Ode To A Site Steward

Nov 04, 2008 03:20

For those of you who don't know, I work at a university as a Site Steward (which is why I post at stupid times of the morning). Now a Site Steward is a basic scut-monkey for the university. We're expected to lock buildings, sort out the mail, move boxes, do some maintenance and arm wrestle any idiots that try and cause problems on site (that bit's fun)! Anyway, my colleague Jeff (who is also my fishing buddy) and I wrote a little poem about being a Site Steward (crossed with being a bouncer - which we kind of do as well) and I thought I'd share it with ya'll! The original idea came from an email attachment that was sent round but we changed it extensively so that it now appears nothing like the original!

Ode To A Site Steward

Last night as I lay sleeping
I died or so it seemed
I thought I'd gone to heaven
But I was only in a dream
Up there St. Peter met me
Before those pearly gates
"I need to check your ID, my son
So please stand there and wait"

Being the Bosses doorman
Is St. Peter's sacred job
So while he read my record
I stood waiting for his nod
But with a frown he turned and said
"Your record appears quite bad
All that drinking and the smoking
Makes the Owner feel quite sad
Your life of carefree sin
Has left your file in dis-repair
I don't think you'll fit in up here
You'll be better off Down There!"

There appeared no case to argue
As he has the final say
My sins had found me out it seemed
On this my judgment day
But as I turned away
To face those fiery depths
I heard a sigh behind me
As St. Peter drew a breath
He said, "The footnotes of your record
Mean that up here you now may dwell
For you used to be a Site Steward
And you've done your time in hell!"

poem, site steward, jeff

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