Ants And Other Higher Lifeforms (SV), 1/1
Title: Ants And Other Higher Lifeforms
Author: Dayspring
Pairing: CLex
Rating: Soda (PG equivalency)-Language
Warnings: Futurefic.
Notes: Written for CLexfest Wave 15--CLex From Someone Else's POV. My Challenge: Foreign Businessman. Ahem. Challenges never go the way I plan; the muses always have their own ideas.
Disclaimer: I own Clark and Lex and the whole Superman fandom. BTW, I adore the cute pink pills I take. And the blue ones. The green ones are nasty, though. I don't take them, and I'm perfectly sane. Perfectly. Can't you tell?
Summary: He really didn't want to come back as an ant.
Ants And Other Higher Lifeforms by Dayspring
I stared at all the "helpful" items my relatives had left in my office: a pair of swords, a ceremonial dagger, a snuff box with an unidentifiable powder inside, a gun with the serial number unobtrusively filed off... Hari kari. Death with honor. Suicide. That which befit a failure. A useless weight on his family. A blight upon the name of Kawabata.
I'd had so much promise, I thought bitterly as I sipped fine, aged scotch that had cost me in the five figures. Fuck them if they thought I was going to leave any of the "good" stuff to divide among themselves after I was gone. Oh yeah, back to "so much promise." Born into a family of businessmen. Educated in the best schools Japan had. Sent to an American business school in order to avoid culture clashes in the future. Princeton, where I'd learned about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Maybe learned too much.
There was a knock, followed immediately by a dark head poking through a carefully opened door. Eyes caught mine, frowning slightly at their corners. No, not dead yet. Consistently disappointing, aren't I. "May I help you, cousin?"
Hiroshi held out a newspaper. "Just thought you might like to read about Lex Luthor's visit to our island, Kenji. He was a classmate of yours, was he not?"
I'd met Lex at Princeton; had watched him party and thought he'd either be dead, in a mental institution, or destitute on the street by the time he was thirty. Apparently business ineptitude extended into other areas of my life. "Yes, Lex is a friend."
"Successful, brilliant. You must have had good teachers there in the States."
So it must just be you, I heard my cousin silently add. "Lex wasn't in the business school. He was in the sciences."
"Yet, he wrestled LuthorCorp from his father and has made it thrice the business it was."
"I thought we were taught to honor our fathers," I muttered defensively.
Hiroshi rolled his eyes and tossed the paper onto the table with a sneer. "I'm sure you should be busy doing something, cousin. I'll leave you to it."
I stared at the picture of Lex Luthor. Strikingly photogenic. Maybe if I were as pretty... No, looks had nothing to do with it. Lex just had--it. The it that could read people, know what they wanted to hear, know their reactions before they reacted. Lex could walk into a room and instantly know what it took to make everyone in the place bow at his feet. If it wasn't for Superman--
Now, there was the only thorn in Lex's charmed life. What was it about Lex that Superman didn't like? Then again, what was it about Superman that made Lex act out in ways he hadn't since our Princeton days? Sure, Lex had a point about not letting some alien come in and tell everyone how to live, but there had to be a better way to protest that than by doing--really stupid stuff! Why did Superman throw Lex off his game so much? Why didn't Superman just put Lex in a cell somewhere and call it a day? What the hell was it between the two of them? They were so...bitter toward each other. Like a divorced couple battling over custody of the kids--and the kids just happened to be the whole planet.
Divor--No. Could--No. I walked over to the window and stared at the unobstructed view--being fifteen stories up could cause that. The blue of the sky. The blue of the ocean. The blue of Superman's suit. Christ. Lex had fucked anything that moved back in the day, but--Superman? Holy hell. That was definitely a recipe for Armageddon. I grinned, indulgently trying to figure out who topped. Sure, Superman was, well, super, but I just couldn't see Lex taking it up the ass on a regular basis. Besides, people with a lot of power like Superman were known for being subs--kind of balanced things out.
At least Lex had finally bedded someone who wouldn't try to kill him. Superman had actually saved him on occasion. And Lex had done the same.
