[exo]Belonging 2/2
Kaisoo; romance/smut/fluff; NC-17
Jongin and Kyungsoo moved in to their shared dorm room. There was a window above only one of the beds and Jongin was quick to claim it and Kyungsoo boasted how free he was to fill his side of the bed with nude pictures of models which Jongin scoffed at. There were two desks on each side and they both didn’t like that. They put both desks right in the middle of their room, facing each other. The process of organizing and putting their shit in the room and their closets was much easier for Kyungsoo than Jongin. Evident as how Jongin’s shit was all over the place while Kyungsoo’s were all neatly placed, sized, colored from brightest to darkest from his clothes to his stuff on his desk to his posters(nude models who are both men and women) and shoes.
“Jongin!!!!!” Kyungsoo whined once, “RULE NUMBER TWO!!!! no meeesssss!!!!!!!”
“If you want to fix it, then fix it yourself,” Jongin muttered and flicked an unlit cigarette between his fingers which dangled over his bed as he read Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman. Blood boiled over Kyungsoo’s head and decided to leave him before he cut off his dick.
“He’s such an ass. Can I just move in with you, hyung?” Kyungsoo asked Joonmyun, a sophomore who he met in his theory class.
“No one’s stopping you,” Joonmyun winked at Kyungsoo and he had to giggle at that.
Joonmyun was a cool guy, suave and smooth, anyone could fall for him in a few seconds and Kyungsoo felt that he was exactly what he needed to take Jongin off of his mind. Joonmyun majored in photography, but liked to sing, therefore he took voice courses and theory courses to add to credits that he just needed to complete before transferring to a prestigious university in Paris. Kyungsoo admired him to no end, even when he smoked, even when his small apartment was stained with ink everywhere. And like Kyungsoo, Joonmyun liked to cook.
“Hyung,” he called out as Joonmyun inspected a strip of film under the sunlight by his window with a cigarette hanging lazily out of his lips.
“Yeah?” he answered, the cigarette dangerously hanging.
“Do you mind if I bake something?” Kyungsoo asked, opening up the cupboards and fridge.
“Oh, please do!” Joonmyun mumbled through cigarette-trapped lips.
Kyungsoo gladly started, taking out everything he needed: Flour, yeast, sugar, oil, and salt. Measuring everything, he let his mind drift. If there was anything he could bake without thinking, or with thinking of something else, it would be this. He then let his hands work like machines as he thought back on the first few months of university.
Jongin wasn’t really at their room that much. In the beginning, he spent lots of time at the dance studio, practicing, perfecting. Kyungsoo always felt a little lonely, or worried when Jongin wasn’t there and it was unsettling because he wasn’t even in the position to worry about where he was, or care, really. It felt like the middle of high school again, where they had their own things going on and they just never had time to see each other. Why was that bothering Kyungsoo so much? He pretended not to know. Yes, it was like the middle of high school again, except this time was worse. Jongin started smoking in the room, drinking sometimes, even and when he slept he snored like no other. Sometimes he wouldn’t even get back to the dorm and Kyungsoo would wait. He would end up sleeping and waking up to a disheveled Jongin plastered on Kyungsoo’s bed and not his own. One time Kyungsoo woke up to arms holding him in his mddle and a quietly sobbing Jongin resting his face on his back. Kyungsoo let him cry on those nights, not moving because he thought maybe Jongin wanted it that way. As time passed, it weighed on Kyungsoo. It all weighed on him and it was starting to hurt because he wanted to know what was happening with Jongin but he can’t because they’re never together, they never see each other
Kyungsoo jumped out of his reverie when he felt hands wrap around his waist and press on his stomach. His hands left the dough he was kneading and pushed the hands away quite harshly. He gasped and turned around to face Joonmyun.
