Fic
Player: masterofthepen
Subject: Naoto Shirogane, Kanji Tatsumi, Kaito Kuroba, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, and Boota the Molepig (used with permission!)
Table: A [Prompt Table]
Prompt: 13. Test
Notes: Edward and Boota engage in an eating contest at Aiya's to see who can finish the Rainy Day Special first. Inspired by this Plurk-fic.
The rain poured down in sheets, casting a grey hue over the entire city. Edward-red umbrella in hand-tried not to fidget too much, as the rain was making his stump ache something terrible, but he made no complaint. He hoped that Kaito would hurry up and get over here so that he could get out of the damp and into someplace warm. Naoto stood beside him, carrying a pale blue umbrella, and stared out into the rain-soaked street. She could just barely make out the figure of a young man in the distance carrying a black umbrella. As he approached, Naoto immediately recognized the shock of messy brown hair and the small rodent-like creature perched on his shoulder.
“Yo!” Kaito said, raising one hand. He wore a playful grin. “Fine weather we're having, huh?”
Boota sniffed the air in front of him and growled. Molepigs weren't exactly fond of rain, especially since they spent the majority of their life underground. Edward tried not to grimace and shifted uncomfortably.
“You're late,” Naoto said. “I was afraid you weren't going to show up.”
“Are you kidding? I never back down from a challenge, and neither does my little friend here!” he cocked his head toward Boota, and the molepig grunted in agreement.
“Let's hurry up and get inside,” Edward said, turning toward the diner. “The sooner we order, the sooner we can eat!”
Naoto chuckled. “Ed's worked up quite the appetite while waiting for you to arrive.”
The three of them entered the small Chinese diner and shook out their umbrellas before dropping them into the nearby rack. It was relatively empty, since few people liked to go out in the rain during this time of year. The torrential downpours in Inaba meant that only the truly desperate would try to carry out their daily errands. That's why many of the shops would host special sales only on those days, in order to drum up business.
A thin, middle-aged man with a ratlike face turned toward the newcomers. He adjusted his glasses as he spoke.
“Ah! Nao-chan! You want your regula-” His beady eyes widened when he caught sight of Edward. “-Awah!” He staggered back and pointed at the diminutive boy in the red coat. “Y-Y-You came back...”
Edward blinked. He looked from Naoto to Kaito, then back to Aiya. “You talking about me?”
Aiya turned toward the kitchen and shouted something in Cantonese.
Kaito looked to Naoto. “What's going on?”
“I told you before... The last time we came here, Edward cleaned out the place...”
“I was hungry, okay?” Edward said. “Besides, I said I'd pay you back...”
“Call Ling in,” Aiya shouted. “I no care if it's her day off, you tell her that Devouring Red Demon is back again, and we need all the cooks we can get!”
The young magician snorted. “Devouring Red Demon... Is he really talking about this little guy?”
Edward twitched, his entire body going rigid. “Don't call me little... Fortunately for Kaito, Edward's back was turned, so he couldn't see the dark look of anger on the boy's face.
Everyone took a seat at the bar. Boota leaped off Kaito's shoulder and sat down on the counter. His tongue lolled from his mouth as the smell of roasted pork and fried noodles wafted from the kitchen.
“Okay,” Aiya said, dabbing at his forehead with a greasy rag. “What you wanna order?”
Naoto leaned forward and raised two fingers. “Two Rainy Day Specials, please!”
“You sure you can eat all that, Nao-chan?”
“Oh, they're not for me. They're for my friends over here.” She waved to Edward and Boota. Naturally, Aiya assumed she meant Edward and Kaito.
It was then that Aiya took notice of the small molepig sitting on the counter.
“Aiyah! You no can bring that rat in here! If the health department find out, they shut me down!”
Boota stood on his hind legs and grunted his indignation, and he might very well have tried to leap upon the restaurant-owner and bite him had Katio not put out a restraining hand.
“Boota's not a rat! He's a... uh...” Kaito groped about for a believable lie. Luckily, Naoto interjected quickly, “A rare African Desert Molepig. I acquired him quite recently, too. This species hasn't entered the mainstream pet market yet.”
Aiya fixed her with a questioning look, and for a brief moment she didn't think he'd buy their story. After a moment, the restaurant owner shrugged. “Whatever you say, Nao-chan.”