That was interesting.
"Could," I said to the empty room and my empty glass, "they still have feelings for each other? Not just negative feelings, I mean? What if..." What if I managed to get them back together? Would that satisfy karma enough so that if reincarnation was actually a real thing, then I might not come back as an ant that Hiroshi or one of my other relatives would smush into the concrete and complain about the damage to their twelve hundred American dollar loafers? And even if reincarnation was just a ploy to keep the masses at bay, it would be worth it, dying knowing that I'd done something no one else had thought to do. Maybe Lex Luthor and Superman would take over the world and my relatives would have to kiss their foreign/alien asses. Wouldn't that be the perfect ending to a crappy life?
I smiled--and schemed.
*****
The only thing Japanese about the hotel Lex Luthor stayed in was the manager at the front desk. I put on my best smile and made sure my coat was buttoned. "I'm here to see Lex Luthor," I told the man.
"I'm sorry. Mr. Luthor has a full schedule and cannot--"
"Call him. Tell him that Kenji Kawabata is here to see him. I'm an old friend. I'm sure he'll tell you to escort me to his room."
"I really don't want to bother--"
"Would you rather he found out that his friend was refused access to him?"
The man paled and picked up the phone. I stared disinterestedly around the lobby, hoping like hell that Lex hadn't lost his uncanny ability to remember everyone he'd ever met. Of course, I was prepared to do this the hard way if I had to--
"Mr. Luthor will see you. If you would follow me, sir."
I walked into the elevator, ignoring the now obsequious toad. There was a blond Amazon standing next to the door who looked me over before Lex himself opened the door to his suite. "Ken! Long time no see. Come in." He dismissed the manager with a wave and the Amazon with a nod before closing the door.
"I couldn't let you visit my island without coming to see you," I said. "How are you, old friend?"
"Fine. Sinfully expensive scotch still your poison of choice?"
Not only did Lex remember everyone he'd met, but also their favorite drinks. Was it no wonder he was well on his way to becoming legend? "Sounds great, but first..." I walked to where Lex stood with the decanter in his hand, and wrapped my arms around his back, resting my hands against his taut abs. I figured he'd always taken such good care of his body--drug use notwithstanding--because of his lack of hair. An unnecessary deflection, in my opinion.
Lex froze. "Kenji? Giving switch-hitting a try? I'm flattered."
Hmm. He also remembered which way people swung. With a mind like his he'd soon be unstoppable. Maybe it was best that, if my plan worked, Superman would be a leveling influence on this man. "Lex, I have an experimental explosive device strapped to me. You're now pressed against the trigger mechanism. If you pull away, or I release you, the entire floor of this building will be completely annihilated."
Most people would have panicked hearing those words, but I felt Lex's heartbeat slow to a steady beat beneath my hand. I didn't know whether to be in awe of someone who handled threats so easily, or be sad that Lex was apparently so used to the behavior that it didn't bother him. "No need for the theatrics, Ken. What do you need? You know I'll do anything for my friends."
The guy wasn't even trying to reach a panic button--even though there was nothing the Amazon could do. "I want you to call out for Superman."
Now that caused a reaction. Lex's heart begin to thud anxiously. "Excuse me?"
"I want you to call Superman. You know, like, 'Help, Superman, save me'? It's quite common," I said helpfully.
"You're fucking holding me hostage just so you can meet Superman?" Lex spat. "How fucking dare you!"
The anger was telling. There was definitely something between the alien and the billionaire. "Please, Lex, just do this, okay?"
"Of all the--Ken, this is Japan, not Metropolis. You have your own superheroes, you know."
"Superman," I insisted.
"He's all the way in Kansas."
"Call him."
"Haven't you heard the latest? Superman and I are arch-enemies. What makes you even think he'd care enough to come save me?"
"Haven't you heard the latest, Lex? He always saves you."
"That's," Lex sputtered, "that's because he's really saving the other person, the other criminal. It has nothing to do with me. Don't--"
"Don't what, Lex?"