“Hey,” he said, panting a little bit, his cheeks flush from the older man’s sudden actions, “I’m sorry, I was just caught….a bit off-guard…” Kyungsoo swallowed and Joonmyun only smiled and nodded, understanding. Kyungsoo caught his breath though when Joonmyun suddenly leaned in and kissed him. This time, Kyungsoo didn’t stop him. Joonmyun pressed their lips together and Kyungsoo decided he smelled like night time, like stardust. He thought Joonmyun’s tongue felt like thousands of photographs describing what he felt for Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo only felt thankful for those feelings. Kyungsoo let Joonmyun kiss him more but pulled away a second later, saying how he had to make the dough rise, keep it on a bowl and cover it with a damp cloth. Kyungsoo moved quite easily as Joonmyun leaned on his refrigerator as he watched Kyungsoo’s every move. Kyungsoo knew this man was a good man, so it was easy for him to trust him like he did
“What do you plan to do after university?” asked Joonmyun as they sat on the floury counter tops.
“I plan to work in the industry; be a singer, an independent one, or a songwriter, or a composer, or something, I don’t know, maybe a music teacher somewhere in the future. I like this path I’m taking, lots of doors to opportunities,” he smiled a small smile at the older man and “How about you?” he asked back.
“I plan to travel, to take pictures, take shots of masterpieces, of beautiful faces and places, of sorrow and pride. I want to capture the world and build my own gallery,” Joonmyun said and Kyungsoo looked at the older man’s dark eyes. There was so much ambition in them, so much thought, so much brightness, so much will. Kyungsoo thought Joonmyun’s eyes shone like stars, so pleasant, so desirable yet so distant that Kyungsoo might have to be able to fly to reach them. Joonmyun hopped down from the counter after a few moments and placed himself in between Kyungsoo’s legs, kissing him again, his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist
Their kiss deepened and Joonmyun’s hand started to wander to the hem of Kyungsoo’s shirt. Kyungsoo gasped away and pushed off of the counter, sending Joonmyun tumbling back just a little
“Sorry,” Kyungsoo apologized, “The dough must be ready.”
Kyungsoo punched and kneaded the dough out of air bubbles before taking out whatever spices Joonmyun had in his cupboards. He divided the dough in two and after oiling one, sprinkled it with the spices before placing it on a loaf pan. For the other, he spread butter with garlic and parmesan cheese, panned it and baked them. He knew Joonmyun watched him the whole time.
“You really do have a thing for baking, huh?” Joonmyun asked, and as if in a trance of thoughts of Jongin, Kyungsoo nodded absently.
“So is it safe for me to say….?” Joonmyun was asking Kyungsoo outside his dorm building and Kyungsoo nodded, looking at the ground. Joonmyun then lifted his chin up for a soft kiss. There was that smell of fresh night air and stardust again. Joonmyun reached down over Kyungsoo’s jeans and made an attempt to squeeze his ass but Kyungsoo stopped him and pulled away. He took that hand instead and kissed the back of it before turning to enter the building. The look on Joonmyun was those same unreachable ones, just like stars.
“You--WHAT????? You have someone?!?? The fuck does that even MEAN?!?!?!” Jongin yelled in their room, his hands running through his hair one too many times.
“Why does that matter, Jongin? Do I need your permission to go out with anyone? You’ve been sleeping around, Jongin, and you know it. So why are you fussing about me finding someone? Why should it matter to you anyway?&rdqu Not like we’re anything…. Kyungsoo tilted his head up to stop the tears from materializing. Jongin took three strides towards Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo didnn’t stop him from kissing him, but he didn’t let it go for long.
“Stop,” Kyungsoo ordered, but Jongin didn’t stop, “Stop, Jongin,” Kyungsoo repeated but Jongin only proceeded to kiss his neck, “Jongin, NO!” Kyungsoo pushed him back harshly, “I have someone now! Maybe if you get someone else….maybe you’ll be better….please,” Kyungsoo caught the gloomy shade of grey in Jongin’s eyes. There was no hint of the bright sunshine. Jongin stepped back and out of their room.
Not ten minutes after Kyungsoo lay down to sleep that night, Jongin came in, drunk and unable to walk, save for a tall blonde and attractive man who took him in.