Both Naoto and Kaito breathed a small sigh of relief. It was a good thing that the townsfolk had become accustomed to the special brand of eccentricity displayed by the Shirogane family. Their xenophilia was well-known to the populace: it certainly explained why Naoto's grandfather spent so much time abroad, and why the Shiroganes in general affected so many Western customs.
Aiya bawled into the kitchen. “Two Rainy Day Specials!” He turned toward his customers. “Your order be ready in ten minutes, okay?”
Naoto nodded. Everyone made small talk while they waited for their order to arrive. Kaito noticed a spot on the wall filled with photos of what appeared to be local patrons. One of them depicted a very familiar boy with bleached hair and a scar over his left eyebrow...
“What's with all the pictures on the wall over there?” Kaito said, pointing.
Naoto looked to where the magician indicated. “Oh. That's where they put the photos of all the people who make donations or contributions to the restaurant.” A proud smile lit her face. “Kanji's picture is right there at the top because he's come in nearly everyday to eat here for as long as anyone can remember. That's why he's known as Aiya's Number One Customer.”
“So, what's with the blank spot over there?”
Next to the series of photos was a corkboard. It was completely bare.
“That's where they put the photos of the patrons who manage to finish the Rainy Day Special.”
“But it's blank.”
“I told you, no one has ever finished the Bottomless Beef Bowl.”
Edward grinned. “Well, looks like there's a first time for everything.”
Kaito nudged the blond boy with one elbow. “Sorry to break it to you, but Boota's gonna kick your ass.”
“Tell that little furball that I can take anything he can dish out!”
Boota stared up and Edward and glowered. “Uhn!”
Just then, Aiya exited the kitchen carrying two huge ceramic bowls in both hands. He plunked them down in front of Edward and Kaito. Each bowl was filled with a towering pile of steaming beef slices soaked in some kind of marinade. Edward picked up his fork, unable to keep the greedy smile off his face.
“Boy, does that smell good!” he said. His salivary glands had kicked into overdrive by now. “I can't wait to dig in!”
“Just a moment!” Naoto pulled a digital stopwatch from her pocket. “Ready, Kaito?”
The young magician already had his stopwatch in hand, thumb poised over the starter. “Ready!”
Edward gripped his fork and stared into the pile of meat set before him. Boota placed both paws on the edge of his bowl, his beady eyes narrowed in concentration.
Naoto: “On your mark...”
Kaito: “Get set...”
Both in unison: “GO!”
There was a pair of clicks indicating the start of the contest. Kaito kept a careful watch on the molepig's progress while Naoto focused her attention on Edward as he tucked into his meal.
Ten minutes passed. Fifteen. Still, the amount of meat in their bowls did not appear to change.
Kaito said, “The bowls don't look any emptier to me...”
“I know,” Naoto said softly.
“How come?”
“I... don't know.”
Yes. It was possible that the Bottomless Meat Bowl truly was a portal to the Meat Dimension... Hell, Kaito believed in stanger things.
A small crowd had gathered around the bar to watch the epic battle unfold. The blond haired boy in the red jacket, and the tiny rodent-thing, each eating like their lives depended on it.
“They'll never finish,” someone in the crowd said. “No one's ever finished the Rainy Day Special and lived to tell about it...”
“I still can't see the rice,” Naoto said, keeping one eye on the stopwatch.
Without even pausing for breath, Edward said between mouthfuls of marinated beefsteak, “There's rice in this thing?”
“Yes. That's how you know you're getting close to the bottom.”
The blond youth grinned, clearly pleased with her answer. “Good, cause I ain't ready to be finished so soon in the game. I'm just getting warmed up!”
Another ten minutes had passed. Somehow, the level of the meat in the bowls had suddenly plummeted without anyone noticing. The pile of steaming beef just barely cleared the lip of the bowl now.
Naoto's eyes widened in utter amazement. There, peeking through the pile of meat in Edward's bowl, like a patch of virgin snow on the mountainside, was a small spot of rice.
“I... I see it!” the petite detective cried. “The rice!”
“I see some over here, too!” Kaito shouted.
Now, even Aiya was interested. “No way! No one has reached the rice in over fifty years!”
The urban legend went that a young third-year student from Yasogami High once managed to uncover the rice in the Rainy Day Special, but before he could savor his victory, his stomach had ruptured, and he died on the spot. At least, that's what the old-timers in Inaba claimed...
