(no subject)
well today was kinda boring didnt really do much of anything....chris picked me up from school and then i went to clean a horse stable...yay...except not really
i gotta do that this weekend saturday and sunday....blah but i get a little money and the horse is really nice...her name is crystal...shes really pretty too
been feeling a bit blah lately...thinga have been a little weird...and im sick and everything...i dunno...its weird...things havent been feeling the same lately...i cant really pin point anything its just my life in general....people talking to me about things i dunno
and this marriage thing with chris...it kinda scares me right now...i mean i know i love him with all of my heart he is the only person who makes me feel the way that i do...its wonderful but people keep telling me i dont know what love is and that things change and i know chris loves me right now but will it always be there and if love is always there could he still possibly love amanda (i know i bring this shit up alot and people hate it buti cant help it) its just really scary i want to devote my life to this man and feelings change its just so contradicting...just to think that...i dont think my feeling will wvwr change for him...im pretty confident they wont but he is older then i am he will be able to drink legally here soon he is gunna "grow up" so much faster then i will and i am afraid that i may even lose him to the "older" world...i dunno i havent lost him yet but the fact is that soon there will be much more opportunity there and i really wont be able to have any say in it...i mean i cant follow him into a bar and watch for girls hitting on him...you know...i dont know if anyone understands what im talking about...just the older more social life...its just annoying cuz i know that i am not a fun person and im a lot younger to top it all off...i just dont feel as appealing as i once felt...its weird i dunno im hoping the feeling will pass....
on a brighter note my birthday is coming up soon...october 6..for those of you who dont know and if you dont care disrgard this....but im trying to figure out something that i can do that wont be too chaotic for my mom to handle but that will be fun at the same time....i dunno though i dont like the birthday thing...like last year a bunch of people said that they were gunna come by and only 3 people came over...it was kinda upsetting but meh....i hope that i can find something to do before the time comes of not well oh well i guess there wouldnt be much i could do at that point...lol
well i think that i am off ill see you all at a later time
adios
delia
i gotta do that this weekend saturday and sunday....blah but i get a little money and the horse is really nice...her name is crystal...shes really pretty too
been feeling a bit blah lately...thinga have been a little weird...and im sick and everything...i dunno...its weird...things havent been feeling the same lately...i cant really pin point anything its just my life in general....people talking to me about things i dunno
and this marriage thing with chris...it kinda scares me right now...i mean i know i love him with all of my heart he is the only person who makes me feel the way that i do...its wonderful but people keep telling me i dont know what love is and that things change and i know chris loves me right now but will it always be there and if love is always there could he still possibly love amanda (i know i bring this shit up alot and people hate it buti cant help it) its just really scary i want to devote my life to this man and feelings change its just so contradicting...just to think that...i dont think my feeling will wvwr change for him...im pretty confident they wont but he is older then i am he will be able to drink legally here soon he is gunna "grow up" so much faster then i will and i am afraid that i may even lose him to the "older" world...i dunno i havent lost him yet but the fact is that soon there will be much more opportunity there and i really wont be able to have any say in it...i mean i cant follow him into a bar and watch for girls hitting on him...you know...i dont know if anyone understands what im talking about...just the older more social life...its just annoying cuz i know that i am not a fun person and im a lot younger to top it all off...i just dont feel as appealing as i once felt...its weird i dunno im hoping the feeling will pass....
on a brighter note my birthday is coming up soon...october 6..for those of you who dont know and if you dont care disrgard this....but im trying to figure out something that i can do that wont be too chaotic for my mom to handle but that will be fun at the same time....i dunno though i dont like the birthday thing...like last year a bunch of people said that they were gunna come by and only 3 people came over...it was kinda upsetting but meh....i hope that i can find something to do before the time comes of not well oh well i guess there wouldnt be much i could do at that point...lol
well i think that i am off ill see you all at a later time
adios
delia