“Don’t leave, Kris,” Jongin said and Kyungsoo saw how he pulled Kris down on his bed. Kyungsoo watched in horror as they started to go at it, the Kris guy devouring every inch of everything that was Jongin with his attractive lips and Kyungsoo had to stumble out of their room. He lay in the hall as he heard relentless cries from Jongin and animal-like growls from Kris. Kyungsoo stepped away, every step bringing him to Joonmyun’s small apartment, but every step heaving up painful sobs in his chest. Before Joonmyun’s apartment, he stopped crying and pretended nothing hurt. Whether Joonmyun knew how much he cried that night, he didn’t know because neither of them said anything, Kyungsoo just let him hold him to sleep that night.
Joonmyun have offered for Kyungsoo to live with him, but Kyungsoo pretended not to hear. He was getting good at pretending he convinced people with his poor acting when he says what be says and pretends things were okay, or pretends things didn’t happen, or pretending he didn’t--
“You’ve been sleeping over quite a lot lately,” Jooonmyun mentioned as he lowered a cup of coffee for Kyungsoo and sat beside Kyungsoo on the couch as he sipped his tea and sucked on his cigarette.
“I know,” Kyungsoo answered simply and lay his head on Joonmyun’s shoulder.
Joonmyun never asked why he slept over so much. Kyungsoo figured he wasn’t complaining, since it was after all, his boyfriend.
Jongin, however, have not spoken to him since the night he told him about Joonmyun. He didn’t greet him so much with a simple ‘hi’. It didn’t help that there was a different person, with a dick or a vagina, entered the room with him and Kyungsoo would have to leave to not have them fuck their faces off in front of his face.
“You should move in with me,” Joonmyun offered again and Kyungsoo sighed, thinking that maybe that was for the best.
He did move in to Joonmyun’s place after a month and the day came when he needed to take the last of his stuff from the dorm room.
“So is this it?” Jongin asked him suddenly right when he walked in the room.
Kyungsoo stood there and looked at Jongin’s blank eyes, wondering why he had forbidden himself from falling in love with this guy. Why he never wanted to be with this person, and the Jongin sitting on the bed at that moment was exactly why. He wasn’t so much of a man than he was when they were 10
“Of course not,” Kyungsoo said and sat on the bed, hugging Jongin from the side. Jongin turns his head towards Kyungsoo and a flicker, though just a spec, Kyungsoo saw a little bit of sunshine in them. “You’re my best friend…I’ll always be here when you need me…you have my number you can always--” he was cut off by Jongin’s sweet lips.
“Jongin--” he gasped when Jongin moved his kisses down his neck and started to unbutton his shirt. “Jongin stop--” but Jongin licked and nibbled on his nipples, his hand unbuckling his belt. “Jongin PLEASE,” Kyungsoo tried to break free but Jongin held fast on his hands and sat on his middle. He then continued with his assaults but Kyungsoo started to beg him to stop, “JONGIN I HAVE SOMEONE!!!! PLEASE…..please….” he sobbed, “Stop…” he was gasping under Jongjn and he finally stopped.
“I’m sorry,” Jongin muttered and quickly left, but before he did, he looked at Kyungsoo and “I broke rule number three,” was all he said before leaving completely, except Kyungsoo heard none of it. He didn’t pretend this time, he really didn’t hear it. He was sobbing, his chest heaved in as much breath as he could.
A month later, Kyungsoo got caught being in the dorm room by Jongin. Without a word, Kyungsoo was about to leave.
“I’m sorry!” Jongin called out, “Please….” he said and Kyungsoo turned around to take a look at Jongin. His cheeks sunk in and his eyes had dark circles, his lips darker than before. Kyungsoo walked back quickly and wrapped his arms around Jongin.
“Jongin-ah….” he sobbed, “I love you….” he breathed and pressed a kiss on his temple, “I just don’t think I like you anymore…” Kyungsoo squeezed him before letting go and leaving.