A cheer went up in the small diner. Even passerby on the street were peeking through the window to see what all the excitement was about.
“Boota's gonna win this thing for sure!” Kaito said. “You can do it, little fella!”
The molepig grunted in approval and buried his head even further into the bowl. His nose and whiskers were coated with juices.
Naoto leaned closer to the boy sitting next to her. “Come on, Ed. You're not going to let some pint-sized rodent beat you, are you?”
The blond youth gritted his teeth, sweat beading on his brow. “No way... I ain't finished just yet...”
Edward laid down his fork, looking a bit pale. Boota had also slowed his frantic pace. He looked tired.
“Giving up so soon?” Aiya chuckled. Despite coming this far, the restaurant-owner didn't think either one would finish.
Edward simply smirked, his hands going to his waist. He fumbled with his belt buckle and loosened it. “Just making room, that's all.” And then he returned to his meal with even more fervor than before.
Boota glowered at the boy with beady eyes. With a belch, the molepig also returned to his meal with renewed fervor. He buried his face in the bowl and munched away, heedless of the juices soaking into his fur.
“Looks like Boota's made some room, too,” Kaito said with a laugh.
Now the entire diner was watching with rapt interest as more and more of the meat disappeared, revealing pure white patches of rice. It wasn't humanely possible. No one could have a stomach that big!
Edward's shirt slowly pulled upward as his stomach grew more distended, revealing a naked strip of flesh. Even Boota sported a rather sizable bulge in his gut.
“Is it just me,” Kaito said, “or are you feeling a little ill just watching them?”
“Yeah...” The Detective Prince was beginning to think that maybe this whole eating contest wasn't such a bright idea, after all.
Suddenly, Boota heaved a huge sigh. His belly was impeding his ability to lean over the edge of the bowl and eat. With a grunt of effort, the molepig leaped into the bowl and was immediately buried beneath a sea of meat and rice.
“Shit! Boota!” Kaito said. “He's gonna drown in there!”
“Look...” Naoto said.
The molepig swam about, gulping down mouthfuls of rice. There was hardly any meat left at all.
Naoto turned her attention to Edward's bowl. Like Boota's, it was down to just the rice now.
“Kaito... I think... I think they're actually going to finish...”
The seconds ticked down on their stopwatched. The entire restaurant was silent as the patrons held their collective breath.
“TIME!” Kaito and Naoto called in unison, thumbs clicking their stopwatches.
Everyone leaned close and peered into the bowls. The were empty. Not a single grain of rice remained.
Aiya staggered back from the counter, his glasses falling askew. “Not... Not possible... You both finish the Rainy Day Special!”
“At the same time!” Naoto and Kaito said in unison once again. They held their stopwatches side by side. Both displayed the same exact time.
After laying his fork down, Edward sat there, breathing heavily. Even Boota was languishing at the bottom of his bowl, panting. Perhaps the contest had finally taken its toll on them both.
The boy leaned against the counter and hiccuped, sweat beading on his brow. His shoulders heaved, and he clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Hit the deck!” Aiya shouted, throwing his arms up and ducking behind the counter. “He gonna blow!”
Edward lowered his hand and belched so loudly that everyone in the tiny restaurant could feel the vibrations. A picture frame fell from the wall and shattered.
There was utter silence.
The blond youth grinned and pushed his bowl toward Aiya. The molepig leaped out of his bowl and mimicked the gesture, pushing the bowl with his tiny nose.
“Seconds?” Edward asked.
“Uhn!” Boota grunted.
“I think the little guy still has room for more!”
*~*~*~*~*
Two hours and sixteen bowls all told later, the boy and the molepig had finally eaten their fill. Naoto and Kaito stared in utter amazement at the stacks of dirty bowls piled along the bar.
“Can't... eat... another... bite...” Edward said, patting his swollen belly. “Gonna... lie down... for a bit...” He leaned forward and pressed his cheek to the counter, eyes drifting closed.
Boota made a half-hearted grunt and rolled onto his back. He resembled a furry bowling ball at this point.
“I'm surprised your stomach hasn't ruptured...” Naoto said, staring down at Edward's gut. She entertained a morbid thought: if someone were to poke his belly, Edward would pop like an overinflated balloon.
Kaito may or may not have been entertaining the same thought. Regardless, he poked at Boota's belly with one finger. The molepig grunted and feebly twitched one leg.
