April Showers (bring may flowers) [flashfic challenge 37: now or never]
Title: April Showers (bring may flowers)
Author: kayjayloves
Word count: 261
Concrit?: yes'm
Pairing: jaemin
Rating: pg-13
Summary: he's never been one to make excuses. you hate it.
Author's Notes: rather angsty -- suicide attempt warning.
Sweeping eggshells still at 3am,
We're trying far too hard.
The tattered thought balloons above our heads,
Sinking in the weight of all we need to say.
Whys and what ifs have since long played out,
------
He’s never been the one to make excuses. You’re stuck struggling with your own - you were tired, you were exhausted, this isn’t something that’ll happen again.
Right? (rightrightrightrightright?)
And he just smiles at you like he has it all figured out. The white sheets look crisp around him, pulled up far enough that you can barely see the fine tremors in his hands, the paleness of his arms. (“It wasn’t an accident.” Yunho told you and he sounded programmed. Pained. Numb.)
“Jaejoong,” Changmin is saying. “Tell Junsu this hospital’s the best one - the bed controls are awesome, so he can suck it.”
You don’t know why but that makes you crack. You hate it, the way he doesn’t make excuses, the way he glosses over this like it’s nothing. Like he’s not in a fucking hospital that he put himself in. Like he didn’t take all those pills in the first place.
You wonder if they could’ve pumped out his pain along with the toxins in his stomach.
“Changmin.”
“Hyung?”
Changmin, Changmin, Changmin. The nurse comes in. She takes a glance from you to him and he shrugs his shoulder - so she says, “We’re not sure how long you’ll have to stay for. Everything’s stable, but…”
You see the way his fingers tighten slightly on the sheet. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”
The words come to you after you leave, passing Yoochun on your way out with his hands to his forehead and his eyes red-raw. He held your hand all the way here.
We’ll fix this.
That’s what you should’ve said.
Author: kayjayloves
Word count: 261
Concrit?: yes'm
Pairing: jaemin
Rating: pg-13
Summary: he's never been one to make excuses. you hate it.
Author's Notes: rather angsty -- suicide attempt warning.
Sweeping eggshells still at 3am,
We're trying far too hard.
The tattered thought balloons above our heads,
Sinking in the weight of all we need to say.
Whys and what ifs have since long played out,
------
He’s never been the one to make excuses. You’re stuck struggling with your own - you were tired, you were exhausted, this isn’t something that’ll happen again.
Right? (rightrightrightrightright?)
And he just smiles at you like he has it all figured out. The white sheets look crisp around him, pulled up far enough that you can barely see the fine tremors in his hands, the paleness of his arms. (“It wasn’t an accident.” Yunho told you and he sounded programmed. Pained. Numb.)
“Jaejoong,” Changmin is saying. “Tell Junsu this hospital’s the best one - the bed controls are awesome, so he can suck it.”
You don’t know why but that makes you crack. You hate it, the way he doesn’t make excuses, the way he glosses over this like it’s nothing. Like he’s not in a fucking hospital that he put himself in. Like he didn’t take all those pills in the first place.
You wonder if they could’ve pumped out his pain along with the toxins in his stomach.
“Changmin.”
“Hyung?”
Changmin, Changmin, Changmin. The nurse comes in. She takes a glance from you to him and he shrugs his shoulder - so she says, “We’re not sure how long you’ll have to stay for. Everything’s stable, but…”
You see the way his fingers tighten slightly on the sheet. “Okay,” he says. “Okay.”
The words come to you after you leave, passing Yoochun on your way out with his hands to his forehead and his eyes red-raw. He held your hand all the way here.
We’ll fix this.
That’s what you should’ve said.