Man Down (rp with meet_thunder and on_jennys_terms)

[dc_knight]

She's just about to wake James up from his nap when her cell phone rings. It's her generic ringtone and she'd let it go to voicemail but Leroy isn't the only one with instincts and her gut has been churning since that day he came in and told her Vance wanted him undercover. She barely trusts Jenny any more than she does Vance right now and since

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[dc_knight]

Heather stares at her sister for a long moment, taking in the resigned set of her shoulders and the way her eyes didn't gleam with their usual spark. Jenny doesn't know why she's here, why she's standing in a hospital waiting area with agents she'd never see again. And then it hits her. It hits her hard enough that she has to cross her arms again, not in defiance but just to keep her ribs in one place.

This isn't her sister. This emotionless tower is not the woman who took over at NCIS, full of dreams to make the agency better. She isn't the woman who left Paris in tears, wondering if she'd made the right choice. This woman is not the same woman she thinks of as her sister and it makes her wonder exactly when everything changed because this robot before her did not emerge overnight.

What is between them has nothing, and yet everything, to do with Leroy. What is between them is about a rift that began ages ago. A look in Jenny's eyes at their father's funeral. A turn in her emotions. A change in the way she behaved. It's like her life is flashing before her eyes as she sees everything crash into this woman, her sister, who isn't her sister at all. She could be if she wanted to be, but she has to want to talk and open up and that's never been Jenny's strong suit. She likes sidekicks, not partners.

So they're staring at each other across three feet of lobby that might as well be three miles of impassible canyon. "Fair enough," is all she can think to say. She needs to sit down. Her ribs still ache and holding James on and off all day hasn't helped and she's exhausted. Instinct tells her to just go sit down. If Jenny needs to, or wants to, she'll take the next step. So she turns and walks back to where James is now happily nibbling on something that resembles chicken strips and playing with the car Leroy made for him. She roots in her bag for her tyloneol and swallows the pills with the last of the water in her bottle.

Where the hell are the doctors? What's taking so long?

[on_jennys_terms]

Jenny watches Heather, realizing the younger woman is putting out there the opportunity for Jen to take the next step, to potentially open lines of communication. But Jen wants no part in anything that could even be mistaken for amnesty. She has no desire to get any closer to Heather than she has to, nor does Jen want to have any kind of conversation with her sister. She views Heather with such deep-seated spite and burning hate, but Jenny won't admit--even to herself--that what burns in her chest like a knot in flames isn't so much hate but jealousy.

Instead, she turns away from Heather and walks back over to the nurse, leaning against the counter. If this had happened six months ago, she wouldn't be able to keep the worry out of her eyes and off her face. But as she leans in, she doesn't feel even a shred of concern for Gibbs. She's really starting to feel like getting back on the plane and going home to her boyfriend and her dog and completely, finally, washing her hands of this man.

"Since you won't let me back to see him, at least get a doctor out here to talk to us." Not just to talk to her, but to 'us'. Because 'me' is too intimate, too close. And she just doesn't care that much.

[dc_knight]

The nurse gives her a look. "The Doctor is in with this guy that you're so worried about. When he's done in surgery, he'll come talk," she checks her sheet and then decides to not weight into what is clearly family drama. "He'll come explain what is going on. Until then, Miss Director, you might want to sit down. It could be a while."

Heather overhears what the nurse says to her sister and sighs quietly. He's been in there for god knows how long and it's still going on. The longer it goes on the worse off he is. She gets how it works. Her head is starting to hurt and it occurs to her that she hasn't eaten since breakfast and it's ticking past dinner. Her phone rings; it's Caroline promising to come and take James and asking if she needs anything. What she needs is for Leroy to be okay and for her sister to come talk to her. Right now, neither option seems like it's going to come about.

James has left a couple of chicken strips and she picks on up, nibbling at the cold fried food. It isn't great, but it's calories, and it settles her head. She wants to look back at her sister, but she's as stubborn as Jenny. If Jenny wants to wallow, she can. There's so much more going on than Leroy, but if Jenny can't bring herself to talk, Heather can't force her to.

"James, Caroline is going to come get you okay?"

He looks up at her, his eyes wide and scared. "What about Leroy?"

"Mommy's gonna stay with him, okay? I'll bring him home safe." She strokes his red hair, looking into the eyes he inherited from his father. "I'll bring him home."