“I don't think the little guy can hold anymore,” Kaito said.
Aiya, who had been standing in slack-jawed shock this whole time, finally let loose a scream of horror.
“Aiyah! Sixteen Rainy Day Specials! And you finish all of them! All free! No charge! You trying to put me out of business?”
“I-I'm so sorry, Aiya!” Naoto bowed her head forward slightly. “I had no idea that they'd be able to eat more than one-”
The restaurant-owner slammed his fist on the counter. The stacks of bowls rattled violently. Edward blinked and quickly sat up. Boota twitched in his sleep.
“Sorry not good enough! You take that Devouring Red Demon and that gluttonous little rat, and you get the hell out!”
“But-”
Any further protests were cut short by the sound of the bell jingling above the door as someone entered the diner. A tall, angry looking young man strode inside. He sported a small scar above his left eyebrow. His hair was bleached, and he wore a black shirt with a skull emblazoned on the front. He lacked an umbrella, which must mean that it had stopped raining a while ago.
“Yo, Aiya. I'll have my regular order of-” The boy looked about the tiny diner. His eyebrows shot upward in a comically confused expression. “Hey! What happened to my picture, huh? It's not hanging on the wall anymore.”
“Um... about that...” Naoto said.
*~*~*~*~*
How do I get myself into these things, Kanji thought to himself as he carried Edward's near-unconscious body out of the restaurant piggyback style. If he'd known that the little guy was going to be so heavy, he would have haggled with Aiya for at least an extra dozen dumplings. As it was, Kanji was getting his entire order for free, so long as he managed to drag the diminutive blond youth off the premises.
“D-Dammit!” Kanji said. “How could a little shrimp like you weigh so much?”
Edward's face spasmed into a look of pure and unadulterated rage, though the effect was somewhat lost
due to the sleepy droop of his eyelids. “D-Don't... call me... a tiny, insignificant little... shrimp...”
Kanji quirked an eyebrow. “I didn't say all of that...”
A snore was Edward's only reply.
Naoto looked up at her boyfriend and smiled. “Hey. Thanks for helping me out back there. Not even Kaito and I could carry Edward all by ourselves.”
“Forget about it,” Kanji said. He pointedly ignored Naoto's smile. A hint of color rose to his cheeks. “ 'Sides, I'm just doin' it for the free meal, okay?”
“Even so, I'm grateful to have a strong guy like you around to do all my heavy-lifting.”
With those words, the slight flush on Kanji's face quickly deepened into a full out blush.
“ 'M glad. I'll carry anything you want me to, Naoto.”
Dammit. Why did Naoto's flat have to be so far away? If she kept complimenting him like this, his face would be redder than Edward's coat by the time they reached the front door.
*~*~*~*~*
After putting Edward to bed, Naoto and Kanji left to return to the diner. Kanji needed to pick up his order, and Naoto was getting a bit hungry herself. When she had admitted to Kanji that she hadn't eaten anything during the whole time they'd been at the restaurant, he simply shook his head and kissed her on the forehead. Silly little detective. What the hell would she do without him?
Edward lay on the small bed, rubbing his grossly distended stomach, and sighed. “Man, this is the first time I've felt full since binding your soul to the armor.”
“Wow, Brother,” Al said, staring in amazement (as much as an empty suit of armor could stare in amazement. “I didn't think it was possible...”
“I wish I could eat like that everyday!”
“I don't know if that's such a good idea. You might get sick if you try to eat more than your stomach can hold...”
The grin fell from Edward's face. He tucked both hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling.
“I have to, Al. You know that. If I could, I'd eat a thousand of those Bottomless Meat Bowls if it meant that your body would get stronger.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “But I'm afraid I've been banned from Aiya's for the foreseeable future...”
The image of his brother's emaciated body floated up from the darkness of Edward's mind, staring at him with sunken, hollow eyes. If eating himself sick would restore just a little color to those pale cheeks... it was worth it.
Alphonse pulled out a small, leather-bound notebook and began scribbling in it. “I'm going to add the Rainy Day Special to the list of foods I want to eat once I get my body back.”
Edward turned his head toward his brother and smiled softly. “Yeah, you do that. And whatever you don't finish, you can give to me, all right?”
Alphonse stared at his older brother, his tone full of indignation. “No way! I'm going to eat it all on my own!”
A devious grin spread across Edward's face.
“Wanna make a bet?”
