present island
summary:
i am a very well-adjusted 22yearold. i have recently graduated college, have a shitty entry-level IT job that does not pay me quite enough to live on but i took it because i was planning for a fantasy. i am doing what i can to make myself enjoy where i have arrived rather than plotting a course to somewhere else, largely due to continued dependence on the initial fantasy. the word everyone knows but noone i saying yet: futility. the advantage i have over most 22yearolds is that i am no longer convinced i am immortal, so self-destruction is not really so strong an impulse. i decide on many days that i am willing to take what is offered, whether for good or bad but i am still taking preservation-based turns when possible with the knowledge that no matter what gets wrecked, it is only temporary. this is liberating.
hell would be eternal. eternity makes calculation of your balance difficult. how do you measure out your portion of the inclusive superset that always slips out and re-envelopes what you just counted? dissatisfaction with an eternal life necessitates escape and plus, destruction of what would otherwise persist is a grand and affecting gesture. but we're not playing that game. this isn't hell, it is merely displeasure with a finite end. when you can see the edges, it is easier to give the impression that you are affecting change... pissing into an endless sea? you'll never make a difference. you're better off pitching yourself in and hoping to wash ashore in an exciting manner (hint: wear a funny hat!). but i'm pissing in a public pool. i see the edges and can reckon how much i've contributed. in a public pool, you don't need to drown in order for people to take note...
and this is the key: there are other people swimming along too. eternity, filled up which infinite singularities all running free, gives you no way out. each of us may as well be peeing in his own sea (it changes each instant) and those rare instances in which we find a warm spot are not magical: they are the mechanical effect of a repugnant biological cause. they are unexplained beyond a chain and only by assuming that i am each peer (all at once) can i sort out any kind of end-point. admittedly, in this condition, i concede that i cannot be everyone at once lest i am labeled 'crazy.' but i do maintain that i can do a sufficient job to predict another warm spot to the extent that i can emulate god and, despite the fact that fundamental to the condition in question is that the sea is not eternal, i attempt to do so.
but there is not an infinite amount of time to observe an infinite number of peers. why am i in this pool? why did that guy pee on me? if i am interchangeable with him and he with every other peer in the sea, then i can chart the reasons back through chains of effects over the course of eternity (or near approximation). if there are edges to the pool and we are within it, then more work can be done. rather than looking to interchangeable iterations of urine flowing from urethrae indistinguishable from one another, why not look at the face? maybe my metaphor is over extended at this point but the face is important nonetheless. do you continue on the course of endless iteration that will take you to the place that does not exist only if spend more time than you have doing so? this is immature...
a life of endless comparison of one fundamentally interchangeable unit to another is a life that invites further comparison, not satisfaction or arrival at the superior election. in such a condition, you cannot issue a call that can be satisfactorily answered... it can only be echoed off into eternity. you can see the vanishing point to which the echoes recede (to mix sensory metaphors) as the answer but that too is dependent on childish immortality. self-destruction (or an infantile sort, at least) is not necessary if everyone is willing to ask and answer... hm, maybe all this urine is infantile too i think that it too is more than an interchangeable metaphoric unit. charles fourier encourages us to enjoy urinating (and to let the old people have sex) and ignoring this call does not seem like the correct action for a self-preserving creature who now lives in 'suburbia'
i am a very well-adjusted 22yearold. i have recently graduated college, have a shitty entry-level IT job that does not pay me quite enough to live on but i took it because i was planning for a fantasy. i am doing what i can to make myself enjoy where i have arrived rather than plotting a course to somewhere else, largely due to continued dependence on the initial fantasy. the word everyone knows but noone i saying yet: futility. the advantage i have over most 22yearolds is that i am no longer convinced i am immortal, so self-destruction is not really so strong an impulse. i decide on many days that i am willing to take what is offered, whether for good or bad but i am still taking preservation-based turns when possible with the knowledge that no matter what gets wrecked, it is only temporary. this is liberating.
hell would be eternal. eternity makes calculation of your balance difficult. how do you measure out your portion of the inclusive superset that always slips out and re-envelopes what you just counted? dissatisfaction with an eternal life necessitates escape and plus, destruction of what would otherwise persist is a grand and affecting gesture. but we're not playing that game. this isn't hell, it is merely displeasure with a finite end. when you can see the edges, it is easier to give the impression that you are affecting change... pissing into an endless sea? you'll never make a difference. you're better off pitching yourself in and hoping to wash ashore in an exciting manner (hint: wear a funny hat!). but i'm pissing in a public pool. i see the edges and can reckon how much i've contributed. in a public pool, you don't need to drown in order for people to take note...
and this is the key: there are other people swimming along too. eternity, filled up which infinite singularities all running free, gives you no way out. each of us may as well be peeing in his own sea (it changes each instant) and those rare instances in which we find a warm spot are not magical: they are the mechanical effect of a repugnant biological cause. they are unexplained beyond a chain and only by assuming that i am each peer (all at once) can i sort out any kind of end-point. admittedly, in this condition, i concede that i cannot be everyone at once lest i am labeled 'crazy.' but i do maintain that i can do a sufficient job to predict another warm spot to the extent that i can emulate god and, despite the fact that fundamental to the condition in question is that the sea is not eternal, i attempt to do so.
but there is not an infinite amount of time to observe an infinite number of peers. why am i in this pool? why did that guy pee on me? if i am interchangeable with him and he with every other peer in the sea, then i can chart the reasons back through chains of effects over the course of eternity (or near approximation). if there are edges to the pool and we are within it, then more work can be done. rather than looking to interchangeable iterations of urine flowing from urethrae indistinguishable from one another, why not look at the face? maybe my metaphor is over extended at this point but the face is important nonetheless. do you continue on the course of endless iteration that will take you to the place that does not exist only if spend more time than you have doing so? this is immature...
a life of endless comparison of one fundamentally interchangeable unit to another is a life that invites further comparison, not satisfaction or arrival at the superior election. in such a condition, you cannot issue a call that can be satisfactorily answered... it can only be echoed off into eternity. you can see the vanishing point to which the echoes recede (to mix sensory metaphors) as the answer but that too is dependent on childish immortality. self-destruction (or an infantile sort, at least) is not necessary if everyone is willing to ask and answer... hm, maybe all this urine is infantile too i think that it too is more than an interchangeable metaphoric unit. charles fourier encourages us to enjoy urinating (and to let the old people have sex) and ignoring this call does not seem like the correct action for a self-preserving creature who now lives in 'suburbia'