"Don't fall into the same trap I did, thinking that his saving me means anything."
I nodded, starting to see part of the problem between Earth's two greatest powers. "And what does your saving him time and time again mean?"
Lex was silent.
"Call him."
"I can help you, Kenji. Whatever the problem is, you know I can help."
I rested my chin on Lex's shoulder. He smelled good. If I wasn't dying later on in the day, I'd ask him who mixed his cologne. "Just call him."
Lex gave a deep, long sigh. "Superman, help," he mumbled.
"Anything for your friends, remember?" I goaded. I'd forgotten how stubborn he could be.
"Superman, help me." Louder but certainly not of the necessary volume. However...
The window shattered as a streak of red and blue solidified into the Man of Steel.
Superman stared at us and shook his head. "Another disgruntled employee, Luthor? Or just another crazed romantic interest?"
Well, that was presumptuous. Who knew Superman could be such an asshole?
"Neither." Lex was stiff in my arms. "Just another supposed friend who wants to use me for all he can get. That seems to be a trend in my life."
Superman narrowed his eyes. "What would you know of friendship, Luthor?"
"Apparently nothing," Lex replied tiredly. "Look, Superman, Kenji just wanted to meet you. So, Kenji Kawabata, Superman; Superman, Kenji Kawabata."
"Mr. Kawabata," Superman said politely, "You need to let go of Mr. Luthor."
Lex's body strummed with anger. "If he lets go, we all blow up, you idiotic alien! What do you use those X-ray eyes for? Looking through Lois Lane's lingerie? Trust me, if you've seen one cun--"
I quickly placed my hand over Lex's mouth. This wasn't going well at all. But I'd assumed that Lex would be the more difficult of the two. Everything I'd heard about Superman had led me to believe he was perfect. I should've known better. "Kiss him," I blurted out.
"Excuse me?" Superman said with an arched eyebrow.
"If you kiss Lex, I'll tell you how to save him."
"Mr. Kawabata--"
"Ouch!" I frowned at the red spot on my palm. Lex had bitten me.
"I don't know what kind of drugs you're into now, Ken, but--"
"Shut up, Lex, and let him kiss you, okay? I--I just want to see you kiss before I die."
"You're ill? Why didn't you say something? I know several specialists--"
Lex had always considered his heart a weakness. It was nice to see it hadn't been overthrown like his father. I smiled at Superman. "This is the Lex I know, Superman. I want you to know him, too."
Lex snorted elegantly. "Oh, he knows him, Ken. Ask him about the cars he borrowed and the special favors I did for his friends. Ask him about how I begged him to be honest with me, and how he threw everything I'd ever done for him and his family and friends back in my face."
"Get over yourself, Lex," Superman said, slipping by calling Lex's first name. "So you helped me out when we were younger. I helped you, too. I'm sorry if I and my family couldn't be your moral compass, but you're the one who decided to cross over into the darkness. You only have yourself to blame."
Lex trembled in my arms. "Fuck you!"
"Would I get diamond earrings?" Superman retorted.
I wondered if being an ant might not be too bad. Short life. Little drama. "Kiss!" I demanded, fed up with the two of them.
Lex sighed. "Fine. Kiss me, Super-Man," he simpered in a falsetto, making sure to separate the name into two innuendo-laced words.
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Superman replied, then stilled when Lex did the same.
Superman--Stone Cold Bitch. Where was the press when you needed them?
"Oh, shit, Lex. I'm sorry. That was uncalled for," Superman said softly.
"This whole situation is uncalled for," Lex said in resignation. "Just kiss me and end this. Do this one thing for me, Cla--Superman. Then we'll never have to speak again."
Superman nodded and took a step forward. He hesitantly leaned over and pecked Lex on the lips, then looked at me expectantly. I shook my head. He wasn't getting more than a one point two from the Japanese judge for that. I wanted at least a five.
Superman kissed Lex again, a little more aggressively. Maybe a six.
Lex kissed back. A ten, eleven, twelve...
