Cry Pretty
I don't get to write in here as much as I would like. I don't really have any good excuse. But nevertheless, here I am writing in it.
My grandfather passed away last Friday. My family and I were planning on seeing both him and my grandmom the next day. I got a call from my grandmom early Friday morning letting me know that my grandfather is in the hospital and will have to cancel our plans to come up. Not more than an hour later I got a text from my family's group chat that he had passed away. I don't truly know the details of what exactly happened. Just that he passed away and it was unexpected. Although, it haven't truly been unexpected. He was ninety-one years old. He has been on the decline in health for the past three years. I took photos every chance I got with him. The last time I saw him was at my son's 3rd birthday party. My parents were able to bring them down and I think they really enjoyed themselves. It was their first time coming to see our new house and my grandfather was really interested in our garage and how much he would use something that big when he was able to work still. He used to make wrought-iron railing and having a garage that size, the things he could do with it. I just have to cherish the many many memories I have of him.
With his passing, my moods have become so erratic and I wish I knew how to control them. It's just been so wild and I find myself outside of the situation, seeing it from another side and its rather freaky. I feel like I have no control anymore. I just feel like happiness is so far gone. I don't know how to get it back, but again not sure if I want it back. I just don't how to control this all mess. It has become a mess and my kids and husband are so grateful to dealing with it all but I am just fearful.
What can I do?
My grandfather passed away last Friday. My family and I were planning on seeing both him and my grandmom the next day. I got a call from my grandmom early Friday morning letting me know that my grandfather is in the hospital and will have to cancel our plans to come up. Not more than an hour later I got a text from my family's group chat that he had passed away. I don't truly know the details of what exactly happened. Just that he passed away and it was unexpected. Although, it haven't truly been unexpected. He was ninety-one years old. He has been on the decline in health for the past three years. I took photos every chance I got with him. The last time I saw him was at my son's 3rd birthday party. My parents were able to bring them down and I think they really enjoyed themselves. It was their first time coming to see our new house and my grandfather was really interested in our garage and how much he would use something that big when he was able to work still. He used to make wrought-iron railing and having a garage that size, the things he could do with it. I just have to cherish the many many memories I have of him.
With his passing, my moods have become so erratic and I wish I knew how to control them. It's just been so wild and I find myself outside of the situation, seeing it from another side and its rather freaky. I feel like I have no control anymore. I just feel like happiness is so far gone. I don't know how to get it back, but again not sure if I want it back. I just don't how to control this all mess. It has become a mess and my kids and husband are so grateful to dealing with it all but I am just fearful.
What can I do?