? Definitely.”
Anna sighed deeply and continued in a whisper:
"I mean you being part of the assault when you obviously don’t have the strength for it."
Patrick gave her a quick glance but she was not paying any attention to him, she was focusing on the small suburban house which looked apparently quiet but sheltered a killer. He found nothing to say as she was only telling the truth. He had not slept for weeks. Each night, he would relive the same old events he still did not understand. His cheeks were now sunken with dark rings. His movements were erratic. He had passed out a couple of times. But he refused to admit he had a problem. The only solution he had found was drowning completely and permanently in his work, including Rice’s case. After weeks of suspense, they had finally got a track which he had dug with the help of his colleagues, and the obvious quickly jumped to their faces. It was the reason why they were standing in front of the house of Scott Galaghan, a student who had been expelled earlier this year. Rather than denying vehemently and telling that he was totally fine like he used to say in the past, he muttered:
"I must be here. "
"Your death won’t be of any help. "
He quickly glanced at her but still did not seem to grant her any attention. He was not given any time to dig into the question since the assault was launched.
He did not immediately realize what had happened. Of course, the sounds of close-by and pressing footsteps had sunk in. The sounds of doors and windows being broken to prevent anyone from fleeing had sunk in. The yelling and invectives to encourage the suspect to surrender had sunk in. The way they methodically searched every room in the house had sunk in. How he had carefully opened a door on the top floor and found himself in front of Scott’s green eyes had sunk in. The nagging fear inside his eyes, mixed up with some kind of unnamable madness, had sunk in. The moment he was pointing the gun straight at him had sunk in. Demanding him to surrender and the explosion that had followed, surprising everyone in place, had sunk in. The pain he felt burning from his stomach to his back, blinding him during a few seconds, however, had not sunk in. The freezing cold floor against his back had not sunk in. The red liquid flowing in waves from his body had not sunk it. The frenzy happening around him as he felt tingling over his whole body had not sunk in. It had not sunk in yet when he got totally in the dark.