I didn't want to interrupt, but getting felt up by Superman who was really trying to feel up someone else--just wasn't working for me. They reluctantly separated. Superman was blushing and Lex dropped his head in some kind of defeat.
They were beautiful together--even if I was the only person who'd ever see it. I wondered if I'd remember it when I was an ant. "Fly us out over the ocean, Superman," I said. "I'll let go and you can snatch Lex safely out of the way while I blow up."
"Kenji!" Lex protested.
"I'm a failure, Lex, and a burden on my family. It's the only honorable thing for me to do."
Superman looked at Lex and gave a slight nod. Lex took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "All right, Ken. We'll do it your way. But first, just tell me what this was all about."
"Validating a worthless life."
"I don't understand," Superman said.
"Neither of you do. And that's a sad reality I must face in these last few minutes of my life."
Lex glanced oddly at Superman. "Why don't you go find a spot that's far enough away not to cause any damage?"
Superman returned the glance. "It'll only take a moment." He whooshed out of the room.
"Kenji, thank you for making the effort. I don't know how you discerned--"
"I don't know how others miss it."
"It was a long time ago," Lex said, shrugging, "and people have always been willing to see exactly what others want them to see."
"He hurt you, didn't he?"
Lex sagged just a little. "More than any of my numerous ex-wives and lovers. He is--my failure. So I know some of what you must be feeling. But giving up, giving into your failures is not the answer. Superman and I--we fail spectacularly when it comes to each other, but we have quite a successful record between the two of us when it comes to helping others. Let us help you."
I chuckled. "Wouldn't that shock my family, me walking into the office with Lex Luthor on one side of me and Superman on the other. Too bad I didn't think of that when I came up with this crazy scheme. But it's too late now. There's no way I'm going to risk you getting hurt. When Superman returns, we'll just do what we have to, okay?"
"Okay."
Superman returned seconds later and soon we were speeding out over the Pacific Ocean. "Ready?" he asked as he prepared to separate us.
"Ready," Lex said as steadily as he could in the thin air. For some reason Superman had taken us rather high into the atmosphere. Maybe it was to control the explosion.
"Ready," I agreed, and wondered if I would feel anything.
I did.
I felt Lex snatched from my arms. I felt myself falling. Something tugged at me and the fabric of Superman's suit nearly smothered me as a roar sounded from far away. Then Superman pulled away and dragged me behind him with one arm. There was a thud and--Lex's laugh? A taunt about Superman's juggling skills? Whatever else was said faded as I succumbed to the fact I was still alive. Blue sky, blue ocean, blue suit became black as I passed out.
*****
I stared at my de-weaponized office. Superman said the tools weren't conducive to my sense of well-being. Lex said his weapons room needed some sprucing up and directed Superman to take the "goodies" to his Smallville castle. There were eager whispers and suggestive eyebrow-raises about a pool table, and Lex's casual mentioning of his return date to the States. And the way they looked at each other was...encouraging.
Then Lex had set about straightening out my life. He discovered Hiroshi was undermining me and stealing from the company to cover up the expenses of a very Caucasian girlfriend. The family--especially Hiroshi's pregnant wife--wasn't happy. To keep our shame from becoming public, Hiroshi's crimes and subsequent punishment were being handled in-house.
There was a knock at the door. "Come in."
Hiroshi entered, head bowed appropriately. "Your mail, cousin."
I tossed the stack of letters on my desk and glanced at the newspaper. Lex was back in town and I was in the picture with him. Things like that happened when a local company got extensive contracts from businesses the size of LuthorCorp. "You may go, Hiroshi."
He backed out of the room, his head still bowed. "Yes, cousin. Have a good night."
I filled my briefcase with the few items I'd have time to work on before dinner with Lex--and a surprise mystery guest (Lex had winked at me when he mentioned dinner was going to be in a secluded restaurant)--and headed down the elevator to the ground floor. Just as I stepped toward my car, I noticed movement and spied an ant making its way across the concrete. With a smile, I watched until it safely entered a crack in the building's wall. Good on you, I silently cheered.