She can feel every eye in the room on her and she hates it. All she wants is for the doctor to come and talk to them.

[on_jennys_terms]

Miss Director. She's tempted to make the nurse's life hell for a day just for that, but it requires more effort than it's worth, so Jen turns away without a word. If she'd gotten here before her sister, she might've made a stink about this whole not knowing thing, but the cards have been dealt the way they are and she's not about to ruffle her feathers. Jen crosses her arms and looks back into the waiting area, weighing her options. She can sit with the traitor or she can stand like an idiot in heels. Or she could leave, but for some reason, she hasn't done that yet. Moving past Heather, she decides to grab a seat, the one seat in the whole waiting area that gives her a view of everything. She crosses her legs at the knee, folds her hands in her lap, and waits silently. Ball is in your court, Heather.

[dc_knight]

Across the room, Heather stares at her sister, not understanding anything about her actions but not angry about them either. She wants Jenny here, even if her sister hates her. Even if they never speak, she wants her sister here. And what Jenny doesn't get is that Leroy would want her here too. He loves her.

She pulls her hair out of it's ponytail and shakes it a bit before putting it back into a low knot at the nape of her neck. The longer things go on, the more tired she gets. Coffee would be good. For her and Jenny. But she's not sure Jenny would even take it. Maybe after Caroline picks up James. Maybe she can send the nice agent to get her coffee.

Minutes tick by and she alternates her view between her sister and her son. The elevator door opens and Caroline steps off, hurrying over.

"How is he?" She kneels down to put her hand on James' back, giving the little boy reassurance while she looks at Heather.

"Still in surgery ..." Heather lets the realization drop off. This isn't good.

"Don't worry. I've known him two months and I know he's invincible." She takes James' bag. "And don't worry, you take whatever time you need."

"Thank you, Caroline."

"And take care of yourself. You're still healing up yourself, sweetheart." She looks down at James. "Come on, bud. We've got movies at my place."

"Bud whaddabout Leroy?" James is tired.

"He's gotta get better so he can come home and play with you." Caroline hefts him up onto her hip. "Say good night to your mom."

Heather kisses James goodbye and then rubs her eyes tiredly. Again, she looks over at Jenny.

[on_jennys_terms]

Jenny just looks back coolly, but mentally, she's rolling her eyes. Sure, fuss over Heather the Hapless Victim and the Gallant Knight who saved her from the perils of a boring marriage. Fuck that. She uncrosses and recrosses her legs the other direction, wondering how long it'll take Heather to start in on her again.

[dc_knight]

Heather walks over to the coffee pot next to the nurses' desk and pours two cups of what she is sure is sludge. If Jenny says no, there's a very sweet agent who deserves a cup. Slowly, ignoring the eyes that she knows are watching them, she walks over to her sister and holds out the cup. She doesn't speak. Not yet. They aren't there yet. She isn't even sure if they're at this point. But it's a peace offering.

[on_jennys_terms]

She considers the offering for a moment. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see it for what it is, but she has no real reason to turn it down and she's never been rude a day in her life. Plus, coffee, even the muddy kind, would be nice right now. So she accepts the offer with a neutral, "Thank you."

[dc_knight]

Heather doesn't know what to do now that the coffee's been taken, but she took it. If it's a step or not she isn't sure, but she took it. Rather than stand there like an idiot, she walks back to her bag and pulls out her phone. She's already talked to Daniel once today but she's tempted to call him again. Just to hear her son's voice. But before she can call or check email or anything, the Restricted Access Only door swings open and a doctor in scrubs emerges. Heather stares for a minute, suddenly terrified.

"Family of Agent Gibbs?" He asks. Heather gets up and walks over, shaking.

"I'm Heather Shepard ..."

[on_jennys_terms]

Always the picture of professionalism, Jen gets to her feet as well, taking the few steps over to join her sister and the doctor. If Heather does only one thing well, it's play the role of Terrified Wife.

"Director Jenny Shepard," she adds to Heather's introduction, "Agent Gibbs is one of my agents." But she also makes it clear that she's not there out of moral support to her sister but out of duty. And that's the first time she's realized that.

[dc_knight]

Somewhere, Heather hears Jenny talking but she only focuses on the doctor and tries to hear him over the pounding of her heart. "How is he, Doctor?"

