My own little classified section
It's been a while. So I suppose I should ramble on like I usually do.
First, the bad news (excluding aforementioned concerns):
I'm still having some [milder] anxiety.
I'm lonely a lot. This isn't a problem when I'm with good friends and such, but nights get rough sometimes.
I don't like the thought of more medication - it always makes me wonder if I'm really me, and how long I'll depend on it.
With that out of the way, some better stuff:
My psychiatrist and I upped my Zoloft dosage, so perhaps that will help with anxiety and the resultant mild depression. I just have to give it a little bit of time to kick in.
I got to see my family this weekend and had a lot of fun. I'm glad they're so close.
I collected my first plant for systematics this week. One down, probably like 40 more to go.
I like working in Prof. Saha's lab. I feel like the experience I'm getting will do me a lot of good, and I like the people in the lab. It's by far better than sitting in the dorm accomplishing nothing all afternoon, plus I like doing things during which I must wear latex gloves. I think they make me feel important.
Classes are going well, and I think I'm getting nicely adjusted in terms of when to do what. I have my first midterm in Organic Chem next Wednesday, so we'll soon know just how adjusted I am.
Every time I think I'm doing better, I seem to get numb, and then I no longer think I'm doing better. This is not a cycle I'd like to continue. Optomism and pessimism come and go like the wind, as do general good feelings. I really hope things start improving soon, because if they don't, I'll have to look at some more drastic changes than a 50 mg increase. And I simply don't want to deal with the many aspects of that possibility. I might need some help though.