After all, if it wasn't for good friends, I might have been an ant myself.
The End
Author: Dayspring
Pairing: CLex
Rating: Soda (PG equivalency)-Language
Warnings: Futurefic.
Notes: Written for CLexfest Wave 15--CLex From Someone Else's POV. My Challenge: Foreign Businessman. Ahem. Challenges never go the way I plan; the muses always have their own ideas.
Disclaimer: I own Clark and Lex and the whole Superman fandom. BTW, I adore the cute pink pills I take. And the blue ones. The green ones are nasty, though. I don't take them, and I'm perfectly sane. Perfectly. Can't you tell?
Summary: He really didn't want to come back as an ant.
Ants And Other Higher Lifeforms by Dayspring
I stared at all the "helpful" items my relatives had left in my office: a pair of swords, a ceremonial dagger, a snuff box with an unidentifiable powder inside, a gun with the serial number unobtrusively filed off... Hari kari. Death with honor. Suicide. That which befit a failure. A useless weight on his family. A blight upon the name of Kawabata.
I'd had so much promise, I thought bitterly as I sipped fine, aged scotch that had cost me in the five figures. Fuck them if they thought I was going to leave any of the "good" stuff to divide among themselves after I was gone. Oh yeah, back to "so much promise." Born into a family of businessmen. Educated in the best schools Japan had. Sent to an American business school in order to avoid culture clashes in the future. Princeton, where I'd learned about sex, drugs, and rock and roll. Maybe learned too much.
There was a knock, followed immediately by a dark head poking through a carefully opened door. Eyes caught mine, frowning slightly at their corners. No, not dead yet. Consistently disappointing, aren't I. "May I help you, cousin?"
Hiroshi held out a newspaper. "Just thought you might like to read about Lex Luthor's visit to our island, Kenji. He was a classmate of yours, was he not?"
I'd met Lex at Princeton; had watched him party and thought he'd either be dead, in a mental institution, or destitute on the street by the time he was thirty. Apparently business ineptitude extended into other areas of my life. "Yes, Lex is a friend."
"Successful, brilliant. You must have had good teachers there in the States."
So it must just be you, I heard my cousin silently add. "Lex wasn't in the business school. He was in the sciences."
"Yet, he wrestled LuthorCorp from his father and has made it thrice the business it was."
"I thought we were taught to honor our fathers," I muttered defensively.
Hiroshi rolled his eyes and tossed the paper onto the table with a sneer. "I'm sure you should be busy doing something, cousin. I'll leave you to it."
I stared at the picture of Lex Luthor. Strikingly photogenic. Maybe if I were as pretty... No, looks had nothing to do with it. Lex just had--it. The it that could read people, know what they wanted to hear, know their reactions before they reacted. Lex could walk into a room and instantly know what it took to make everyone in the place bow at his feet. If it wasn't for Superman--
Now, there was the only thorn in Lex's charmed life. What was it about Lex that Superman didn't like? Then again, what was it about Superman that made Lex act out in ways he hadn't since our Princeton days? Sure, Lex had a point about not letting some alien come in and tell everyone how to live, but there had to be a better way to protest that than by doing--really stupid stuff! Why did Superman throw Lex off his game so much? Why didn't Superman just put Lex in a cell somewhere and call it a day? What the hell was it between the two of them? They were so...bitter toward each other. Like a divorced couple battling over custody of the kids--and the kids just happened to be the whole planet.
Divor--No. Could--No. I walked over to the window and stared at the unobstructed view--being fifteen stories up could cause that. The blue of the sky. The blue of the ocean. The blue of Superman's suit. Christ. Lex had fucked anything that moved back in the day, but--Superman? Holy hell. That was definitely a recipe for Armageddon. I grinned, indulgently trying to figure out who topped. Sure, Superman was, well, super, but I just couldn't see Lex taking it up the ass on a regular basis. Besides, people with a lot of power like Superman were known for being subs--kind of balanced things out.
At least Lex had finally bedded someone who wouldn't try to kill him. Superman had actually saved him on occasion. And Lex had done the same.