Subject: Naoto Shirogane, Kanji Tatsumi, Kaito Kuroba, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, and Boota the Molepig (used with permission!)
Table: A [Prompt Table]
Prompt: 13. Test
Notes: Edward and Boota engage in an eating contest at Aiya's to see who can finish the Rainy Day Special first. Inspired by this Plurk-fic.
The rain poured down in sheets, casting a grey hue over the entire city. Edward-red umbrella in hand-tried not to fidget too much, as the rain was making his stump ache something terrible, but he made no complaint. He hoped that Kaito would hurry up and get over here so that he could get out of the damp and into someplace warm. Naoto stood beside him, carrying a pale blue umbrella, and stared out into the rain-soaked street. She could just barely make out the figure of a young man in the distance carrying a black umbrella. As he approached, Naoto immediately recognized the shock of messy brown hair and the small rodent-like creature perched on his shoulder.
“Yo!” Kaito said, raising one hand. He wore a playful grin. “Fine weather we're having, huh?”
Boota sniffed the air in front of him and growled. Molepigs weren't exactly fond of rain, especially since they spent the majority of their life underground. Edward tried not to grimace and shifted uncomfortably.
“You're late,” Naoto said. “I was afraid you weren't going to show up.”
“Are you kidding? I never back down from a challenge, and neither does my little friend here!” he cocked his head toward Boota, and the molepig grunted in agreement.
“Let's hurry up and get inside,” Edward said, turning toward the diner. “The sooner we order, the sooner we can eat!”
Naoto chuckled. “Ed's worked up quite the appetite while waiting for you to arrive.”
The three of them entered the small Chinese diner and shook out their umbrellas before dropping them into the nearby rack. It was relatively empty, since few people liked to go out in the rain during this time of year. The torrential downpours in Inaba meant that only the truly desperate would try to carry out their daily errands. That's why many of the shops would host special sales only on those days, in order to drum up business.
A thin, middle-aged man with a ratlike face turned toward the newcomers. He adjusted his glasses as he spoke.
“Ah! Nao-chan! You want your regula-” His beady eyes widened when he caught sight of Edward. “-Awah!” He staggered back and pointed at the diminutive boy in the red coat. “Y-Y-You came back...”
Edward blinked. He looked from Naoto to Kaito, then back to Aiya. “You talking about me?”
Aiya turned toward the kitchen and shouted something in Cantonese.
Kaito looked to Naoto. “What's going on?”
“I told you before... The last time we came here, Edward cleaned out the place...”
“I was hungry, okay?” Edward said. “Besides, I said I'd pay you back...”
“Call Ling in,” Aiya shouted. “I no care if it's her day off, you tell her that Devouring Red Demon is back again, and we need all the cooks we can get!”
The young magician snorted. “Devouring Red Demon... Is he really talking about this little guy?”
Edward twitched, his entire body going rigid. “Don't call me little... Fortunately for Kaito, Edward's back was turned, so he couldn't see the dark look of anger on the boy's face.
Everyone took a seat at the bar. Boota leaped off Kaito's shoulder and sat down on the counter. His tongue lolled from his mouth as the smell of roasted pork and fried noodles wafted from the kitchen.
“Okay,” Aiya said, dabbing at his forehead with a greasy rag. “What you wanna order?”
Naoto leaned forward and raised two fingers. “Two Rainy Day Specials, please!”
“You sure you can eat all that, Nao-chan?”
“Oh, they're not for me. They're for my friends over here.” She waved to Edward and Boota. Naturally, Aiya assumed she meant Edward and Kaito.
It was then that Aiya took notice of the small molepig sitting on the counter.
“Aiyah! You no can bring that rat in here! If the health department find out, they shut me down!”
Boota stood on his hind legs and grunted his indignation, and he might very well have tried to leap upon the restaurant-owner and bite him had Katio not put out a restraining hand.
“Boota's not a rat! He's a... uh...” Kaito groped about for a believable lie. Luckily, Naoto interjected quickly, “A rare African Desert Molepig. I acquired him quite recently, too. This species hasn't entered the mainstream pet market yet.”
Aiya fixed her with a questioning look, and for a brief moment she didn't think he'd buy their story. After a moment, the restaurant owner shrugged. “Whatever you say, Nao-chan.”
