The Devil’s Game Designer’s Dictionary
Ambrose Bierce was one of the 19th century’s greatest minds and sharpest wits and his most prominent legacy was his Devil’s Dictionary. Not only does it continue to delight readers, it has also prompted others of the passing 120 years since it was published to add entries in a similar style, so I thought I would have a go today with some new entries. I encourage you to add or email me your own.
Asymmetrical: A magic word that helps dispel the wrath of Playtesters (q.v).
BGG Rating: A device fitted to a game by a website to announce how impressive the owner of the game is.
Broken: A state occupied by games which you do not own.
Complexity: A device fitted to games by a website that announces how clever the owner of the game is.
Expansion: A way to solve the problem that game prices are too small by making game rules too big.
Heavy: a game too complex for your tastes. The opposite is Light, a game too simple for your tastes.
Kickstarter: an alchemical process that turns buckets of cold cash into BGG hotness.
Luck: A demon trapped in games by wicked designers that causes you to lose and your opponent to win. Not to be confused with Skill, which does the opposite.
Max Player Count: a number equal to one less than the number of people at the game table.
Multiplayer Solitaire: A situation where your inability to make small talk is now a game designers fault.
OP: A demon that is associated with Luck (q.v.). Always possessed of items used by your opponent but is entirely the fault of the game designer and suggests the existence of Broken (q.v.).
Playtime: an imaginary number, bearing no relationship to reality.
Playtester: A creature that is rewarded with attention every time it complains and as such has learned to somehow find fault in absolute perfection.
Prototype: a miraculous item that always arrives by mail the day after the trade show or playtest event
Publisher: Individual who does not design, test, illustrate, lay out, print, ship, market, promote or sell your game and takes fifty percent for this service. The other fifty percent goes to the Distributor.
Quarterbacking: A situation where your inability to discuss things is a game designers fault.
Replayability: A key factor in determining the BGG Rating of a game that will never be played in the first place.
Solo Mode: A situation where your inability to make friends is now a game designers fault.
Sleeves: Plastic sheathes sold to prevent wear and tear occurring to cards that are never used more than once.
Winning Strategy aka Strat: A numbered item. If a game has too many of them it is a Point Salad. If it has too few it is Broken. If it has the right amount, it is Solvable, which is another kind of Broken (q.v).
Unbalanced: A state occupied by games you own, but do not win.
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