payday!!!
I got a ful ride to U of M on scholarships from acedemics!!! Money
I basically just won the lottery for 24,000 dollars!! I think that deserves a couple extra exclamation points!! hells yeah!!! !! !! !!! !!
I was nervous about school this time around because things have changed with the financial status on my funding. Because I am 24 now I am no longer able to be claimed by dad as a dependant. I trying to talk with him more about getting his name off of my other truck so I can be free from the guilt trips he has been laying down alot lately...
DAD
wednesday he blew up!!
got in argument over phone about driving big truck to shake it down before I sell it and the "you people" words got brougt back up and how "you people" just dont understand why he gets so mad.. I hung up he called back I hung up he yelled more.. I left the house just to be followed by him through town narrowly avoiding collision acouple times with his freshly painted new truck... kind of like when he used to chase mom down and say all he wanted to do was talk and he was not mad but he was willing to almost wreck both their cars.. not good freaked out emotional... probably not dealing with it as good as I could be... affecting other areas of my life for sure and not real happy about it!! went to police station so he would not go completely crazy on me and got an escort home.. scared to say the least!!!
I told him recently that he is making me feel exactly how he has told me his dad haunts him about since he was young.... nothing is ever good enough and when I have something that I think would make him proud I have gotten into an argument with him before I could even show him......... my deans list award... and when I told him about the scholarship money he says well thats why you need to go to church god damn it.. is that irony.. you need to go to church god damn it.. would god bless that??
Church
speaking of church.. went with katrina to community church by moms new house and it was well... weird... did get to see lance and melissa fallot .. she is pregnant lance was funny he said out loud some of the things I was thinking about the experience but out of respect I with held.. he had no problem blurting it was funny... friend of a friends boyfriend was introduced and from jump street I had a shitty taste about him.. not lance another guy.. no name.....rude disrespectful and controling ... note to self try not to be any or all the above it was not cool! he was that guy!!
Eyes have been opened more and more about life through all this and the time spent with katrina has helped.. she is a rare find.... went to detroit zoo yesterday and it was incredible.. got tired as hell half way through the day and ate hummous and pita with her I had sandwich with mayo turkey and mustard she was grossed out.. she has a unique sense of taste of food that is not taste like she dresses weird or talks funny she just has some select things that she likes and many she doesnot.. difficult for me because I can eat just about anything shy of those salty things dad used to get for pizza??? Cant think of the name........
She one thing that made me more happier better feeling than I have in a while I need to remember it more often... we were emotional... and she said she enjoyed the fact that she could be herself and she had fun with me ... I am not sure whether it was more the way she said it or the experience we were having that made it profound but it was .....it is !! cool!!
I feel like there is so much I can learn from her.. spark.. little fires a burning.... grinding more sparks.. am not sure where the road will lead or if were even on a road yet.. I am pretty sure we are out of the parking lot... If we were on a road I think it would not have a name or a real destinantion known but it would be built on a strong foundation of trust and communication.. she is good at it I am not as good .. I usually have my best communication right before one of us is leaving or needs to leave and then I just melt down.. more of that has been happening recently .. stressed...? emotional... happy confused...?? good though that I am apparent and aware... eyes are opening.. bigger and better pictures and stories to come!!!
I basically just won the lottery for 24,000 dollars!! I think that deserves a couple extra exclamation points!! hells yeah!!! !! !! !!! !!
I was nervous about school this time around because things have changed with the financial status on my funding. Because I am 24 now I am no longer able to be claimed by dad as a dependant. I trying to talk with him more about getting his name off of my other truck so I can be free from the guilt trips he has been laying down alot lately...
DAD
wednesday he blew up!!
got in argument over phone about driving big truck to shake it down before I sell it and the "you people" words got brougt back up and how "you people" just dont understand why he gets so mad.. I hung up he called back I hung up he yelled more.. I left the house just to be followed by him through town narrowly avoiding collision acouple times with his freshly painted new truck... kind of like when he used to chase mom down and say all he wanted to do was talk and he was not mad but he was willing to almost wreck both their cars.. not good freaked out emotional... probably not dealing with it as good as I could be... affecting other areas of my life for sure and not real happy about it!! went to police station so he would not go completely crazy on me and got an escort home.. scared to say the least!!!
I told him recently that he is making me feel exactly how he has told me his dad haunts him about since he was young.... nothing is ever good enough and when I have something that I think would make him proud I have gotten into an argument with him before I could even show him......... my deans list award... and when I told him about the scholarship money he says well thats why you need to go to church god damn it.. is that irony.. you need to go to church god damn it.. would god bless that??
Church
speaking of church.. went with katrina to community church by moms new house and it was well... weird... did get to see lance and melissa fallot .. she is pregnant lance was funny he said out loud some of the things I was thinking about the experience but out of respect I with held.. he had no problem blurting it was funny... friend of a friends boyfriend was introduced and from jump street I had a shitty taste about him.. not lance another guy.. no name.....rude disrespectful and controling ... note to self try not to be any or all the above it was not cool! he was that guy!!
Eyes have been opened more and more about life through all this and the time spent with katrina has helped.. she is a rare find.... went to detroit zoo yesterday and it was incredible.. got tired as hell half way through the day and ate hummous and pita with her I had sandwich with mayo turkey and mustard she was grossed out.. she has a unique sense of taste of food that is not taste like she dresses weird or talks funny she just has some select things that she likes and many she doesnot.. difficult for me because I can eat just about anything shy of those salty things dad used to get for pizza??? Cant think of the name........
She one thing that made me more happier better feeling than I have in a while I need to remember it more often... we were emotional... and she said she enjoyed the fact that she could be herself and she had fun with me ... I am not sure whether it was more the way she said it or the experience we were having that made it profound but it was .....it is !! cool!!
I feel like there is so much I can learn from her.. spark.. little fires a burning.... grinding more sparks.. am not sure where the road will lead or if were even on a road yet.. I am pretty sure we are out of the parking lot... If we were on a road I think it would not have a name or a real destinantion known but it would be built on a strong foundation of trust and communication.. she is good at it I am not as good .. I usually have my best communication right before one of us is leaving or needs to leave and then I just melt down.. more of that has been happening recently .. stressed...? emotional... happy confused...?? good though that I am apparent and aware... eyes are opening.. bigger and better pictures and stories to come!!!