Both Naoto and Kaito breathed a small sigh of relief. It was a good thing that the townsfolk had become accustomed to the special brand of eccentricity displayed by the Shirogane family. Their xenophilia was well-known to the populace: it certainly explained why Naoto's grandfather spent so much time abroad, and why the Shiroganes in general affected so many Western customs.
Aiya bawled into the kitchen. “Two Rainy Day Specials!” He turned toward his customers. “Your order be ready in ten minutes, okay?”
Naoto nodded. Everyone made small talk while they waited for their order to arrive. Kaito noticed a spot on the wall filled with photos of what appeared to be local patrons. One of them depicted a very familiar boy with bleached hair and a scar over his left eyebrow...
“What's with all the pictures on the wall over there?” Kaito said, pointing.
Naoto looked to where the magician indicated. “Oh. That's where they put the photos of all the people who make donations or contributions to the restaurant.” A proud smile lit her face. “Kanji's picture is right there at the top because he's come in nearly everyday to eat here for as long as anyone can remember. That's why he's known as Aiya's Number One Customer.”
“So, what's with the blank spot over there?”
Next to the series of photos was a corkboard. It was completely bare.
“That's where they put the photos of the patrons who manage to finish the Rainy Day Special.”
“But it's blank.”
“I told you, no one has ever finished the Bottomless Beef Bowl.”
Edward grinned. “Well, looks like there's a first time for everything.”
Kaito nudged the blond boy with one elbow. “Sorry to break it to you, but Boota's gonna kick your ass.”
“Tell that little furball that I can take anything he can dish out!”
Boota stared up and Edward and glowered. “Uhn!”
Just then, Aiya exited the kitchen carrying two huge ceramic bowls in both hands. He plunked them down in front of Edward and Kaito. Each bowl was filled with a towering pile of steaming beef slices soaked in some kind of marinade. Edward picked up his fork, unable to keep the greedy smile off his face.
“Boy, does that smell good!” he said. His salivary glands had kicked into overdrive by now. “I can't wait to dig in!”
“Just a moment!” Naoto pulled a digital stopwatch from her pocket. “Ready, Kaito?”
The young magician already had his stopwatch in hand, thumb poised over the starter. “Ready!”
Edward gripped his fork and stared into the pile of meat set before him. Boota placed both paws on the edge of his bowl, his beady eyes narrowed in concentration.
Naoto: “On your mark...”
Kaito: “Get set...”
Both in unison: “GO!”
There was a pair of clicks indicating the start of the contest. Kaito kept a careful watch on the molepig's progress while Naoto focused her attention on Edward as he tucked into his meal.
Ten minutes passed. Fifteen. Still, the amount of meat in their bowls did not appear to change.
Kaito said, “The bowls don't look any emptier to me...”
“I know,” Naoto said softly.
“How come?”
“I... don't know.”
Yes. It was possible that the Bottomless Meat Bowl truly was a portal to the Meat Dimension... Hell, Kaito believed in stanger things.
A small crowd had gathered around the bar to watch the epic battle unfold. The blond haired boy in the red jacket, and the tiny rodent-thing, each eating like their lives depended on it.
“They'll never finish,” someone in the crowd said. “No one's ever finished the Rainy Day Special and lived to tell about it...”
“I still can't see the rice,” Naoto said, keeping one eye on the stopwatch.
Without even pausing for breath, Edward said between mouthfuls of marinated beefsteak, “There's rice in this thing?”
“Yes. That's how you know you're getting close to the bottom.”
The blond youth grinned, clearly pleased with her answer. “Good, cause I ain't ready to be finished so soon in the game. I'm just getting warmed up!”
Another ten minutes had passed. Somehow, the level of the meat in the bowls had suddenly plummeted without anyone noticing. The pile of steaming beef just barely cleared the lip of the bowl now.
Naoto's eyes widened in utter amazement. There, peeking through the pile of meat in Edward's bowl, like a patch of virgin snow on the mountainside, was a small spot of rice.
“I... I see it!” the petite detective cried. “The rice!”
“I see some over here, too!” Kaito shouted.
Now, even Aiya was interested. “No way! No one has reached the rice in over fifty years!”
The urban legend went that a young third-year student from Yasogami High once managed to uncover the rice in the Rainy Day Special, but before he could savor his victory, his stomach had ruptured, and he died on the spot. At least, that's what the old-timers in Inaba claimed...
A cheer went up in the small diner. Even passerby on the street were peeking through the window to see what all the excitement was about.
