thinking thinking thinking
I'm tired of struggling. I'm tired of always have to find a route through rather then having it laid out for me. I guess it can be said to be character building and it makes me strong, or stronger or somesuch, but its fucking me off that others find things so easily and i...don't get a chance. I've got to grab those chances for myself.
Its just this constant find another way, look for an alterative, shit shit shit and im getting so tired of it.
Anyway, im fucking upset, I hate the fact you can trace my stupid family back to the first fleet, and I get shafted in the UK. I hate that the only easy way is so fucking tied up in red tape its impossible and it physically hurts me to see other people find things so easily, and WORSE don't realise what they've got.
Yet again back to square one, trying to talk to people who know nothing, trying to work something out and people not understanding that i need to know NOW, not in 9 months. I like to be ORGANISED, thats what they want you to do, yet when you ask, its like you're mental for planning so early.
Got my results back, got a distinction average for the year. I'm pleased, but something always has to take the shine off. I am so glad to never have to go back to that uni or 'the most fucked up weird zombie land' as it is now affectionatly known. I'm letting things go, when i should fight, but really, whats the point, I just want to be rid of the baggage i got hung with this year.
Also people around me are getting sick and its making me paranoid. Why is there so much illness in the world?
AH im in such a shit.
Its just this constant find another way, look for an alterative, shit shit shit and im getting so tired of it.
Anyway, im fucking upset, I hate the fact you can trace my stupid family back to the first fleet, and I get shafted in the UK. I hate that the only easy way is so fucking tied up in red tape its impossible and it physically hurts me to see other people find things so easily, and WORSE don't realise what they've got.
Yet again back to square one, trying to talk to people who know nothing, trying to work something out and people not understanding that i need to know NOW, not in 9 months. I like to be ORGANISED, thats what they want you to do, yet when you ask, its like you're mental for planning so early.
Got my results back, got a distinction average for the year. I'm pleased, but something always has to take the shine off. I am so glad to never have to go back to that uni or 'the most fucked up weird zombie land' as it is now affectionatly known. I'm letting things go, when i should fight, but really, whats the point, I just want to be rid of the baggage i got hung with this year.
Also people around me are getting sick and its making me paranoid. Why is there so much illness in the world?
AH im in such a shit.