Back Again
Now that I am freshly showered and full of food, I can continue my last post. Unfortunately, I don't remember what I was going to write. So here comes some rambling...
Today was the first day of school. I don’t think I’ve fully grasped the fact that this is it. My last year. Everything changes after this. Ahhhh. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited. But I’m also nervous, anxious, sad, waiting for it to end but wishing it could just last for just a little longer…
I think this will be a good year. I’m going to try to make it one at least. I have good classes, all with Mel, and a bunch with my other friends, and finally a good set of teachers. The only one I don’t know about is Criminal Justice because we’ve only met him once and didn’t have him today, but I think it’ll be good.
I can’t believe how much has changed in the last three years. I’m no longer friends with a lot of people I was so close to for so long. But honestly, I’m not too brokenhearted about that and looking back, I’m not surprised. Actually, I’m kind of glad. My friends now mean so much to me, I don’t think they know. They keep me sane, which is tough to do. I trust them a lot, something that is often hard for me to do. I know I don’t open up as much as I should, which probably hinders some of my relationships, but I’m going to make an effort to put the real me out there. I’m so afraid of being judged/ridiculed/whatever by people I don’t know that I hold myself back. But it’s my last year, and after this I don’t ever have to see these people again, so screw it. I’m sick of being insecure and so self-conscious it’s all I can do not to run home and hide myself away. I’m going to try to be better about it…but no guarantees. I hate not keeping promises.
And there was a lot more I was going to say…but I’m blanking. So, maybe another again later, if not, hopefully tomorrow.
But I did decide that I want to try to end every post with a quote of some sorts. Obviously it will not be an entirely effective plan, given that I forgot on my last one, so we’re shooting for the majority of posts. Here’s today’s, one of my all time favorites:
“You've got three choices in your life.
Give up, give in, or give it your all.”