“Boota's gonna win this thing for sure!” Kaito said. “You can do it, little fella!”
The molepig grunted in approval and buried his head even further into the bowl. His nose and whiskers were coated with juices.
Naoto leaned closer to the boy sitting next to her. “Come on, Ed. You're not going to let some pint-sized rodent beat you, are you?”
The blond youth gritted his teeth, sweat beading on his brow. “No way... I ain't finished just yet...”
Edward laid down his fork, looking a bit pale. Boota had also slowed his frantic pace. He looked tired.
“Giving up so soon?” Aiya chuckled. Despite coming this far, the restaurant-owner didn't think either one would finish.
Edward simply smirked, his hands going to his waist. He fumbled with his belt buckle and loosened it. “Just making room, that's all.” And then he returned to his meal with even more fervor than before.
Boota glowered at the boy with beady eyes. With a belch, the molepig also returned to his meal with renewed fervor. He buried his face in the bowl and munched away, heedless of the juices soaking into his fur.
“Looks like Boota's made some room, too,” Kaito said with a laugh.
Now the entire diner was watching with rapt interest as more and more of the meat disappeared, revealing pure white patches of rice. It wasn't humanely possible. No one could have a stomach that big!
Edward's shirt slowly pulled upward as his stomach grew more distended, revealing a naked strip of flesh. Even Boota sported a rather sizable bulge in his gut.
“Is it just me,” Kaito said, “or are you feeling a little ill just watching them?”
“Yeah...” The Detective Prince was beginning to think that maybe this whole eating contest wasn't such a bright idea, after all.
Suddenly, Boota heaved a huge sigh. His belly was impeding his ability to lean over the edge of the bowl and eat. With a grunt of effort, the molepig leaped into the bowl and was immediately buried beneath a sea of meat and rice.
“Shit! Boota!” Kaito said. “He's gonna drown in there!”
“Look...” Naoto said.
The molepig swam about, gulping down mouthfuls of rice. There was hardly any meat left at all.
Naoto turned her attention to Edward's bowl. Like Boota's, it was down to just the rice now.
“Kaito... I think... I think they're actually going to finish...”
The seconds ticked down on their stopwatched. The entire restaurant was silent as the patrons held their collective breath.
“TIME!” Kaito and Naoto called in unison, thumbs clicking their stopwatches.
Everyone leaned close and peered into the bowls. The were empty. Not a single grain of rice remained.
Aiya staggered back from the counter, his glasses falling askew. “Not... Not possible... You both finish the Rainy Day Special!”
“At the same time!” Naoto and Kaito said in unison once again. They held their stopwatches side by side. Both displayed the same exact time.
After laying his fork down, Edward sat there, breathing heavily. Even Boota was languishing at the bottom of his bowl, panting. Perhaps the contest had finally taken its toll on them both.
The boy leaned against the counter and hiccuped, sweat beading on his brow. His shoulders heaved, and he clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Hit the deck!” Aiya shouted, throwing his arms up and ducking behind the counter. “He gonna blow!”
Edward lowered his hand and belched so loudly that everyone in the tiny restaurant could feel the vibrations. A picture frame fell from the wall and shattered.
There was utter silence.
The blond youth grinned and pushed his bowl toward Aiya. The molepig leaped out of his bowl and mimicked the gesture, pushing the bowl with his tiny nose.
“Seconds?” Edward asked.
“Uhn!” Boota grunted.
“I think the little guy still has room for more!”
*~*~*~*~*
Two hours and sixteen bowls all told later, the boy and the molepig had finally eaten their fill. Naoto and Kaito stared in utter amazement at the stacks of dirty bowls piled along the bar.
“Can't... eat... another... bite...” Edward said, patting his swollen belly. “Gonna... lie down... for a bit...” He leaned forward and pressed his cheek to the counter, eyes drifting closed.
Boota made a half-hearted grunt and rolled onto his back. He resembled a furry bowling ball at this point.
“I'm surprised your stomach hasn't ruptured...” Naoto said, staring down at Edward's gut. She entertained a morbid thought: if someone were to poke his belly, Edward would pop like an overinflated balloon.
Kaito may or may not have been entertaining the same thought. Regardless, he poked at Boota's belly with one finger. The molepig grunted and feebly twitched one leg.
“I don't think the little guy can hold anymore,” Kaito said.