That was interesting.
"Could," I said to the empty room and my empty glass, "they still have feelings for each other? Not just negative feelings, I mean? What if..." What if I managed to get them back together? Would that satisfy karma enough so that if reincarnation was actually a real thing, then I might not come back as an ant that Hiroshi or one of my other relatives would smush into the concrete and complain about the damage to their twelve hundred American dollar loafers? And even if reincarnation was just a ploy to keep the masses at bay, it would be worth it, dying knowing that I'd done something no one else had thought to do. Maybe Lex Luthor and Superman would take over the world and my relatives would have to kiss their foreign/alien asses. Wouldn't that be the perfect ending to a crappy life?
I smiled--and schemed.
*****
The only thing Japanese about the hotel Lex Luthor stayed in was the manager at the front desk. I put on my best smile and made sure my coat was buttoned. "I'm here to see Lex Luthor," I told the man.
"I'm sorry. Mr. Luthor has a full schedule and cannot--"
"Call him. Tell him that Kenji Kawabata is here to see him. I'm an old friend. I'm sure he'll tell you to escort me to his room."
"I really don't want to bother--"
"Would you rather he found out that his friend was refused access to him?"
The man paled and picked up the phone. I stared disinterestedly around the lobby, hoping like hell that Lex hadn't lost his uncanny ability to remember everyone he'd ever met. Of course, I was prepared to do this the hard way if I had to--
"Mr. Luthor will see you. If you would follow me, sir."
I walked into the elevator, ignoring the now obsequious toad. There was a blond Amazon standing next to the door who looked me over before Lex himself opened the door to his suite. "Ken! Long time no see. Come in." He dismissed the manager with a wave and the Amazon with a nod before closing the door.
"I couldn't let you visit my island without coming to see you," I said. "How are you, old friend?"
"Fine. Sinfully expensive scotch still your poison of choice?"
Not only did Lex remember everyone he'd met, but also their favorite drinks. Was it no wonder he was well on his way to becoming legend? "Sounds great, but first..." I walked to where Lex stood with the decanter in his hand, and wrapped my arms around his back, resting my hands against his taut abs. I figured he'd always taken such good care of his body--drug use notwithstanding--because of his lack of hair. An unnecessary deflection, in my opinion.
Lex froze. "Kenji? Giving switch-hitting a try? I'm flattered."
Hmm. He also remembered which way people swung. With a mind like his he'd soon be unstoppable. Maybe it was best that, if my plan worked, Superman would be a leveling influence on this man. "Lex, I have an experimental explosive device strapped to me. You're now pressed against the trigger mechanism. If you pull away, or I release you, the entire floor of this building will be completely annihilated."
Most people would have panicked hearing those words, but I felt Lex's heartbeat slow to a steady beat beneath my hand. I didn't know whether to be in awe of someone who handled threats so easily, or be sad that Lex was apparently so used to the behavior that it didn't bother him. "No need for the theatrics, Ken. What do you need? You know I'll do anything for my friends."
The guy wasn't even trying to reach a panic button--even though there was nothing the Amazon could do. "I want you to call out for Superman."
Now that caused a reaction. Lex's heart begin to thud anxiously. "Excuse me?"
"I want you to call Superman. You know, like, 'Help, Superman, save me'? It's quite common," I said helpfully.
"You're fucking holding me hostage just so you can meet Superman?" Lex spat. "How fucking dare you!"
The anger was telling. There was definitely something between the alien and the billionaire. "Please, Lex, just do this, okay?"
"Of all the--Ken, this is Japan, not Metropolis. You have your own superheroes, you know."
"Superman," I insisted.
"He's all the way in Kansas."
"Call him."
"Haven't you heard the latest? Superman and I are arch-enemies. What makes you even think he'd care enough to come save me?"
"Haven't you heard the latest, Lex? He always saves you."
"That's," Lex sputtered, "that's because he's really saving the other person, the other criminal. It has nothing to do with me. Don't--"
"Don't what, Lex?"
"Don't fall into the same trap I did, thinking that his saving me means anything."
