Goodbye to my dear sweet wonderful Great Aunt Charlotte
Tonight this beautiful lady on the right, my amazing Great Aunt Charlotte, passed away at the age of 85. She has always been one of my favorite people in this world.
Aunt Charlotte was kind, loving, funny, generous, humble, and outgoing.
She was a model in the 50s, put up with a jackass of a boyfriend for more than 20 years (Gordon was a dick to everyone else but he sure did adore Aunt Charlotte), adopted a Sioux baby from a reservation (my godfather, Mark), suffered and survived losing said longtime boyfriend and all siblings but her baby brother (my grandfather, the youngest of five), and remained always with a smile on her face and joy in her heart even as her own health steadily declined in recent years.
I have always admired and looked up to her and been so proud of her; her accomplishments and the incredibly wonderful person that she has always been. Ever since I was little I've always loved to brag about my great-aunt the model (whom I looked an awful lot like when I was little - what happened?!). She was a gentle spirit who always seemed to be at peace with the world around her and I always wished I could be like that.
The last time I spoke with her was at my Great Aunt Jean's wake; her oldest sister. We talked about how she had moved to Texas to live with her son so he could take care of her. I jokingly told her how much I hate Texas but if anything could ever convince me to set foot in that state again it would be to come visit her. She laughed and took my hands in hers and told me that she would be absolutely delighted if I came to visit. She told me I had been away from the family for too long and she was so glad that I was back. And we hugged and I was glad that I was back, too.
I love my Great Aunt Charlotte very much and I've been in tears for the past hour, ever since my grandma called to tell us the news. My heart is breaking not just for me, but for all my family and especially for my cousin Mark, who no longer has his amazing mother and for my grandfather, who has just lost the last of his siblings.
My grandpa is a strong and very stoic man and the only time I have ever seen him cry was at Aunt Jean's wake. It scared me and it stabbed me right in the heart to see my big tough grandpa so vulnerable. One of the first things I asked my grandma on the phone was, "How is Grandpa doing?" She couldn't answer. I can only imagine.
I don't want to say goodbye, Aunt Charlotte. Not yet. Not now. I know I'll have to but I hope to see your face one last time. I have to hope and pray and wish as hard as I can that we somehow find the money to drive out to Chicago for the funeral 'cause we are some broke ass bitches right now (literally our gas, internet, cable, and phone are all going to be shut off this month).
Is it too late for a birthday wish?