Three months in the apartment with Joonmyun and the middle of the Second semester, Kyungsoo found himself under Joonmyun, moaning as their clothed arousals rubbed at each other and every brush that Joonmyun made had Kyungsoo shuddering from pleasure. Joonmyun then reached down to unbutton his jeans but Kyungsoo stopped him there.
“Again???” Joonmyun cursed under his breath and stood quickly, fixed himself up turned to leave.
“Wait--Joonmyun--“
“Stop it. Get your shit together, Do Kyungsoo. I don’t know how you expect us to work when you clearly don’t want me the way I want you and do you understand how painful that is? Shit,” Joonmyn shook his head, “You know what, let’s…..let’s just call in quits. Get your shit together and when you decide what you want…I dunno. I won’t be here when you are, so,” he then left without another word.
Kyungsoo sat there and sobbed. He reached over and dialed Jongin’s number for the first time in MONTHS.
“Hey,” Jongin answered groggily.
“Can I come over?” Kyungsoo asked, his voice breaking.
“Yeah, yes, of course! I-- what’s wrong?” Jongin asked with more urgency in his voice now.
Kyungsoo just said he was going to be there in twenty minutes.
He rushed into Jongin’s arms once he entered their(his former) room and cried.
“K-Kyungsoo…..” Jongin said a bit awkwardly and so he pulled away, looking up at Jongin, confused. Jongin looked sideways and cocked his head. He looked over and saw a young man, he looked younger than them, sitting up on Jongin’s bed, his face a bit expressionless yet so appealing and overly attractive. Where Jongin got these people, he didn’t know.
“Oh…sorry,” Kyungsoo tried his best to wipe all the tears. He sat on his former bed and watched as Jongjn told the young man a few words and he saw him nod in sympathy and understanding towards Jongin and Kyungsoo before politely leaving.
Once the door clicked, Kyungsoo was on Jongin’s lap. He didn’t know when he started to crave for his best friend, but Jongin obviously craved for him just as much just by the way that he pressed his lips on Kyungsoo, tasting more of him, licking more of him, taking more of him as he pulled away and took his shirt off by himself. Jongin did the same and they continued to kiss, Jongin laying him gently on the bed before his thick lips moved to Kyungsoo’s pale neck. Kyungsoo gasped and closed his eyes from the pleasure. Jongin trailed wet kisses down his collarbones, nipping there, going lower still. Kyungsoo moaned at the tickling feeling of Jongin’s teasing tongue on his nipples. Jongin always made him feel things when they touch and right now he felt electricity through his veins, from his head to his groin, from his palms to his heart. Kyungsoo’s body buzzed with pleasurable electricity and it was all so addicting that he pressed Jongin’s head down on his clothed crotch when Jongn decided to take in a long breath with his nose nuzzled comfortably in between his thighs where Kyungsoo was so hard it hurt. Pulling his pants down with his teeth, Jongin pulled his own off expertly. He then felt Jongin’s fingers on his lips, making him lick them. Kyungsoo gasped first, though when Jongin took in the head of his erection and sucked hard. Kyungsoo kept himself busy and prevented himself from coming too early by slicking up Jongin’s fingers well until they were drenched
Kyungsoo felt blunt fingers on his hole and he retaliated for a second and looked at Jongin.
“Don’t worry about it, Kyungsoo….just breathe in and breathe out, relax…it’ll hurt less if you relax your muscles…” Jongin said and slipped in his whole middle finger. Kyungsoo whimpered loud and Jongin stilled. It almost hurt for it to be inside and it was definitely uncomfortable and Kyungsoo wanted to get over that fast. Jongin pulled out and Kyungsoo shook at the strange feeling. It’s not most pleasant, but i isn't xactly bad. Jongin pushed in his one finger again and he wriggled it a little inside him and that was when Kyungsoo saw blotches of white in his vision, a shot of pleasure soared through him and let him gasp and moan. Jongin then added another finger and Kyungsoo shut his eyes at the new feeling, stretching him out and filling him up, giving him that same shot of pleasure despite the slight pain. Soon, he was used to three, then four. They almost even gave him so much pleasure that he might explode any minute, but Jongin had other plans. Shivering, Kyungsoo sat up just to have Jongin hover over him.