I nodded, starting to see part of the problem between Earth's two greatest powers. "And what does your saving him time and time again mean?"
Lex was silent.
"Call him."
"I can help you, Kenji. Whatever the problem is, you know I can help."
I rested my chin on Lex's shoulder. He smelled good. If I wasn't dying later on in the day, I'd ask him who mixed his cologne. "Just call him."
Lex gave a deep, long sigh. "Superman, help," he mumbled.
"Anything for your friends, remember?" I goaded. I'd forgotten how stubborn he could be.
"Superman, help me." Louder but certainly not of the necessary volume. However...
The window shattered as a streak of red and blue solidified into the Man of Steel.
Superman stared at us and shook his head. "Another disgruntled employee, Luthor? Or just another crazed romantic interest?"
Well, that was presumptuous. Who knew Superman could be such an asshole?
"Neither." Lex was stiff in my arms. "Just another supposed friend who wants to use me for all he can get. That seems to be a trend in my life."
Superman narrowed his eyes. "What would you know of friendship, Luthor?"
"Apparently nothing," Lex replied tiredly. "Look, Superman, Kenji just wanted to meet you. So, Kenji Kawabata, Superman; Superman, Kenji Kawabata."
"Mr. Kawabata," Superman said politely, "You need to let go of Mr. Luthor."
Lex's body strummed with anger. "If he lets go, we all blow up, you idiotic alien! What do you use those X-ray eyes for? Looking through Lois Lane's lingerie? Trust me, if you've seen one cun--"
I quickly placed my hand over Lex's mouth. This wasn't going well at all. But I'd assumed that Lex would be the more difficult of the two. Everything I'd heard about Superman had led me to believe he was perfect. I should've known better. "Kiss him," I blurted out.
"Excuse me?" Superman said with an arched eyebrow.
"If you kiss Lex, I'll tell you how to save him."
"Mr. Kawabata--"
"Ouch!" I frowned at the red spot on my palm. Lex had bitten me.
"I don't know what kind of drugs you're into now, Ken, but--"
"Shut up, Lex, and let him kiss you, okay? I--I just want to see you kiss before I die."
"You're ill? Why didn't you say something? I know several specialists--"
Lex had always considered his heart a weakness. It was nice to see it hadn't been overthrown like his father. I smiled at Superman. "This is the Lex I know, Superman. I want you to know him, too."
Lex snorted elegantly. "Oh, he knows him, Ken. Ask him about the cars he borrowed and the special favors I did for his friends. Ask him about how I begged him to be honest with me, and how he threw everything I'd ever done for him and his family and friends back in my face."
"Get over yourself, Lex," Superman said, slipping by calling Lex's first name. "So you helped me out when we were younger. I helped you, too. I'm sorry if I and my family couldn't be your moral compass, but you're the one who decided to cross over into the darkness. You only have yourself to blame."
Lex trembled in my arms. "Fuck you!"
"Would I get diamond earrings?" Superman retorted.
I wondered if being an ant might not be too bad. Short life. Little drama. "Kiss!" I demanded, fed up with the two of them.
Lex sighed. "Fine. Kiss me, Super-Man," he simpered in a falsetto, making sure to separate the name into two innuendo-laced words.
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Superman replied, then stilled when Lex did the same.
Superman--Stone Cold Bitch. Where was the press when you needed them?
"Oh, shit, Lex. I'm sorry. That was uncalled for," Superman said softly.
"This whole situation is uncalled for," Lex said in resignation. "Just kiss me and end this. Do this one thing for me, Cla--Superman. Then we'll never have to speak again."
Superman nodded and took a step forward. He hesitantly leaned over and pecked Lex on the lips, then looked at me expectantly. I shook my head. He wasn't getting more than a one point two from the Japanese judge for that. I wanted at least a five.
Superman kissed Lex again, a little more aggressively. Maybe a six.
Lex kissed back. A ten, eleven, twelve...
