(no subject)
I have a few things to write about. First is the fact that I was deceiving myself for such a long time with the idea that God is simply w will-less essence of existence. But I realize how that would be unloving and would contradict other truths revealed by God to me. That would contradict that God wills absolute truth, and would make prayer, devotion, and praise useless. Also, it breeds pride. The next issue is that of what I’m supposed to be doing right now. Speaking with Adriane’s aunt about the leading thing helped me to see that because of the things I have experienced and the lessons I have learned from those experiences. It is possible for me to prepare certain situations that would allow for God to work through me to help other people. These experiences create a foundation of relation. I can relate with certain people who have experienced, or are still experiencing the same things I have. And that has to do with another truth revealed to me: that I can not help anyone, including myself. I can only make preparations in hopes of a Gift from God being received. I can continue in prayer and prepare myself for a Gift from God that he may or may not give to me. The same goes for my interactions with other people. I can build that bridge of chance that makes it possible for God to work through me. But if God doesn’t want to, then God won’t. Does that render those preparations meaningless of God does not work how I planned? Of course not. Those preparations create loving relationships. And I guess God still works through me, just not the way I expected, because if I pray, God will answer my prayers. Prayer works, and is very powerful. The preparations I make always produce fruits if I plant the seeds with the right intentions. But that is only capable through the grace and mercy of God. If I pray, God will have mercy and respond. I feel my writings lately will deal mostly with prayer. I’m reading the Interior Castle which will be affecting me. So another truth so casually pointed out by God to me over the trip, is probably the importance of Jesus being the Word of God. I realize, that Jesus spread the Word of God by BEING the Word of God. The Word of God was communicated through his very charitable actions. His evangelism was not marked by words that struck fear into the hearts of men. His evangelism was performing miracles, building friendships, and showing mercy through the miracles and friendships by humbly serving. The Word of God was shown best as a Man who lived among us, not through the bible. With this truth recognized, I will be striving to allow the divine nature that I share with God to take over. I will be making preparations through discipline and obedience in prayer and charity. I will stop what I am doing if moved to pray, and I will begin praying on the hour every hour that I am awake. I will begin going to church regularly, I will read the bible at least once a day, and I will try to stay progressive with the Christian literature I read. I will make preparations to be a medium of love so God can work through me to help those I love, while praying for them. I will also be sure that every minute will be used for valuable things, whether that be prayer, talking god talk with friends, reading or writing. God, please help me.