That Time of Year Again... Yee-Haw
No, I don't mean the time of year for fireworks, and family BBQs. For me, and the other people who live in Calgary, Alberta Canada, it's Stampede time again. What is the Stampede you ask? Well, if you want the official version, it's here. It's all lovely and family friendly. Pfft. Yeah, right.
Let me tell you about the truth of the Calgary Stampede. Real Calgarians tend to hate it. The rodeo is fine, even fun. Its the rest of the "Party Atmosphere" that gets to me. Calgary will be fucking Sodom and Gomorrah for the next two weeks. The populations explodes, putting stress on all the services the city provides, especially our police service, who, for the next two weeks will be stretched to the limit by stupid drunks and fights and god knows what else. Studies have shown that the STD rate doubles... that's right, doubles, during Stampede. Hmm... Wranglers cutting off the circulation to the brain there, cowboy? And speaking of Wranglers. I can't wait to see all the urban cowboys wedged into their far too tight jeans and their far too expensive cowboy hats... and lets not talk about the tacky cowboy shirts. I don't even want to think about it.
And then the tourists... ugh... Now, I'm sure there are some wonderful people visiting our fair city, but when there are this many people asking how to get the the Calgary Tower (look moron, see that building with the flaming torch on the top? That's it. Now bugger off) it gets to be a bit much. And I have to ask, if it's Tourist Season why can't I shoot them??
Now, just when you need a drink, another problem rears it's ugly head. Every bar and restaurant in town has doubled their prices. Fine, wanna make a quick buck? That's fine. But a hundred dollar cover charge to get into a crappy club that I got into for five bucks last week is a little stupid... no, actually, it's a lot stupid. This isn't LA or New York, and your club isn't that cool. Sorry.
So, why not go down the the Stampede grounds and have some fun? Well, I'm not a kid anymore, and while a few rides would be cool, I'm not paying the kind of money they're asking for an all you can ride pass, or even for a handful of tickets. So a show maybe? Yeah, that is the only part of the Stampede that I like. The concerts that roll through for the next two weeks are pretty damned good, especially since a fair few of them are free with Park admission. I know exactly which days I'm going down just because I know who's playing the Coke Stage those nights. This year includes Lifehouse, the Trews, Natasha Beddingfield, Finger Eleven... and many more. That's just the Coke Stage too. There are the Shows at Nashville North (mostly country music, obviously), and the ones at the Saddledome (that building the Calgary Flames play in... you know, hockey? NHL? Y'all know what I'm talking about, right?) Last year we saw the Tragically Hip and Bon Jovi during the Stampede. Can't complain about that. And the rodeo is pretty cool... if you're into that type of thing. Personally, the Chuckwagon races are neat, but it's really not my scene.
*sigh* So my fellow Calgarians will be locking our doors, or leaving town (the prefered way of dealing with the Stampede for the native population) and bracing ourselves. Personally, someone hand me a corndog and one of those twenty dollar beers. We'll sit on the hill outside the park and wait for the fireworks to start. Literally or figuratively, it should be a great show.