The doctor sighs that tired sigh of someone who has had a very hard day. "It's touch and go right now. The bullet entered in the upper abdomen, under the heart, and bounced around before lodging near the spine, and so we aren't sure about paralysis and we won't be until he wakes up and we can run some tests. The good news is that right now he seems to be responding to pain stimulus. There were fragments of the bullet lodged in his small bowel and liver and we removed them, but there was major blood loss. His left lung collapsed but we were able to re-inflate it and he is breathing on his own. We removed the bullet fragments without incident, but now we are worrying about internal bleeding and keeping his blood pressure stable so he's going to be kept unconscious for at least another day until we're sure his vitals are stable. There's been no coma and no sign of a lack of oxygen to the brain. If all goes well, he'll have a full recovery."

Somehow, Heather realizes he's stopped talking and that it's her turn to ask questions. She takes a breath and focuses. "Thank you." She can feel Jenny behind her, but she can hold her own in a crisis as well and her sister can bite her. "When can I see him?"

"He's going to be in recovery and isolation until morning while we monitor him. You might do best to go home and get some rest."

[on_jennys_terms]

Jen doesn't have any questions of her own. The doctor was thorough, she's been here before, and her sister asked the only other thing she could think of. It's still a waiting game. It always is with this man. She thanks the doctor was well and fixes her eyes on her sister. Now what?

[dc_knight]

"My name is Doctor Landis," the man extends his hand. "I'll be the one here with Agent Gibbs through the night. Leave your information and we'll get in touch with you." He says it to both women. With a smile, he walks back into the trauma area, leaving Heather standing there in front of Jenny.

Heather takes a deep breath and tries to focus. She doesn't want to leave. She wants to park herself outside the isolation area until she can sit there and hold his hand. But she also has a child at home who needs stability right now. She lets out a long sigh and turns back. Jenny is standing closer than she realized.

Now what?

[on_jennys_terms]

Fuck. She's standing closer than she realized. But the cliche Gods must be smiling on her today, because her phone vibrates. She pulls it out, glances at the screen, and then glances at Heather as she steps away to reply to the message.

There's a different look on her face and in her eyes as she answers the text. And it just makes her disconnect even more apparent. Message sent, she pockets the Blackberry and returns to Heather, but keeps the distance this time.

"Since all we're doing is waiting, I have work I can be doing in the meantime."

[dc_knight]

Heather stares at her sister for a moment, confused at to the sudden change in her demeanor. It's clear the message was from someone that makes her happy, and she's glad for it. But there's still a blank emptiness to how she reacts and from the look on Jen's face, it's clear she isn't going to be working. Yet, who is she to judge? How empty was she until just recently? How many years did she tell people she was working when what she was doing was running off to keep herself happy? Maybe that was the point - finding just a bit of happiness in all of this mess. And maybe she was just tired and scared. Words like "touch and go" and "paralysis" echo in her brain, rattling around like the bullet that took Leroy down. What if he doesn't ... no. She can't think like that. The gods aren't that cruel. But she hopes she kissed him goodbye enough, that she held him tight enough, that he understood how much she loved him when she whispered the words as he left the house.

"Yeah. I should get home to James and make sure Caroline can look after him tomorrow. I have to call Daniel too." She realizes she's about to start rambling and stops, staring not at her sister but the red doors. This is her first time dealing with this kind of a thing and she doesn't know how to make her feet move. Jenny is so cool, so collected. She always has been.

Another breath and she looks at her sister again. "You know where to find me, Jen." She leaves the door open. "If you ..." she stops. "Yeah. I'm ..." A breath and she collects herself. They're both better than this. "Jenny, you know where I am," she repeats. "And where I'll be." And she leaves it at that and goes to get her bag and the backpack of Jethro's. She'll bring it back with her in the morning. Head held high around the agents that look to Jenny for direction, she walks to the elevator and presses the button. She won't cry in front of them, no matter how scared she is.

[on_jennys_terms]

She is tired. But scared? No. She's just nothing. Has been nothing for a long time. And she knows when it started and how it started. She just can't do anything to fix it. Maybe some of it is depression. Maybe some of it is just sensory overload. Burnout. Her world has just been falling apart without end ever since her ALS diagnosis. The closest she gets to feeling anything is her time spent with Alex and her dog. Simple pleasures without any labels. She thinks about how he told her she's magnificent and how the dog follows her around adoringly without question.

She watches Heather gather her things and before she can get on the elevator, there's a moment... "Take care."