two conflicting thoughts
Its called cognitive dissonance, as theres always a scientific term for something. it explains the tension, the stress that you feel when you have two conflicting thoughts or ideas about yourself at one point of time.
The way i explain it: everyone has an idea of themselves in their mind: this is called the "attitude". For example: a kind father, a strict teacher, or say a loving partner. Everyday, everyone try to act their role as what their image of themselves would do if they were in the same situation: this is called the "behavior". However, sometimes our behavior happen to contradict our ideal image that we portray ourself in: "i am a good man, but i did something bad". For example, a righteous student cheating during an examination, or a kind-hearted father hitting their children.
Cognitive dissonance happens when our behavior contradict with our attitude. Any form of inconsistency is uncomfortable, such that people seek to reach a stable state with the least amount of dissonance. to do that, they always follow one of these few outcomes:
1. Change the behavior
2. Change the attitude
3. Rationalize the discrepancy
4. Do nothing to the dissonance
Its really hard to ignore the dissonance when its there, so people tend to go for the alternatives. take an example of people who work in the meat factory: an average joe, killing animals by the count of hundreds everyday, watching them die mercilessly everyday. if he feels the dissonance, he can (1) quit his job, (2) change his perception of himself, as someone who couldn't care less about the lesser beings, (3) rationalize his behavior with reasons such as no other jobs during recession, yet he has to feed his family, or the unlikely alternative (4) live with the feeling of guilt everyday.
The degree of importance depends on 3 factors. the importance of the subject to us: (life or death matters, or just negligible matters), the degree of influence we have over our behavior and attitudes (can we change them, or it is technically and socially impossible to do), and lastly the rewards of dissonance (whether you are paid $1 or $100 to tell that cover-up lie).
Simply by understanding a little better how our mind works, we can make better decisions and avoid wrong decisions that can affect us badly. sometimes, being a little rational can get you more than just doing it by intuition or feelings.
today i was labelled as someone who don't give a damn about my significant other. i always thought that i am that kind of person that will drop anything that i'm doing, and just give myself in that kind of situation. but today have proven me otherwise. am i really that kind of a bad boyfriend. maybe. maybe i am, after all.
The way i explain it: everyone has an idea of themselves in their mind: this is called the "attitude". For example: a kind father, a strict teacher, or say a loving partner. Everyday, everyone try to act their role as what their image of themselves would do if they were in the same situation: this is called the "behavior". However, sometimes our behavior happen to contradict our ideal image that we portray ourself in: "i am a good man, but i did something bad". For example, a righteous student cheating during an examination, or a kind-hearted father hitting their children.
Cognitive dissonance happens when our behavior contradict with our attitude. Any form of inconsistency is uncomfortable, such that people seek to reach a stable state with the least amount of dissonance. to do that, they always follow one of these few outcomes:
1. Change the behavior
2. Change the attitude
3. Rationalize the discrepancy
4. Do nothing to the dissonance
Its really hard to ignore the dissonance when its there, so people tend to go for the alternatives. take an example of people who work in the meat factory: an average joe, killing animals by the count of hundreds everyday, watching them die mercilessly everyday. if he feels the dissonance, he can (1) quit his job, (2) change his perception of himself, as someone who couldn't care less about the lesser beings, (3) rationalize his behavior with reasons such as no other jobs during recession, yet he has to feed his family, or the unlikely alternative (4) live with the feeling of guilt everyday.
The degree of importance depends on 3 factors. the importance of the subject to us: (life or death matters, or just negligible matters), the degree of influence we have over our behavior and attitudes (can we change them, or it is technically and socially impossible to do), and lastly the rewards of dissonance (whether you are paid $1 or $100 to tell that cover-up lie).
Simply by understanding a little better how our mind works, we can make better decisions and avoid wrong decisions that can affect us badly. sometimes, being a little rational can get you more than just doing it by intuition or feelings.
today i was labelled as someone who don't give a damn about my significant other. i always thought that i am that kind of person that will drop anything that i'm doing, and just give myself in that kind of situation. but today have proven me otherwise. am i really that kind of a bad boyfriend. maybe. maybe i am, after all.