I didn't want to interrupt, but getting felt up by Superman who was really trying to feel up someone else--just wasn't working for me. They reluctantly separated. Superman was blushing and Lex dropped his head in some kind of defeat.
They were beautiful together--even if I was the only person who'd ever see it. I wondered if I'd remember it when I was an ant. "Fly us out over the ocean, Superman," I said. "I'll let go and you can snatch Lex safely out of the way while I blow up."
"Kenji!" Lex protested.
"I'm a failure, Lex, and a burden on my family. It's the only honorable thing for me to do."
Superman looked at Lex and gave a slight nod. Lex took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "All right, Ken. We'll do it your way. But first, just tell me what this was all about."
"Validating a worthless life."
"I don't understand," Superman said.
"Neither of you do. And that's a sad reality I must face in these last few minutes of my life."
Lex glanced oddly at Superman. "Why don't you go find a spot that's far enough away not to cause any damage?"
Superman returned the glance. "It'll only take a moment." He whooshed out of the room.
"Kenji, thank you for making the effort. I don't know how you discerned--"
"I don't know how others miss it."
"It was a long time ago," Lex said, shrugging, "and people have always been willing to see exactly what others want them to see."
"He hurt you, didn't he?"
Lex sagged just a little. "More than any of my numerous ex-wives and lovers. He is--my failure. So I know some of what you must be feeling. But giving up, giving into your failures is not the answer. Superman and I--we fail spectacularly when it comes to each other, but we have quite a successful record between the two of us when it comes to helping others. Let us help you."
I chuckled. "Wouldn't that shock my family, me walking into the office with Lex Luthor on one side of me and Superman on the other. Too bad I didn't think of that when I came up with this crazy scheme. But it's too late now. There's no way I'm going to risk you getting hurt. When Superman returns, we'll just do what we have to, okay?"
"Okay."
Superman returned seconds later and soon we were speeding out over the Pacific Ocean. "Ready?" he asked as he prepared to separate us.
"Ready," Lex said as steadily as he could in the thin air. For some reason Superman had taken us rather high into the atmosphere. Maybe it was to control the explosion.
"Ready," I agreed, and wondered if I would feel anything.
I did.
I felt Lex snatched from my arms. I felt myself falling. Something tugged at me and the fabric of Superman's suit nearly smothered me as a roar sounded from far away. Then Superman pulled away and dragged me behind him with one arm. There was a thud and--Lex's laugh? A taunt about Superman's juggling skills? Whatever else was said faded as I succumbed to the fact I was still alive. Blue sky, blue ocean, blue suit became black as I passed out.
*****
I stared at my de-weaponized office. Superman said the tools weren't conducive to my sense of well-being. Lex said his weapons room needed some sprucing up and directed Superman to take the "goodies" to his Smallville castle. There were eager whispers and suggestive eyebrow-raises about a pool table, and Lex's casual mentioning of his return date to the States. And the way they looked at each other was...encouraging.
Then Lex had set about straightening out my life. He discovered Hiroshi was undermining me and stealing from the company to cover up the expenses of a very Caucasian girlfriend. The family--especially Hiroshi's pregnant wife--wasn't happy. To keep our shame from becoming public, Hiroshi's crimes and subsequent punishment were being handled in-house.
There was a knock at the door. "Come in."
Hiroshi entered, head bowed appropriately. "Your mail, cousin."
I tossed the stack of letters on my desk and glanced at the newspaper. Lex was back in town and I was in the picture with him. Things like that happened when a local company got extensive contracts from businesses the size of LuthorCorp. "You may go, Hiroshi."
He backed out of the room, his head still bowed. "Yes, cousin. Have a good night."
I filled my briefcase with the few items I'd have time to work on before dinner with Lex--and a surprise mystery guest (Lex had winked at me when he mentioned dinner was going to be in a secluded restaurant)--and headed down the elevator to the ground floor. Just as I stepped toward my car, I noticed movement and spied an ant making its way across the concrete. With a smile, I watched until it safely entered a crack in the building's wall. Good on you, I silently cheered.
After all, if it wasn't for good friends, I might have been an ant myself.
The End