Aiya, who had been standing in slack-jawed shock this whole time, finally let loose a scream of horror.
“Aiyah! Sixteen Rainy Day Specials! And you finish all of them! All free! No charge! You trying to put me out of business?”
“I-I'm so sorry, Aiya!” Naoto bowed her head forward slightly. “I had no idea that they'd be able to eat more than one-”
The restaurant-owner slammed his fist on the counter. The stacks of bowls rattled violently. Edward blinked and quickly sat up. Boota twitched in his sleep.
“Sorry not good enough! You take that Devouring Red Demon and that gluttonous little rat, and you get the hell out!”
“But-”
Any further protests were cut short by the sound of the bell jingling above the door as someone entered the diner. A tall, angry looking young man strode inside. He sported a small scar above his left eyebrow. His hair was bleached, and he wore a black shirt with a skull emblazoned on the front. He lacked an umbrella, which must mean that it had stopped raining a while ago.
“Yo, Aiya. I'll have my regular order of-” The boy looked about the tiny diner. His eyebrows shot upward in a comically confused expression. “Hey! What happened to my picture, huh? It's not hanging on the wall anymore.”
“Um... about that...” Naoto said.
*~*~*~*~*
How do I get myself into these things, Kanji thought to himself as he carried Edward's near-unconscious body out of the restaurant piggyback style. If he'd known that the little guy was going to be so heavy, he would have haggled with Aiya for at least an extra dozen dumplings. As it was, Kanji was getting his entire order for free, so long as he managed to drag the diminutive blond youth off the premises.
“D-Dammit!” Kanji said. “How could a little shrimp like you weigh so much?”
Edward's face spasmed into a look of pure and unadulterated rage, though the effect was somewhat lost
due to the sleepy droop of his eyelids. “D-Don't... call me... a tiny, insignificant little... shrimp...”
Kanji quirked an eyebrow. “I didn't say all of that...”
A snore was Edward's only reply.
Naoto looked up at her boyfriend and smiled. “Hey. Thanks for helping me out back there. Not even Kaito and I could carry Edward all by ourselves.”
“Forget about it,” Kanji said. He pointedly ignored Naoto's smile. A hint of color rose to his cheeks. “ 'Sides, I'm just doin' it for the free meal, okay?”
“Even so, I'm grateful to have a strong guy like you around to do all my heavy-lifting.”
With those words, the slight flush on Kanji's face quickly deepened into a full out blush.
“ 'M glad. I'll carry anything you want me to, Naoto.”
Dammit. Why did Naoto's flat have to be so far away? If she kept complimenting him like this, his face would be redder than Edward's coat by the time they reached the front door.
*~*~*~*~*
After putting Edward to bed, Naoto and Kanji left to return to the diner. Kanji needed to pick up his order, and Naoto was getting a bit hungry herself. When she had admitted to Kanji that she hadn't eaten anything during the whole time they'd been at the restaurant, he simply shook his head and kissed her on the forehead. Silly little detective. What the hell would she do without him?
Edward lay on the small bed, rubbing his grossly distended stomach, and sighed. “Man, this is the first time I've felt full since binding your soul to the armor.”
“Wow, Brother,” Al said, staring in amazement (as much as an empty suit of armor could stare in amazement. “I didn't think it was possible...”
“I wish I could eat like that everyday!”
“I don't know if that's such a good idea. You might get sick if you try to eat more than your stomach can hold...”
The grin fell from Edward's face. He tucked both hands behind his head and stared at the ceiling.
“I have to, Al. You know that. If I could, I'd eat a thousand of those Bottomless Meat Bowls if it meant that your body would get stronger.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “But I'm afraid I've been banned from Aiya's for the foreseeable future...”
The image of his brother's emaciated body floated up from the darkness of Edward's mind, staring at him with sunken, hollow eyes. If eating himself sick would restore just a little color to those pale cheeks... it was worth it.
Alphonse pulled out a small, leather-bound notebook and began scribbling in it. “I'm going to add the Rainy Day Special to the list of foods I want to eat once I get my body back.”
Edward turned his head toward his brother and smiled softly. “Yeah, you do that. And whatever you don't finish, you can give to me, all right?”
Alphonse stared at his older brother, his tone full of indignation. “No way! I'm going to eat it all on my own!”
A devious grin spread across Edward's face.
“Wanna make a bet?”