“Suck me…” said his thick plump lips and Kyungsoo had to moan at the sight of them, “Suck me so I can fuck you,” he said and it was hard not to comply. Kyungsoo knelt down beside the bed and placed his face in between Jongin’s legs. Jongin’s erection looked so beautiful to him, the vein that ran from the top to bottom was so big and throbbing, the whole organ itself curved out of pleasure. He eagerly took the head in his mouth and sucked languidly. It was salty and slimy, it was supposed to be disgusting, probably, but it was Jongin and h didn't are because he wanted to make love to this very man, the man he was in love with for the longest time. Breathing in, he took in more of him and felt the hardness, the smoothness of the skin. He felt the vein on his tongue and the vibrations that Jongin’s moans gave out as he started to bob his head. All that was enough to let him touch himself, so he did. He reached down and started to pump himself, feeling Jongin throb more in his mouth.
“Shit…” Jongin hissed, “Shit stop..wait…Ahhhhh….” he moaned and Kyungsoo pulled off with a loud suck, a line of pre-come trailed from his thick lips to the tip of Jongin’s erection and they both moaned, Jongin from loss of heat and Kyungsoo from the sight of Jongin, hot, heavy and needy for him.
Jongin helped Kyungsoo up on the bed and folded him in half, Kyungsoo’s knees almost on his chest when Jongin pushed in slowly.
“Hhhmmm,” Kyungsoo hummed and whined as Jongin pushed in completely. It felt different from feeling it in his mouth. Before Kyungsoo could even comprehend anything else, Jongin pounded into him so fast that it was so hard not to come violently against his chest. Jongin reached over and pumped out the last of Kyungsoo’s come before coming, too. Kyungsoo felt the flaring of the head of Jongin’s dick inside him before he felt warmth enter him and it felt…..well, warm, pleasant, even.
They slept in each other’s arms, Kyungsoo’s lips touching Jongin’s chest last before drifting to sleep.
Kyungsoo woke up the next day earlier than Jongin, naturally. There he watched the way the sun lit his face up. H didn't ook tired, or stressed out, although the dark circles under his eyes were still there, he looked much better than the last time. His lips were still as plump as he remembered them, except now they were more of a rose color.
Half an hour later, they found each other examining each other’s faces.
“Why did you never tell me before?” Jongin asked and pouted.
“I don’t know….you were my best friend, like a brother--”
“We were kissing each other, what else was there to prove?” Jongin suddenly said and he shut up because he was right.
“Like you ever told me,” Kyungsoo accused back and Jongin furrowed his eyebrows.
“Do you not save or listen to voice mails?”
Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, confused.
Jongin made Kyungsoo listen to the one and only voice mail that he sent.
“Kyungsoo-yah….” he sounded tired and exhausted and drunk, “I need to see you….talk to you…I’m getting so bad at this, Kyungsoo….I’m getting worse…..I feel like….I feel like you might be good for me, I'm better with you here…maybe if I hold you forever i'll live life…can you please just come over?”
“And I did say I broke the third rule…I jus wasn't ure if you heard me from your crying and wasn't ure if I wanted you to hear it..." Jongin fumbled with his thumbs as Kyungsoo softened his gaze down at him.
Kyungsoo slipped back in his spot beside Jongin and made himself comfortable.
“Do you know what I think?” Jongin started again.
“Hmm?”
“I think this is what it means to belong to each other and I think I might have claimed you as mine, as one who belonged to me, since kindergarten,” Jongin concluded and Kyungsoo punched him playfully, a smile plastered on his face.
***
A/N:greatlyLoosely based on the movie One Day starring Anne Hathaway.