Broken Heart
What do you do with your gift from God lies to you and stabs you in the back?
Last night around 12:00, I was messing around with Yahoo! profiles.
I decided to look Scott's name up, and I found an account he never told me about. He even lied about it ever exsisting.
You see... We've been together for over 3 years. Back near the end of August I had found out that Scott had a lot of other women on his messenger list. The fact they were women didn't bother me so much as they were all participating in his girl Super Hero fetish and that they were all adult profiles (most with pictures of half-nude women).
Very suspicious. For a year Scott won't even touch me or make love to me! And here he is talking about sex with other women!!!
And I am very open. I have no problem if Scott wants to start a sex group, or if he wants to look at porn... but the catch is he has to be open about it. I only demand honesty.
Anyway, to settle this back then he offered to delete his account and use a joint account with me. On this joint account we were going to restart our groups, join other groups, and I had no problem with this because then it would be open. He wouldn't lie to me again.
I was wrong.
He went and recreated another account, another Adult super hero group, and joined many other groups, and talked to other women just as he did before on Comicfan_for_life.
His new account was Evil_Comicfan_for_life.
Another thing that had pissed me off then and now is that when he did use these profiles he never took the time to put that he was in a long-term relationship. Even though he filled out everything else in the profile!
Apparently he just wanted to talk to other women.
I'm not good enough.
He doesn't want anything sexual to do with me at all.
We use to run several Adult Groups on Yahoo together. I accepted him for who he was. And then he betrays me again.
He lied about the account, the groups, the women.
I confronted him about it.
After first he denyed it, but he knew I had already found him out.
He gave me his password and I looked through his account, the group, everything.
He had started the group in September right after he deleted Comicfan and had lied about it to me the whole time. He knew my rules and he broke them anyway. The last time he updated was Nov. 4th. Right after he got back from visiting me on our Anniversary. How could he?
Then I found an email that he had sent to one woman it said "enjoyed those pictures. your even hotter than lynda (Carter)."
I felt stabbed in the heart. He had other women on his messenger list just as before.
He lied to me about everything.
He won't touch me, make love to me, sex... He won't play the sex games we use to so long ago involving his fetish with me. But then he fulfills this not by going to me, but with other women!
He has neglected me for other a year!
And I've been open and willing... and I get nothing.
I want to lay down and never get up. I want the pain to go away.
And I found out all about this right before we move in with each other.
I can't back out, I can't stay in the dorms. There is nothing I can do except move in with him and watch him like a hawk.
He wants me to trust him and he breaks that trust every time!
First, he lied to me about going out and drinking with friends last semester. Which, I would have be okay with it and supported it, but he lied anyway.
Then he pulls this sex crap on me and I find out about it in August.
And now he recreates it and lies to me.
He lied and hide the truth. Under any other definition isn't that cheating?
With his agreement I deleted his account, his group, everything. He will not do this to me again.
If he does this again, I WILL leave him.
I will make him pay for every sorry thing he has done to me.
He says he still loves me, and he doesn't want us to break up.
What does this really mean? Does it translate as "I'm not done using you yet" ?
He'll probably just got out and buy me something expensive and expect me to be "over it."
How can I ever trust him again?
Last night around 12:00, I was messing around with Yahoo! profiles.
I decided to look Scott's name up, and I found an account he never told me about. He even lied about it ever exsisting.
You see... We've been together for over 3 years. Back near the end of August I had found out that Scott had a lot of other women on his messenger list. The fact they were women didn't bother me so much as they were all participating in his girl Super Hero fetish and that they were all adult profiles (most with pictures of half-nude women).
Very suspicious. For a year Scott won't even touch me or make love to me! And here he is talking about sex with other women!!!
And I am very open. I have no problem if Scott wants to start a sex group, or if he wants to look at porn... but the catch is he has to be open about it. I only demand honesty.
Anyway, to settle this back then he offered to delete his account and use a joint account with me. On this joint account we were going to restart our groups, join other groups, and I had no problem with this because then it would be open. He wouldn't lie to me again.
I was wrong.
He went and recreated another account, another Adult super hero group, and joined many other groups, and talked to other women just as he did before on Comicfan_for_life.
His new account was Evil_Comicfan_for_life.
Another thing that had pissed me off then and now is that when he did use these profiles he never took the time to put that he was in a long-term relationship. Even though he filled out everything else in the profile!
Apparently he just wanted to talk to other women.
I'm not good enough.
He doesn't want anything sexual to do with me at all.
We use to run several Adult Groups on Yahoo together. I accepted him for who he was. And then he betrays me again.
He lied about the account, the groups, the women.
I confronted him about it.
After first he denyed it, but he knew I had already found him out.
He gave me his password and I looked through his account, the group, everything.
He had started the group in September right after he deleted Comicfan and had lied about it to me the whole time. He knew my rules and he broke them anyway. The last time he updated was Nov. 4th. Right after he got back from visiting me on our Anniversary. How could he?
Then I found an email that he had sent to one woman it said "enjoyed those pictures. your even hotter than lynda (Carter)."
I felt stabbed in the heart. He had other women on his messenger list just as before.
He lied to me about everything.
He won't touch me, make love to me, sex... He won't play the sex games we use to so long ago involving his fetish with me. But then he fulfills this not by going to me, but with other women!
He has neglected me for other a year!
And I've been open and willing... and I get nothing.
I want to lay down and never get up. I want the pain to go away.
And I found out all about this right before we move in with each other.
I can't back out, I can't stay in the dorms. There is nothing I can do except move in with him and watch him like a hawk.
He wants me to trust him and he breaks that trust every time!
First, he lied to me about going out and drinking with friends last semester. Which, I would have be okay with it and supported it, but he lied anyway.
Then he pulls this sex crap on me and I find out about it in August.
And now he recreates it and lies to me.
He lied and hide the truth. Under any other definition isn't that cheating?
With his agreement I deleted his account, his group, everything. He will not do this to me again.
If he does this again, I WILL leave him.
I will make him pay for every sorry thing he has done to me.
He says he still loves me, and he doesn't want us to break up.
What does this really mean? Does it translate as "I'm not done using you yet" ?
He'll probably just got out and buy me something expensive and expect me to be "over it."
How can I ever trust him again?