Holy Christ, Shawn Ain't Dead!
And it's true, I'm not. It's been... what, three months? Rough three months. There's all kinds of things I could and probably should post about - Comic-con being the big one - but...
Okay, it's like this. ksorcere has been carrying me for over a year. It's been incredibly hard and incredibly stressful for her and she's sick of it. And I can't blame her. So... at the urging of my family... I'm doing something I swore to myself I would never do. I'm applying for public assistance.
My pride is kinda shot as a result.
I know, of course, all the reasons why it shouldn't be. I know just how much depression has kicked my ass. I know that by its very nature it undercuts all of my attempts to help myself, leaving me with no choice other than to ask others for help. I know I'm hardly alone in this. But I still... look in the mirror and see a failure. Doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense, it's how it is.
So now... here I am. Publicly admitting that whatever it is that most people have that lets them deal with life... I ain't got. Which is a hell of a hard admission to make.
I dunno what happens from here. So... bear with me, I guess.
Okay, it's like this. ksorcere has been carrying me for over a year. It's been incredibly hard and incredibly stressful for her and she's sick of it. And I can't blame her. So... at the urging of my family... I'm doing something I swore to myself I would never do. I'm applying for public assistance.
My pride is kinda shot as a result.
I know, of course, all the reasons why it shouldn't be. I know just how much depression has kicked my ass. I know that by its very nature it undercuts all of my attempts to help myself, leaving me with no choice other than to ask others for help. I know I'm hardly alone in this. But I still... look in the mirror and see a failure. Doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense, it's how it is.
So now... here I am. Publicly admitting that whatever it is that most people have that lets them deal with life... I ain't got. Which is a hell of a hard admission to make.
I dunno what happens from here. So... bear with me, I guess.