i hoped for better

[dckysgrl]

broke down in the car ride home for work. im surprised it didnt happen while at work, but somehow i managed to put forth the strength not to let outside stuff influence my work day. my parents met me for lunch today to talk about my move and pretty much made me feel 16 again. totally useless, totally incapable of doing anything good or right for myself and mostly heartbroken. so much so that i didnt eat lunch and i got up and left without saying goodbye. i know i do good things for myself. i know i am extremely capable and smart and creative, but somehow those things are lost in their eyes. i just hate the fact that i have grown so much in the past 6 years and in one conversation they have the ability to make me feel horrible. i suppose it will always be this way, but i keep holding out hope that someday it wont hurt me.

if anyone wants to call or hangout tonight, i could use a friend.