So this is what it feels like...to live
Its been a very long time ladies and gentlemen...and everything has changed.
"Sometimes its darkest right before pitch black" oh how true this quote once was, and believe me it was fucking dark. But, the proverbial light switch got flipped and like a phoenix being reborn from its own ashes, light came back. And for once in my god damn life it wasnt some dim ass 1 watt light bulb, oh no, this fucker is like the sun and it burns with a passion and conviction that can not be put out. For once in my life i finally know what it is to be happy...i always thought i knew what happiness was before, hell i was even convinced i had experienced it. No, that was just being less depressed, not happy. But that is all gone now. I can actually smile, and not one of those fake smiles from when you laugh or for a picture. A real smile, a real smile is something i feel not do.
So what has changed? A lot. I have finished High School. Yes, i slacked my way through, yes i had no conviction to do work. That was not a good environment for me, and im glad i can say goodbye. Ill be back to see some people, Foster's, Cuevas, Ross, and Worthen, but for the most part im gone. Sure ill see my friends and stuff, but yeah im done with that HS thingy. During my graduation as i walked down the stage people could be heard booing me, and whispering whispers, you know the kind that stabs you in the back. Funny thing though, it made me proud because if you havent offended people then your not being yourself. Dont be afraid to be yourself people, the world may not be ready for you but YOU always are.
I am now a vegeterian. Yes you DID read that right. I Cameron Singer, am now dedicated to being a vegeterian. The same Cameron Singer whos favorite food is steak, who eats 2 packs of jerky a day, who has delighted in ruining his colon for years. I am now a vegeterian and it feels great, not the fact that i am a vegeterian, but for me doing it. There are several reasons why i made the switch. Well, my chol. has been over 250 for a long time, at one point it hit the 300 mark, walking heart attack i know. But thats not the real reason. With my new job, which ill talk about later, i was cleaning the deli and i threw up twice from stuff i saw/smelt. Again not the real person. The real reason is respect. Respect for my best friend, someone who i care dearly about. Ever since i lost Kate ive been trying to get someone to fill her shoes...searching. I gave up when i thought i found someone but then it turned out to NOT be so at all. Funny how once i stop looking i find the person not to replace her per se, but be my best friend. I Love her.
The new vegeterian slogan should be "When brushing your teeth just isnt enough"
Im getting back into martial arts. I am currently searching for a nice hakama, and dogi. I will begin training geavily again. I want to have the same power i once had, and esspecially the control i once had. I will have amazing dedication to it, and i will only be dedicated to one thing above this...and it feels great to be dedicated to it. I already am dedicated to this thing i speak of and its fucking wonderful. It needs no mention =) I am throwing away all of martial arts trophies that i have from winning state all those years ago...also my debate trophies but those never did matter in the first place.
Im cleaning my life in general. And i feel like ive been washed with every piece of nice smelling soap out there. AND its a wonderful feeling. Ive never felt like this before... Its so wonderful. My new comp that me and friends built is rockin. My best friend and i are doing wonderful. I have dedication, and college starts soon. Sweet
Nationals was a joke, i had fun adn used impormptu cases. didnt do too bad considering i had no cases =/ Hit some random utah dude who went to TOC and picked up a ballot on him. Good shiat. Anywayz, it was fun.
If you wanna talk my aim is DDRBPC
Someday, I will show you a Black Lotus, even if it is in a dream.
"Sometimes its darkest right before pitch black" oh how true this quote once was, and believe me it was fucking dark. But, the proverbial light switch got flipped and like a phoenix being reborn from its own ashes, light came back. And for once in my god damn life it wasnt some dim ass 1 watt light bulb, oh no, this fucker is like the sun and it burns with a passion and conviction that can not be put out. For once in my life i finally know what it is to be happy...i always thought i knew what happiness was before, hell i was even convinced i had experienced it. No, that was just being less depressed, not happy. But that is all gone now. I can actually smile, and not one of those fake smiles from when you laugh or for a picture. A real smile, a real smile is something i feel not do.
So what has changed? A lot. I have finished High School. Yes, i slacked my way through, yes i had no conviction to do work. That was not a good environment for me, and im glad i can say goodbye. Ill be back to see some people, Foster's, Cuevas, Ross, and Worthen, but for the most part im gone. Sure ill see my friends and stuff, but yeah im done with that HS thingy. During my graduation as i walked down the stage people could be heard booing me, and whispering whispers, you know the kind that stabs you in the back. Funny thing though, it made me proud because if you havent offended people then your not being yourself. Dont be afraid to be yourself people, the world may not be ready for you but YOU always are.
I am now a vegeterian. Yes you DID read that right. I Cameron Singer, am now dedicated to being a vegeterian. The same Cameron Singer whos favorite food is steak, who eats 2 packs of jerky a day, who has delighted in ruining his colon for years. I am now a vegeterian and it feels great, not the fact that i am a vegeterian, but for me doing it. There are several reasons why i made the switch. Well, my chol. has been over 250 for a long time, at one point it hit the 300 mark, walking heart attack i know. But thats not the real reason. With my new job, which ill talk about later, i was cleaning the deli and i threw up twice from stuff i saw/smelt. Again not the real person. The real reason is respect. Respect for my best friend, someone who i care dearly about. Ever since i lost Kate ive been trying to get someone to fill her shoes...searching. I gave up when i thought i found someone but then it turned out to NOT be so at all. Funny how once i stop looking i find the person not to replace her per se, but be my best friend. I Love her.
The new vegeterian slogan should be "When brushing your teeth just isnt enough"
Im getting back into martial arts. I am currently searching for a nice hakama, and dogi. I will begin training geavily again. I want to have the same power i once had, and esspecially the control i once had. I will have amazing dedication to it, and i will only be dedicated to one thing above this...and it feels great to be dedicated to it. I already am dedicated to this thing i speak of and its fucking wonderful. It needs no mention =) I am throwing away all of martial arts trophies that i have from winning state all those years ago...also my debate trophies but those never did matter in the first place.
Im cleaning my life in general. And i feel like ive been washed with every piece of nice smelling soap out there. AND its a wonderful feeling. Ive never felt like this before... Its so wonderful. My new comp that me and friends built is rockin. My best friend and i are doing wonderful. I have dedication, and college starts soon. Sweet
Nationals was a joke, i had fun adn used impormptu cases. didnt do too bad considering i had no cases =/ Hit some random utah dude who went to TOC and picked up a ballot on him. Good shiat. Anywayz, it was fun.
If you wanna talk my aim is DDRBPC
Someday, I will show you a Black Lotus, even if it is in a dream.