If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise...
Listening to bluegrass on the radio the other day I heard a song in which the artist claims that if the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise he'll return to his love. I've thought about it and I think that the phrase "If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise" should be used often in day to day speech.
"When is your baby due?"
"If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise, mid March."
"What time will his plane arrive?"
"If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise, about 9:15."
"What's the sales tax in this county?"
"If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise, 9.875%."
Mom actually dared me to use it whenever answering questions to first-years during orientation. She also wants me to blare bluegrass in my room while they move in, so that they hear the music and see the sign on my door that says I'm from Oklahoma. I guess she wants them to loose respect for me as soon as possible. I told her I'd need a hat and a belt buckle before they believe any of it.
The Meltons came over Saturday for dinner. Phill started at TU last month and they had to come buy him a tuxedo for orchestra. The kid is taller than me. When did that happen? I'm mad. Now the only thing I have on him is that I'm older than him. Yea. The Meltons bought football season tickets. That seems so weird to me. Phill graduated from PC North, one of the largest schools in the state, and I can't picture him going to any games. Heck, even I went to a PC Original bonfire once. I'm not sure why I was there. It was while Patrick was a student there. I must have been about eight. I remember that it was on Council, in a clearing in the woods across the street from Wiley Post Airport. Some guy showed up with a giant papier-mâché Putnam City High pirate on the roof of his car. Claremore bonfires were so crappy. Didn't they usually get canceled? And the ones that weren't were in the stadium's parking lot at like four o'clock in the afternoon. Hey zebra football team! The Cassion Song? Yeah. It sucks. It sucks hard. It's the pep band equivalent of power chords.
Dad thinks that the Meltons got football tickets because Phillip joined the marching band. I haven't heard different, so it could very well be true, but Phill plays cello. I guess they could rig up some sort of dolly or wagon, or he could be in the pit, but I doubt it. So TU is playing Navy? So? Chicago plays Case Reserve. And when I pointed this out to the Meltons Mr. Melton says, "Case Reserve? Aren't they division three?" Since when did the Meltons become football fans? And yes, they are division three. I don't keep up with TU football, but I'm sure that they have a much better chance of beating Navy than the Maroons have of beating Case. Go Hurricanes. Go.
The Meltons made fun of me for going to mass. Phill mentioned that he attends a chapel the Presbys have at TU. Is TU affiliated with the Presbyterian church? I'll have to look that up. Anyway he mentioned that he's still getting used to the fact that they only serve communion once a month. I told him that the Disciples at Chicago are loosely affiliated with the Church of Christ (as odd of an affiliation as that is) and the only time I ever had communion was at the Maundy Thursday service. So of course I'm Little Miss Mass who needs a chalice to remind me of my faith. I've been at church six hours plus a week this entire summer and have yet to attend one service. At least in the nursery I get communion. I still haven't found a church in Chicago that will give me that.
Dad is watching Drumline again. It's such a hilariously bad film. The way the spacing is always off and none of the bands do any curve formations, just lines and boxes, and the way that everyone is at attention, but never quite the same attention is laughable. It's as if the filmmakers assembled bands from a bunch of different schools and assumed everybody would march the same. Although I must admit I'm jealous of the way that everybody gets to face the way their feet are facing. It's been almost two years since I last tripped over a French horn, but I still dream of running one over in my car. I mean the instrument, not the player. Imagine the fantastic crunch it would make. Ahhh.
I'd like to take a moment to thank Cartoon Network for 4:30 a.m. Captain Planet. "Loot and plunder? We should have known." Ah, sometimes the insomnia is worth it.
"When is your baby due?"
"If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise, mid March."
"What time will his plane arrive?"
"If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise, about 9:15."
"What's the sales tax in this county?"
"If the good Lord's willing and the creek don't rise, 9.875%."
Mom actually dared me to use it whenever answering questions to first-years during orientation. She also wants me to blare bluegrass in my room while they move in, so that they hear the music and see the sign on my door that says I'm from Oklahoma. I guess she wants them to loose respect for me as soon as possible. I told her I'd need a hat and a belt buckle before they believe any of it.
The Meltons came over Saturday for dinner. Phill started at TU last month and they had to come buy him a tuxedo for orchestra. The kid is taller than me. When did that happen? I'm mad. Now the only thing I have on him is that I'm older than him. Yea. The Meltons bought football season tickets. That seems so weird to me. Phill graduated from PC North, one of the largest schools in the state, and I can't picture him going to any games. Heck, even I went to a PC Original bonfire once. I'm not sure why I was there. It was while Patrick was a student there. I must have been about eight. I remember that it was on Council, in a clearing in the woods across the street from Wiley Post Airport. Some guy showed up with a giant papier-mâché Putnam City High pirate on the roof of his car. Claremore bonfires were so crappy. Didn't they usually get canceled? And the ones that weren't were in the stadium's parking lot at like four o'clock in the afternoon. Hey zebra football team! The Cassion Song? Yeah. It sucks. It sucks hard. It's the pep band equivalent of power chords.
Dad thinks that the Meltons got football tickets because Phillip joined the marching band. I haven't heard different, so it could very well be true, but Phill plays cello. I guess they could rig up some sort of dolly or wagon, or he could be in the pit, but I doubt it. So TU is playing Navy? So? Chicago plays Case Reserve. And when I pointed this out to the Meltons Mr. Melton says, "Case Reserve? Aren't they division three?" Since when did the Meltons become football fans? And yes, they are division three. I don't keep up with TU football, but I'm sure that they have a much better chance of beating Navy than the Maroons have of beating Case. Go Hurricanes. Go.
The Meltons made fun of me for going to mass. Phill mentioned that he attends a chapel the Presbys have at TU. Is TU affiliated with the Presbyterian church? I'll have to look that up. Anyway he mentioned that he's still getting used to the fact that they only serve communion once a month. I told him that the Disciples at Chicago are loosely affiliated with the Church of Christ (as odd of an affiliation as that is) and the only time I ever had communion was at the Maundy Thursday service. So of course I'm Little Miss Mass who needs a chalice to remind me of my faith. I've been at church six hours plus a week this entire summer and have yet to attend one service. At least in the nursery I get communion. I still haven't found a church in Chicago that will give me that.
Dad is watching Drumline again. It's such a hilariously bad film. The way the spacing is always off and none of the bands do any curve formations, just lines and boxes, and the way that everyone is at attention, but never quite the same attention is laughable. It's as if the filmmakers assembled bands from a bunch of different schools and assumed everybody would march the same. Although I must admit I'm jealous of the way that everybody gets to face the way their feet are facing. It's been almost two years since I last tripped over a French horn, but I still dream of running one over in my car. I mean the instrument, not the player. Imagine the fantastic crunch it would make. Ahhh.
I'd like to take a moment to thank Cartoon Network for 4:30 a.m. Captain Planet. "Loot and plunder? We should have known." Ah, sometimes the insomnia is worth it.